If you’re not up on Skinny Bitch, you need to go for an introduction and for a follow-up

She’s totally worth it.

SB is not somebody you want as an enemy. She remembers wrong doings for a long, long time. Even unintentional ones. Her poor husband. He suffered through her pregnancy. Why? Because SB suffered through her pregnancy. This woman is tiny, not just skinny. There is not much room for a baby in her tiny body. She found it very hard to breathe at night, and could only breathe a little when she slept sitting up.

All the while that SB is throwing menacing thoughts of “You did this to me!” to Mr. SB, she is begrudging him his easy slumber and breathing. Sometimes she would wake him up and accuse him of taking two breaths. Two! The nerve!

When she told me about this, she acknowledged that she had a few scores to settle with Mr. SB, but she couldn’t really enjoy the torture she put him through because she was so miserable herself.

This is when the diabolical scheme was hatched. She decided that when she went through menopause, she would most likely be too miserable to enjoy Mr. SB’s torture. Yes, it appears that my very presence will trigger hateful schemes against your loved ones. I guess everybody has a talent. Who knew?

Her plan is to fake her menopause before she actually goes through menopause. That way, he will suffer twice, and she will be able to enjoy his suffering at least once.

I’m so grateful I haven’t gotten on her bad side. She’s scary that way.

For all those who are feeling sorry for Mr. SB, he is a gorgeous, hard-working man who is so besotted by their daughter that he believes every word that comes out of her teenage mouth. He overruled SB on matters of the daughter’s Dirtbag Boyfriend. For that, fake menopause is getting off easy.

Shameless self-promotion: Show me some freaking love. Go on, vote. You know you wanna. You have to register first, but you will make me very happy. Check your junk mail folder for the registration confirmation. Oh, and if it says voting is closed? It is for 2007, but this award is for 2008.