February 25th, 2008

A bloggy friend of mine, Zoe is having some teenage curfew problems with her son, who has recently been very ill.

Even at the height of Ass Burger Boy’s teenage rebellion I had to laugh at the irony of it all.

Did he do drugs? No, he did not.

Did he drink? Again, no.

How about whoring around with women? Nope.

None of that, and yet? His rebellion caused much angst in the household.

It was about church. Let me hasten to say, not just any old church. It was a get-the-survival-gear-the-heathens-are-coming type of church. One with no affiliations to a sane church. Just a standalone congregration making it up as they go along. But hey! They had food! And they offered ABB a social interface which he was sorely lacking. And their exclusionary preaching pitted him against the person who loves him most in this world.

They scared the living daylights out of me. Whenever we rationally tried to discuss religion, the hand would come up, and the mind would shut down. He was so convinced that I was a Tool of Satan that he was afraid anything I said would compromise his salvation.

I understood his longing to connect to his spirituality. I had done the same thing when I was younger than he. I went to several different churches, and one of them was a similar nutbar church. They offered free! church camp! with games! and zany contests! I was all over it.

I was very disillusioned at the free! church camp! however. The elders became verbally abusive when the little darlings were away from their parents for two weeks.

I left the church after camp, and formed my own conclusions about spirituality. One of which is that it doesn’t necessarily have to do with religion. It’s what is in your heart. And that Jesus got it.

ABB was so wrapped up in this church that he sabotaged a great paying job he was offered by the promoters of a psychic fair. He was to greet customers, and hand out flyers. He took the opportunity to proselytize. He even went so far as to admonish one woman that if she valued her soul, she would run away from the psychic fair. Strangely enough, this didn’t ensure job security.

A lot of the same kind of things went on until I.Had.Had.Enough.

After one outburst from ABB where he shouted “Satan is speaking through you!” I felt I had to take a hard line.

I told him that he could live with his mother, or he could attend this church, but he wasn’t to do both at the same time.

He was certain that Satan had won.

I encouraged him to find other churches in the area. (Some of them even had food!) to see if he could find a place where he felt he fitted.

He did find a church or two that he enjoyed, and yes, they had food. He knows what is important to him.

We got to a point where we could converse rationally about religion, and he allowed that the first church was a titch tightarse.

Ya think???

One of the churches he discovered was a charismatic Mennonite sect, where the emphasis was on the Holy Spirit rather than looking down your nose at others. I found the people quite charming and sincere. He decided to join the church and was baptized. They had a lovely outdoor ceremony and picnic. I was happy to attend.

He also got very involved with the Greek Orthodox Church. A little strange, but, hey, they have strong ties with an organization, and don’t make up their dogma as they go along.

When he announced that he wanted to be baptised in the Greek church, I reminded him that he was already baptised. I knew this because I watched. I accused him in jest of being a baptismal slut. I attended, because it was so important to him. I have reasons of my own why I don’t feel comfortable in churches anymore. The ceremony was about an hour long, but there was a nice meal afterward.

He still attends both churches. The first for social reasons, to visit with the nice and charming congregants. He doesn’t take communion there, though. The second is his spiritual home, and I am fine with that.

And? I’m happy that his spiritual life keeps him from doing the stupid things that most young people do like drugs and partying.

I have to tell you though, I truly feared for him when he was at the nutbar church. I don’t regret taking a very hard line to get him away from them, either. Not one bit.

This entry was posted on Monday, February 25th, 2008 at 1:27 pm and is filed under Ass Burger Boy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

23 Responses to “Teenage Rebellion, ABB style”

Tasha Says:

Wow, thankfully the closest to a nutbar church I ever went to was a Baptist church (so, fairly nutbar, lol). I stopped going when I got pregnant *gasp* without a wedding ring and the entire congregation turned their back on me. It was a blessing in disguise, while it hurt at the time at least I didn’t waste any more of my time there. Baptists are waaaay more conservative than I am, and they are kinda scary. Personal opinion.

