April 12th, 2008 | 18 Comments »

It was wicked good having Torch and the Big V visit me today yesterday. We spent most of our time laughing, which is one of my favourite things to do, and some of the time eating yummy scallops fried in butter, another good thing to do.

When we hung out all the time back in the day, there was a lot of alcohol and weed involved. It was loads of fun, but I didn’t remember everything they talked about. In fact, there was always one of us who had holes in the memories of our exploits. We took turns that way. Torch got the job of babysitting the idiots most often though. I think she did it for the amusement factor. She would crack up at anything. It was infectious.

Torch was also famous for being five feet nuthin and pure fireball when she was mad. I have stories about that for another day. Suffice it to say that sometimes, the Big V and I hid out while she cooled her wrath. Not always easy, being as she knew where we lived and all. The Big V and I were eight inches or so taller than her. Rage trumps size any day.

I want to introduce the Big V properly. Besides being flat out funny, she is an amazing artist, who is always discovering new processes to explore her art. To her, the journey of discovery is more important than the finished product. Also? She’s a wicked good cook, who hates to clean up afterward. She would make an amazing meal, and we would clean up. Good deal all round.

Poor quality image, but note the “official” chef’s hat. That woman is funny, and so creative on many levels.

She was telling us of how her dog would come up to her and whine, as if trying to comfort her. This happened often, and for weeks. Big V finally had a full body scan, where an ovarian cyst, an aortic aneurysm, and another ailment were discovered. After she got taken care of, the dog ceased whining at her. Now when her dog acts like that, she makes an appointment, pronto.

Her doctor asked her what possible operation she had had on the left side of her abdomen. Big V asked if she was sure it wasn’t stretch marks. Doctor was sure. Big V had had no operation on that side.

Big V lives in the area where I had my UFO experience, and she herself, reported lots of sightings.

*cue Twilight Zone music*

It gave Torch goosebumps, and she visibly shivered.

Me? I was the idiot going “Doo doo doo doo” a la Twilight Zone.

As a bonus, I will leave you with the image of Torch and myself, attending what we thought was a 50’s to 70’s themed event. Turned out it was nothing of the kind.

Yeah, we bad.

Posted in The Big V, Torch
April 11th, 2008 | 11 Comments »

Big day today! My buddies Torch and the Big V are on their way to my house this morning.

We were inseparable about thirty years ago. Went on many road trips, had lots of really funny moments, and laughed ourselves sick.

Life kind of nudged us here and there, and we flitted in and out of each other’s lives from time to time.

Last summer, I got to visit Torch at her cottage, and the Big V showed up to complete the circle. It was magical.

I only made three promises for today. I would wear a bra, I would keep my partial plate in, and I would cook them scallops, fried in butter.

Bra |ON|

Teeth |IN|

Scallops |WAITING|

Let the good times roll!

Later: They just left, and I will have to tell the tales another day or later on, I think. It was great fun!

Tags: ,
Posted in Torch, crazy friends
March 4th, 2008 | 17 Comments »

I have several, and most of them involved alcohol. Oh, the good ole days.

When I was much younger, one of the fun things to do with my buddy, Torch, and our other sidekick, the Big V, was to select a different place to terrorize, and head out on a road trip.

On one of these epic journeys, the Big V and I both had the urge to pee at the same time. We were far from any exits or rest areas, and we had some urgency in our situation.

Torch pulled over to the shoulder, and pointed to some woods about 200 yards from the road. We ran, not walked, and even went into the woods a ways so as not to be detected.

There was much sighing of relief and high fiving with unwashed hands. A truimphant return to the car.

Torch was convulsed with laughter.

Torch: “I suppose you thought since you were in the woods that nobody could see you?”

witchypee: “Well, yeah.”

Torch: (howling) “Look. At. The. Treeline. Didn’t you see the cars slowing down to get a look?”

witchypee: “Some very bad words”

We felt hidden in the woods, but the lower branches of the trees were far above our heads.

Public display of communal peeing. Gotta love road trips.

Now, it’s your turn. Tell us your most embarrassing moments. You can always post anonymously if you must. I’m smelling a possible comment of the week here.

November 16th, 2007 | 7 Comments »

Torch is a friend of mine.

She comes for readings once in awhile. I don’t care to read people I know, but hey, she is special.

I seldom remember what I tell people in readings, altered state and all that. Most any stories I would get from clients would be those clients coming to tell me how things I predicted went down.

One reading was especially puzzling to me. I said it looked like she was in hospital, but not really. I just couldn’t figure it out.

She came back to me to tell me what it meant when things went down.

Seems her brother was in hospital. The brother she had donated a kidney to. So, her kidney was in the hospital.

Her brother died a while later. She asked me if I knew what was bothering her, besides the obvious grief.

They buried your kidney?


You wouldn’t really want it back, sweetie; it has boy cooties on it.

I wonder if anyone ever actually reclaimed an organ after the recipient died?