April 29th, 2008

I hate hospitals. They suck all the energy out of me. I looked around the waiting area, where people were gathered to await various procedures, and did not see a single smiling face. One woman looked like she had been crying for three months, then caked makeup onto her face. I get that people are usually in the diagnostic procedures area for a reason, but sheesh! Your whole freaking life doesn’t have to be focused on what ails you. Or what may or may not ail you.

So what I have (besides those nifty little ball bearings that are taped to your nipple for a mammogram-and really? How fun are they?) is a tentative diagnosis of a cyst. One that has cloudy fluid at one end, which the ultrasound doctor said was most likely because it had shrunk between the time I noticed the lump and had it imaged. And oh, I need to go back in three months to see if it has changed any. Just for the ultrasound. No more boobie-squishing, which frankly, hurts a bit. Maybe more.

I found out why there was such a long wait for the mammogram. It isn’t lack of equipment, oh, no. It’s because there is only one practitioner available to conduct the mammograms. Plenty machines, not enough people. Guess they all went to the states where they get paid better.

So boobie sandwich day isn’t my favourite day, but I lived through it. I’m not in a great mood after languishing in waiting rooms for two hours altogether, amongst those sour-faced patients, but I still know how to smile. I might even do it after a slug of wine or two.

So, for those who want to know? We think it’s a cyst that doesn’t quite behave like a cyst, and we’re keeping an eye on it.

I was going to take a picture of the little ball bearings they tape to the nipples, but the ultrasound doctor made me take one off, and I lost it. And really, what kind of a lame picture would it be anyway?

Please, please don’t unsubscribe. I know I have a decent post in me somewhere. Maybe tomorrow I will find it.

Further explanation of ball bearings: They are BB sized, and are used to mark the location of the nipples on the image, so measurements can be taken for closeups of the lump.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 29th, 2008 at 3:36 pm and is filed under it's all about me. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

25 Responses to “Today Was Boobie Sandwich Day”

Ree Says:

Okay, so granted, I haven’t had that many mammograms, but I can state, with all certainty, that none of them involved any kind of ball bearings on my nipples or elsewhere.

In fact, the only ball bearing – like things that have ever been near my body were situated a bit lower. ;-)

Ree’s last blog post..Food and Taxes

iamthediva Says:

Sending extra huge maternity boobie love your way.

daysgoby Says:

I went through that a few months ago, right down to the sour-faced (worried?) patients in the long hall and the ball bearings…
and the strange cyst, which grows and shrinks each month.

Boobie stuff isn’t fun. I’m really, really hoping my daughter doesn’t inherit the giganticus rack her mother has.

daysgoby’s last blog post..up the road

kailani Says:

Hope the cyst that doesn’t behave like a cyst really isn’t a cyst. Keep us posted!

kailani’s last blog post..Giveaway: Subscription to The Old Schoolhouse Magazine

ALF Says:

I like hospitals. My mom is a nurse and as kids, we would visit her at work on a pretty regular basis. Hospitals feel almost homey to me – is that totally strange?

ALF’s last blog post..I Can See The Moonlight Bouncing Off Her Head

Old Knudsen 2 Times award winning commenter Says:

Well I did tell you it was a cyst and not something worse. Old Knudsen has felt more tits than you’ve had hot dinners.

Cysts inflate and deflate, some pop on their own some need to be stuck. I its probably just a benign cyst. Hospitals are horrible places and worse full of germs and dead people, time to cheer up you are out and don’t have to go back for a while.

Old Knudsen 2 Times award winning commenter’s last blog post..Throwaway Culture

Sacred Suzie Says:

That’s OK, we all have bad health days here and there and they take up a lot of our thoughts. I went to get blood taken a while ago and had to wait two and a half hours and started to cry! And that was just for blood, not a boobie sandwich. I hope you’re doing OK now and look forward to your future posts.

Sacred Suzie’s last blog post..Mahone Bay Part Deux

Angella Says:

I’m hoping the boobies are OK!!

Angella’s last blog post..I Hate This Stage

Veronica Says:

*sigh of relief*

Veronica’s last blog post..The Taste Of Bitterness

The Over-Thinker Says:

So I’ve been “off-line” lately and I KNEW you wouldn’t let me down with your current post title. And I KNEW that a title with boobies in it would illicit a kick-ass remark from Knudsey. He didn’t let me down either.

I’ve never had the boobie sandwich and I’m looking forward to it like a conservative looks forward to Jenna Jameson book-signing. And holy-hell…ball bearings? Really?

