December 1st, 2009 | 13 Comments »

Every once in awhile, my inner pimp emerges, and I arrange for two people to meet, although my inner pimp demands no money. I know. I’d get kicked out of the pimp club if only they knew. (But I continue to send in my membership fees.)

Once the connection is initiated, I step back and figure that grown people can navigate without my help. Excellent policy, if I do say so myself. Besides, I’m hardly nosey. I know A LOT of people’s secrets. And a lot of them, I just don’t care to know, but that’s why they call it work, heh.

I had a conversation with one of the participants of said connection, and I secured permission to share with you. That’s because I love you THAT MUCH, and it’s sometimes fun to share.

witchy says :
i knew her place would be spotless
First Date Guy says :
I figured it would be too
witchy says :
you didn’t take a dump in her place didja?
First Date Guy says :
NO NO NO NO
witchy says :
hahahaha bad first date move
witchy says :
still howling
First Date Guy says :
exactly and I have a nervous stomach
witchy says :
gasping
First Date Guy says :
stopped at TIMS (note: this is a place that serves STRONG coffee) before I got there
LOL
witchy says :
good move!
First Date Guy says :
farting is a bad first date move too
LOL
witchy says :
oh, is it? probably yes
First Date Guy says :
I am pretty sure it is a sign of things to come LOL
like Grammy farting and saying OOOPS>>>>
witchy says :
hah! this part of the convo would make a good blog post!
First Date Guy says :
yes things to NOT do on a first date

There were more, but then we were getting into identifying information. Discretion is my middle name. Really.

Posted in down home
October 15th, 2008 | 13 Comments »

I used to be a great first date. My first husband and I went to a big do where he worked, and we smuggled cafeteria trays out of the cafeteria, and used them to coast down a hill outside. It was summer, but the grass was wet. It was all kinds of fun. Of course, we had smuggled our drinks outside, and going downhill on a cafeteria tray is not the optimum method of getting the liquid on the inside of you, rather than the outside.

Afterwards, we changed into jeans and comfy wear (just like the prom after party) and went for a drive in the country. I thought it might be a good idea to go horseback riding by moonlight. The idea was born as we had stopped to commune with some rather friendly horses in a pasture.

Dang, those horses were tall, but we found a stump to climb aboard from, and away we went, sans saddle, sans bridle, just us and the horses. In the moonlight. Some folks might call that romantic, but we were mainly just laughing. At ourselves.

Ass Burger Boy? Close your eyes now.

But the real reason I was a great first date with my first husband is because I slept with him that night.

Too much information?

Sorry.

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