Could you maybe further elaborate your belief system? I love hearing about a persons spirituality.

Tasha’s last blog post..Tweet, Tweet! Tweets for 2008-02-23

witchypoo Says:

Tasha: Q: Why don’t Baptists have sex standing up?
A: Because people might think they are dancing.
One post you can check out to understand (hopefully) some of my beliefs is here
Further elaboration may involve an Ask witchypoo post.
Simple version:
Love is the glue that binds the universe together.
God is love.

teeni Says:

A totally different type of teenage rebellion than I’m used to hearing about, that’s for sure! ABB may need to create his own religion which involves worshipping in the kitchen in front of a giant refrigerator or something. LOL.

teeni’s last blog post..Applebee’s – Saved by the Waiter

Wayne Says:

I find that people are better off by keeping their religion to themselves and following what is in their hearts. We don’t need anyone else to help us reach God, and the actions of others will not stop you either, unless you allow it.

“I stopped going when I got pregnant *gasp* without a wedding ring and the entire congregation turned their back on me.” – That’s probably because they are sheep that need (NEED) a leader and they cannot think for themselves. I would call anyone or church that exhibits this type of behavior very bad for the planet. It is no different than saying “You are an infidel because you don’t believe like we do”. I don’t think Jesus would condone such arrogance.

That’s why I quit church and silently obtain spirituality in my own way. Being that the popular belief is that god is ‘all forgiving’, I figure he’ll understand my issues with organized religion and allow me entry (should all that be there in the first place).

I sincerely wish people would start thinking for themselves and question authority a bit more. Too many people just follow these churches so blindly that they too are blind to what they propogate. Sad.

witchypoo Says:

Teenie: He worships in front of the fridge here at home, but for more structure, he likes the church ;)
Wayne: That was kind of my point.

Loralee Says:

I am really respectful of most beliefs. I don’t mind people having opinions or sharing beliefs, missionary work, etc. but spirituality and religion is about the most personal thing there is and nothing irritates me more than “Haters” of any kind.

You did a good job keeping an open mind and being a supportive, yet protective parent. Which is what parents are supposed to do.

Loralee’s last blog post..Sideblog:Peep of the Week!

Old Knudsen award winning commenter Says:

The problem is sheep and shepherds, the sheep like to be told what to do and don’t think too much which is why you only have sex with sheep and not conversations. I don’t believe in off the peg one size fits all religion that’s like settling. Religion should be custom fitted to the needs of the individual. Jesus or at least his writers did get it which is why I get sickened when I go to a town that has more elaborate expensive churches than pubs, that church money could have went to making pubs or a neutering program in Africa or something.

If you look deep enough you’ll see that a lot of the Christian stuff was originally pagan and hey even Lucifer used to be an angel and the horns only came about to ‘demonise’ the pagan nature gods. Not to mention that demons actually means spirit or guardian like a guardian angel so I don’t go for modern day meanings much. Did you know the word ‘Ugly’ originally meant feared or dreaded? people today can believe what ever they want that’s their prerogative (unless they live with you and are minors but still must follow yer rules even in they are of age) but the thing is people are more likely to believe what they are told and never question which disgusts me a little.

Don’t get me started on Pentecostals I was married to one, that religion was started by a one eyed uneducated black bloke from Texas in the 1920’s and as for the rapture that was made up in the 1800’s.

Saying all of this God has assured me of my place in Heaven as I have some compromising pictures of him and Buddha.

Old Knudsen award winning commenter’s last blog post..Muggings Are Now A Medical Procedure

Old Knudsen award winning commenter Says:

I’m a little disappointed there is nothing to vote on, you have me trained like Pavlov’s dog.

Old Knudsen award winning commenter’s last blog post..Muggings Are Now A Medical Procedure

ABB Says:

Nutbars are everywhere though, not just church. Look at the modern day governments. Of course, they’re also on everyone’s favorite site youtube.
My point is that maybe the problem isn’t just one group, but the fact that so many people are off their meds. hehehe.