I sure hope you get good news in 3 months. I’ll send good, ball-bearing-less thoughts your way. Take care of yourself, Witchy.

The Over-Thinker’s last blog post..Remind me to tell you about my accidental enthusiasm about a Strip Club…

Jenny Says:

I think I look forward to a boobie sandwich about as much as most men look forward to a colonoscopy. I’m such a wuss. I’ll pray they knock me out, or give me valium. Maybe I’ll take the self-medicated approach.

I’m glad it appears to only be a cyst.

I’m loving the comments, though. There sure are some award winning comments in this post!!

Jenny’s last blog post..I’ve Got a Case of the Mondays–On Tuesday

Amanda (Shamelessly Sassy) Says:

Good luck recovering from the boobie sandwich!

Amanda (Shamelessly Sassy)’s last blog post..Parental Confession #2342098

lceel Says:

Not exactly what I was anticipating when today was announced as ‘boobie sandwich day’. However, the disappointment is worth it if it means we’ve found out that yout tits are okay. BTW, they’re okay with me. And if the process has proven painful, I can kiss ‘em and make ‘em better. MWAH! (left side) MWAH! (right side) MWAH!(back to the left side – I’m left handed) MWAH! (back to the right side – gotta make ‘em even) There. All better now. Now for the nipple licking ….. nom, nom, nom ….

lceel’s last blog post..introspection – why I blog

Jenny Says:

Wow, there’s more foreplay going on a witchypoo’s place tonight than I’ve seen in a coon’s age. Now I’m sweating and going to have to take leave to head to bed. I hope you all will excuse me.

Jenny’s last blog post..I’ve Got a Case of the Mondays–On Tuesday

teeni Says:

Okay – First – I’m so glad it appears to be a cyst. That is good news but also good to keep an eye on it. Whew!

Second – you really need a search box over here somewhere because I know you’ve mentioned before why you needed the little ball bearings on your nipples but for the life of me, I can’t remember why and so I’m left wondering again too.

Third – I realize that I shouldn’t be telling you what you need over here when I can’t even get my own site straightened out. But I’m allowed to be selfish once in a while too. ;)

teeni’s last blog post..I’m Outta Here!

Kelley Says:

Not looking forward to the boob squishing machine. It had to be invented by a man. And prostate checks by a woman.

Glad to hear that it is just a cyst babe. Sending hugs for your poor squished boobies.

Kelley’s last blog post..You just lost the game.

Old Knudsen 2 Times award winning commenter Says:

That Lceel will do anything for a peep, upon saying that a boobie sandwich would go doon a treat though I think its called motor boating when you put yer face inbetween and go flubalubalubalub.

Old Knudsen 2 Times award winning commenter’s last blog post..Throwaway Culture

Posh Totty Says:

Fingers Crossed that everything is ok Xxx

Posh Totty’s last blog post..Two Movies

Heidi Says:

The ball bearing taped to boobage–is that a Canadian thing?

Mylifeasmomma Says:

I have this funny ass image of boobies being squished together and bread on top.
Oh and nice little ball bearing hangin off. Sounds like a weird porno.

Hope your cyst is okay.

Mylifeasmomma’s last blog post..Having a hyper sick kid sucks.

frogpondsrock Says:

Ball bearings???? that is really weird.. I just heave the ole tittie up onto the base plate of the machine and squisho-presto…boobie sandwich….”ouch”

frogpondsrock’s last blog post..Real cats catch Rats..

nan Says:

Knudsey, have you been feeling up Witchypoo’s boobies?

Hope all is well, Witchypoo. It is a shame we have to be so careful of our boobs, it would be great if we could just say “Huh. A lump” and get on with our lives. But no, we have to go and check. Bummer. It will be fine, though. Knudsey knows!

nan’s last blog post..Quote Of The Day

Kristabella Says:

I had a mammogram at the age of 29 last year when I had a lumpy thing. It was nothing, just kind of how the tissue was. And I have to keep an eye on it.

It’s not pleasant, have your ta-tas squished, but it wasn’t as bad as I imagined.

Hope everything is A-OK!

Kristabella’s last blog post..It’s A Contest!

zoe Says:

i have to disagree with knudsen a bit here. yes hospitals are full of germs and sadness but they also hold happiness, hope and new beginings. i squish boobies all day at work. very rewarding…somedays. anyway i’m so glad it’s a cyst!

zoe’s last blog post..Back Off

Dawn Says:

so if it is shrinking then all those positive thoughts are hugely helpful? :)

Dawn’s last blog post..I’m never watching “The Toy” again…