Do you know this cat?

This cat that disappears when new people enter the house?

This cat that sniffs when its potential servants are trying to

coax it over to be petted, loved, and fawned over?

This cat Always. Comes. To. Me.

Do I call this cat? Do I try to entice it?

No. No, I do not.

I sit very still, hoping this cat will not see me, smell me, wish to

rub its allergen laden self against me.

But no. Resistance is futile. This cat must mark me with its smell.

What? You think this cat rubbing against you is showing affection?

You are so very wrong. It’s all about the marking of the territory.

And this cat? This cat marks me as someone who will very soon

make a lunge for the Benedryl.

And this cat? This cat laughs at me, in the cattiest way possible.

This cat wants me on drugs.

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