December 7th, 2007 | 12 Comments »

Edit: I have some housekeeping to do on the site, and since it’s a live site, if things look wonky this weekend, check later. I have to make the house and the site pretty for Christmas, so posting, not so much this weekend. You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

I wanted to be very careful about the whole Santa Claus thing with my kids, because I just knew that later? Every lie I ever told would be fodder for their therapy, or worse, their blog.

In that vein, Santa was not a huge deal around my house. All the best prezzies didn’t come from Santa. The stockings did. That way, in a lean year (think: fluctuating finances) they wouldn’t be wondering why they weren’t good enough to get that mongo expensive toy they wanted. Bonus! In a good year, Mom got all the credit for the cool gifts.

Ass Burger Boy confessed recently that he pretended to believe in Santa for a lot longer than he really did. He figured he would get more presents if Santa was still coming to the prezzie party.

Am I the only one who sees the insanity of plunking your sweet baby into the lap of a largely unemployed department store Santa? I mean, just about every little kid howls and screams to get out of there. They know things. They know they don’t trust this smelly man with the bad breath. They certainly don’t want to sit on his lap and risk him getting a woody. I think about these things, and see absolutely no reason to subject a child to the trauma.

When ABB asked to see Santa at a local mall, I told him straight out:”Ass Burger Boy, that isn’t the real Santa. That is somebody the mall hired to dress up like Santa so all the kids would bring their parents to the mall to shop.” ABB totally got it. And I didn’t have to worry that a pervert would get a woody when my darling child sat on his lap.

I ask you now to reconsider when you push your child to sit on a stranger’s knee in order for you to get that photo op. If the child doesn’t want to do it, trust that your child is using his or her innate intuition. Besides, haven’t you been warning them against strangers?

December 6th, 2007 | 13 Comments »

How many of us really trust our own perceptions?
Remember being a little kid, having the time of your life
playing outside?

Yo mama: “Put a sweater on. It’s cold outside.”
You: “But, Mom, I’m not cold.”
Yo mama: “Yes you are. Put a sweater on.”
Thought bubble: “I didn’t think I was cold, but
I must be, because Mom said I was.”

or

You: “I hate my sister.”
Yo mama: “Oh, no, dear, you don’t hate your sister, you love her.”
Thought bubble: “I want her dead.” and “Now I’m confused.”

still another

You: “Mama, a fairy lives in our garden. She is beautiful
and kind, and is my friend.”
Yo mama: “Oh, sweetheart, that’s impossible. It was only
your imagination.”
Thought bubble: “My imagination is worthless and not to be
trusted.”

just one more

You: “Mama, I dreamed that Grandma was alive again.
I was so happy.”
You mama: “Oh, darling, it was only a dream. It wasn’t real”
Thought bubble: “My dreams are irrelevant.”

The upshot of these little scenarios is that we grow up to
mistrust our own perceptions. We do this because our perceptions
are invalidated by the very people we look up to most.
They do this lovingly, but out of ignorance.
We totally buy into it, because they were Gods in our world.

When we trust our perceptions, we welcome our intuitions and
hunches as the gifts they really are.
We go to a different coffee shop “just because” and meet
someone we haven’t seen in ages, someone that gladdens our
hearts, or that we need to have in our life again.
We get the urge to take a different route to work, and discover
later that there was a huge accident on our regular route
that morning. Good thing we weren’t late for that important
meeting!

So, try to let go of the old programming. Trust that your urges
won’t lead you to rack and ruin. In many cases it will keep you safe.

It might also be loads of fun.

My point is that we all have hunches and urges. Few of us act on them because we dismiss them out of hand. We don’t trust what we cannot see.

A lot of people wonder how I do my thing. The truth is, once I am in an altered state, I get all kinds of information that I trust. The difference between myself and many others is that I am confident enough of my information to promptly pass it on to the client.

So, the next time your child says something like “I hate my sister” , do them a huge favour and mirror back to them: “You are angry with your sister.”

This is the greatest gift that you can give to your child’s sense of self. That they can trust their own perceptions.

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