ABB’s last blog post..Funny Picture

warriorwoman Says:

my relatives are all gehova’s wittnesses, they’re interesting!!!!!!!

warriorwoman’s last blog post..ghost lady

RaeJane Says:

oh.. the nutbar churches.

I went to one for a very long time. Good golly.

I loved the food, too. Potlucks were my favorite.
At 15, i was asked to leave the church beause of my “bad” behavior… at the time, it broke my heart.
Now I understand that I was veering farther and farther away from the Cult.

RaeJane’s last blog post..pleahg

Jenny Says:

Organized religion has never settled well with me. If you can’t ask questions and get real answers, what’s the point? I mean, aside from the food and companionship.

Jenny’s last blog post..Momnesia

witchypoo Says:

Loralee: Thank you. It certainly wasn’t a popular decision at the time.
Knudsey: You make some very valid points. But I didn’t think God would fall for your blackmail scheme. As for asking for your vote, I’m sorry. If you have a different browser, you can get in a sneaky vote on it. Or, you could click on over to my shop and buy something.
ABB: Meds. I’ll take that under advisement ;)
Warrior Woman: Most of mine are Pentecostal. Freaks.
RaeJane: If I had thinner skin, I would be hurt by the readiness of some congregants to classify me as someone they are better than because of the psychic stuff I do.
Jenny: It’s the swallowing whole of made up dogma and no questions allowed that scares me silly.

The Over-Thinker Says:

Baptismal Slut would be an awesome name for a band.

Kidding aside–this is a great post. Really honest. I like it.

The Over-Thinker’s last blog post..Now with more Air-Microphone

witchypoo Says:

Over Thinker: If you think this is a great post, I would appreciate a Stumble ;)
And thank you. I am flattered. I think it’s an important topic.

BlueBella Says:

This post gives best use of the word “nutbar” I’ve seen outside the context of candy:)

BlueBella’s last blog post..A Letter

witchypoo Says:

Bluebella: When I heard the word nutbar many many years ago, I thought it was so corny, but somehow it has crept into my vocabulary.
Maybe Nutbar Baptismal Sluts would be a good band name too heh, heh.

bloggernoob Says:

great post witchy. i didn’t know you had a son that went to a nutbar church. i went to a nutbar church too when i was a youngin. my whole family did. now i can’t have a conversation that lasts longer then 10 mins without my mother crying cause i’m going to hell. the thing that i liked about christianity is the whole personal relationship aspect. but why are churches so controling. anyway, i can relate to your son. awana type chruch camps and programs is fun. you meet people and get to sing songs and flirt with the girls. what’s not to like…oh yeah free food. good luck on the touney btw. i think you got it locked up. have have too many supporters.

bloggernoob’s last blog post..Domain Tournament Final Round

zoe Says:

let me start by saying that i voted. i guess i should be lucky that amonte’s rebellion is mild. he could be the teen i was. oh the horror of it all. i had a good friend whose parents were brainwashed by a church like that. it was truly the scariest thing i had ever seen!

zoe’s last blog post..Love me Love me not

witchypoo Says:

BloggerNoob: That’s one of the scary things about these kind of churches. You can’t have a conversation about it because the beliefs of the membership are so cut and dried. They are convinced if you don’t believe as they do, you are for sure going to hell.

witchypoo Says:

Zoe: You’ve heard of the parent’s curse? Where they tell you they hope you have kids exactly like you? There’s always something to be grateful for. If ABB gave me the kind of grief I dished out, I would freak. But, I also know that I didn’t really foster much rebellion, because I valued his input and ability to make choices.

talina Says:

His first church experience seems like all the church experiences I have had.. That sort of thing can really turn you off to it all.

talina’s last blog post..My body hates me- moving is rough!

Synchronicity | Psychicgeek Says:

[...] wrote the post about my younger son, Ass Burger Boy,and his rebellion by way of joining a nutbar church that was [...]