June 22nd, 2009

One of the many things that Ass Burger Boy is sensitive to is touch. He cannot handle people touching him unexpectedly. To this day, he will ask for a hug, and I won’t give him one unless he knows it is coming. It’s just the way he is. We hug lots, it just needs a verbal introduction.

When he was a wee infant, I had the most crazy-making task of bathing him. With! Water! Oh, the pain! Big bath, little bath, sponge bath, it all set him off terribly. It wasn’t until he was able to sit up without assistance before I could really introduce him to a proper bath.

I started by sitting him in a plastic wee tub, filled with toys. He was happy about this. Next, I put the plastic toy-filled tub inside the regular sized tub. While he was happily playing with the toys, I put a small amount of warm water from a pitcher in the wee tub. Gradually, I increased the amount, and finally, when I felt he was comfortable, he graduated to the big tub.

This story was to illustrate just how gradually he needs to be introduced to external stimuli.

Last night, he comes home with a girl he had been talking to online for quite a while. No warning, brings her in through the kitchen with all the food prep mess(soaking pots, etc) and drags her over to be introduced.

I ask if he’s hungry and begin to prepare supper. I come out to ask if she is one of those people who won’t eat in front of others to determine just how much I should make. (Note: I wouldn’t eat from a kitchen that looked like that if it weren’t my own.)

They are on the living room sofa, and she is draped all over him, all snuggly and romantic. Shortly, thereafter, she announces that she has to study, and, oh, my! she will get lost going back to the dorm without him to accompany her. I’m thinking “Study, my foot”, but say nothing. It’s obvious to me the girl is horny and wants some alone time with ABB.

He goes out with her, WITHOUT EATING HIS SUPPER. This boy treasures his grub. And I’m not overly thrilled to make a meal that will go uneaten.

He had no.clue. that she wanted some “alone time” with him. I had to tell him. He wonders why she didn’t just say so. Hah. She’s a 19 year old girl, that’s why.

Today, he tells me that he explained to her how he doesn’t like to be touched unexpectedly, and that they didn’t “do” anything.

I respond by commenting about protection, because it only takes once.

He says he will use a gun for protection. Funny.

I say even if it’s shooting blanks, you’re only half protected. I can be funny too.

Now, he’s wondering just how hard it will be to have a girlfriend if she expects all this touching stuff. He wants me to do the psychic thing and tell him if it will work out. I tell him that dating is practice for learning about one another, and it isn’t always easy, but it will give him skills to interact with someone he will love, much needed skills.

Now he has a lot to work out. This girl moves too fast for him, yet he longs for a girlfriend.

If only a girlfriend didn’t involve the touching thing…

This entry was posted on Monday, June 22nd, 2009 at 4:02 pm and is filed under Ass Burger Boy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

12 Responses to “Touch Him Not”

Miss Ash Says:

So… What happens? :)
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Krystal Says:

We would go good together! I don’t like to be touched without notice either. However, I have huge germ issues, not because I’m sensitive to touch.
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Krissa Says:

Wow. I wonder what ABB’s future holds? There is someone out there for him. Does he belong to any associations for people with Asperger’s Syndrome? Maybe there are social things that he could go to where there are people who will understand his needs and requirements and be more likely to have the same needs.
Just a thought.
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MidLifeMama Says:

Aaaaah, I can completely identify. I am a touchy feely person, on my terms and not by surprise. As you say, it will work when it is right, when it is someone he loves. Someone who understands and doesn’t need touching 24/7. The Bob and I most nights sit on separate couches. I can’t be touched all the time. It is EXHAUSTING.
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Ree Says:

I hope he can find a way to tell her…and that she’ll find it in herself to understand.

You’re a good mama.
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Nan Says:

He is so lucky to have such a sensitive mama. Many parents wouldn’t have thought to introduce him gently to bathing! And explaining what the girlfriend wants is good. He will figure it out eventually, with plenty of help!
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Coast Rat Says:

Well, momma, this is a very interesting time for both ABB AND you. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}!
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lceel Says:

I have absolutely no idea what to say without making myself seem an idiot. There’s some funny shit that comes to mind – but I really don’t want to make fun of his situation. At his age, longing for a girlfriend can be the achiest and worst feeling ever. I hope, truly hope, he can find someone as understanding and patient as his Mum.

Old Knudsen Says:

Did he not do this before? it looks like the ABS is a chick magnet, i may try it.
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iamthediva Says:

i hate it when strangers touch me, like when waitresses touch your shoulder, or sales clerks adjust the clothes i’m trying on…

i also get uncomfortable with hugs… when is it appropriate to hug, when is it okay to just smile and wave… i had a group of dirty hippy friends who hugged all the goddamned time, so i got used to it, but even now… there’s this awkwardness.

unless its B-rad, i could hug him till my arms fell off.
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FreedomFirst Says:

Poor guy. Sounds like you have your hands very full there. Good luck to you both.
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Hyphen Mama Says:

I think ABB needs a woman in her 40s instead of a 19 year old girl. 40ish women are MUCH more inclined to wait until the right moment.

Really? You don’t peer down his future path… just to see? You are a very respectful woman!