December 27th, 2007

One of the characteristics of autistic behaviours is obsessions. Come to think of it, I just might be autistic myself. But this isn’t about me. Hah!

Ass Burger Boy was obsessed with toilets ever since toilet training began. I think I may have helped to fuel this obsession, since I was pretty eager not to clean up poop.

This obsession impacted my older sister, who had taken ABB to Sears and was thoroughly mortified when he demonstrated his big boy skills in the display toilet. I don’t think she praised him for it. Encouragement is critical during toilet training. It may have set him back a bit.

By sheer accident, I stumbled onto the “What’s in it for me?” method of motivating ABB. I swear I knew the instant he was toilet trained for real. I could see in his eyes the connection as he made it to being a big boy, toilet training, and another fascination of his, which was beards. Since every time he used the potty, I told him he was getting to be a bigger boy, it really clicked with him when I said that when he was bigger, he could grow a beard of his own, much preferable to feeling up the beards of random strangers. I swear I used all the creativity I could muster to motivate that chile.

During this very long period of time,we lived in a place with air in the pipes, and the toilet made a horrifying noise, which I tried to explain by telling him that the toilet needed to clear its throat. Yes, in hindsight, this was entirely stupid of me, but hey, the kid was terrified. Frankly, so was I. Terrified he would never come near a toilet again. I saw myself changing poopy diapers up to the time I might need mine changed. The noise it made sounded like a screechy ERRRRRR, so we made friends with it, and called the toilet Errr.

This led to a great curiosity about other people’s toilets. He wanted to find out if anyone else had a toilet with personality that he could befriend.

Every time we went to a place he hadn’t been to before, he would ask the inhabitants right away “What colour is your toilet?” followed by “Can I see it?” These are the questions he came up with after I had to hurriedly explain to him that only our toilet was called Errr, because of course, he asked to see their Errr, and they had no idea what the Errr he meant.

A few years after he was toilet trained, he asked less often to see people’s toilets, and he quit entirely asking them what colour their toilet was. I didn’t fully understand the perseverance of his obsessions, but was happy to let it go.

A few weeks ago, I asked him if when he goes to a new place, he makes it a point to use the bathroom.

Yes, yes, he does. He has just gotten more subtle with his obsessions as he has matured. And now, I have more mildly amusing stories, and less explanations to provide.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 27th, 2007 at 1:56 am and is filed under Ass Burger Boy, little bits, poop is funny. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

13 Responses to “Toilets”

kailani Says:

Girlie Girl used to have a fear of toilets. She hated the loud flushing noise. Imagine how traumatized she was when she used the airplane’s lav for the first time! She thought she was going to get sucked out of the plane! LOL!

kailani’s last blog post..It’s Only 72 Hours

Just Beachy Says:

Brother as well, he wouldn’t use the public restrooms because the flush was too loud. Me, I don’t use them because most of them are ewwwy.

Just Beachy’s last blog post..Excuse Me Sir, That’s My Daughter

RaeJane Says:

Oh. That’s funny.
It’s so interesting what they can become obsessed with. My daughter, she’s 4, likes to count things, namely wine bottles.
I choose to believe this has no reflection on the amount of wine I drink.
Anywho, going into a store with her can be a little scary, as she has to touch the bottles and count them.

I like to steer her towards the chips!

And really, if you’re going to have a “disorder” , Asperger’s has a really fun name.

I think I mentioned previously that my daughter says she has ‘ass boogers’… it’s pretty comical.

RaeJane’s last blog post..Birthday Wisdom

zoe Says:

OMG!!! AT Sears!! LMAO!!! Peyton sat on one at Lowes and pretended but never did anything. My boys have to “go to the bathroom” any time we go anywhere where there is a potty. I have no clue why…what is so cool in the bathroom????

zoe’s last blog post..Clothing Optional

josey Says:

i hope you know now, witchyp, that we expect a full-length post and response on the fact that you yourself, may have Ass Boogers! hehehe!!! hmmm wonder if PreparationH would cure it? LOL!

(i love that translation, zoe!! reminds me of when i was a kid…me and my sister would say “ice cream” with a superdooper southern drawl…try it! ;) )

i think its hilarious that ABB admitted he still checks out the toidies. TOO FUNNY! i’d venture to guess we all have our weerd things like that. and no, im not telling mine! ;)

Talina Says:

I love reading about ABB!! Josey is right, we all must have those strange obsessions much like the checking of the toilet… but I am not telling! LOL..

Talina’s last blog post..Still trying to finish your holiday shopping?

Angella Says:

I like your stories about ABB. You’re a good Momma :)

Angella’s last blog post..The Hall Of Justice

Old Knudsen Says:

I still don’t believe in ass burgers but that toilet question is a good ice breaker at parties, now if only people would invite me to parties.

Old Knudsen’s last blog post..Deadly Tiger Attack At Zoo

Poppy Says:

I’ll never drink while reading your blog ever again. I nearly choked on my soda.

But that’s adorable! Sure, it’s creepy and kinda weird, but hey, what can you do?

My brother was obsessed with undressing Barbie Dolls, then taking them to the bathtub and splashing a lil’ concert for ‘em. Of course, now he won’t admit to doing that. xD


Poppy’s last blog post..Schedule? Pen? Notebook!!

Mommi Tutu Says:

Too funny!

My sister’s kids went through a period where they couldn’t go ANYWHERE without her kids having to check out the bathroom . .. she used to get so grossed out but couldn’t deny her kids if they said they HAD to go potty . . .man what a trip. I am so not looking forward to toilet training my crew!

Mommi Tutu’s last blog post..I Think I have a Hand Fetish

Jenny Says:

We have a really loud Air Assist toilet–it’s like jet propulsion. My 5 year-old nephew refuses to use it, it scares him so much. I was so afraid when I was potty training our daughter that she’d freak out and refuse to use it. Luckily she’s got guts and it doesn’t bother her. But she does have a fascination with restrooms whenever we’re out…she has to potty at every toilet. She’s like a dog, has to stop at every tree.

Jenny’s last blog post..The Hunter Becomes the Hunted

Wendy Says:

Mine was afraid of the toilet noise too. He still will panic in public restrooms with really loud flushers. I think every mom thinks that their kid will never potty train… I know I did! Great story!

Wendy’s last blog post..I Can Bring Home the Bacon…..

ABB Says:

That toilet was scary. And yes I do check people’s bathrooms
out to see the color of their toilet. (”checking where the bathroom is in case i have to go”)
Sears is something I tell some people about. I’m not embarrassed (my aunt was though).
This blog is well written and I find myself laughing.
well, if you like it too, subscribe(yes I shamelessly advertise too, she’s my mom!)