December 24th, 2007 | 12 Comments »

This card, showing Grammie on a Harley, with my little bro, is one that my family sent for Christmas one year. It was my favourite, and I am sharing it with you to wish you all a goofy, happy, wonderful Christmas.

December 15th, 2007 | 7 Comments »

This is brought to you by way of Laura at I am the Diva She said I could do it instead of the itunes meme. I have another I must do. Memes are for weekends. This is the weekend. Memes or photos, you decide.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?

Paper, and it has to be around a box. I used to wrap in tinfoil with the ribbon making up the pretty, then I went to blank newsprint, with lots of drawings, homemade stamps, and crayola stampers and crazy looking markers.

2. Real or artificial tree?

Artificial. Since I get no freaking help with the tree whatsoever.

3. When do you put up the tree?

Usually Dec 15. this year I wanted a picture for my blog, so it went up last weekend. Alas, the pictures, not so good.

4. When do you take the tree down?

The last day of Christmas. Jan 6. Sadly, my true love does not give me 12 gifts. Or any.

5. Do you like Eggnog? It’s bearable with nutmeg and lots of spiced rum.
6. Favorite Gift you received as a child?

A toy chest my father made me, and doll clothes my mother made me. I was so amazed that my doll had a dress just like the one my sister used to have.

7. Do you have a nativity scene?

It’s one that an artist friend made, and I added to.

8. Hardest person to buy for?

One of my dearest childhood friends. He insists on a prezzie being consumable, or meaningful. The guy has everything he wants.

9. Easiest person to buy for?

Me! Because I know exactly what I want. And the right size and colour. Hint: Money is always the right size and colour.

10. Worst Christmas gift ever received?

A pair of hunting boots my father wrapped and addressed to me when I was 16, and All. I. Asked. For. was a pair of knee high leather boots that were all the rage that year.

11. Christmas Cards…Snail mail or E-mail?

Lately, I have been doing up PowerPoint cards. Saves that pesky postage thing.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?

Call me crazy, but I always liked a Charlie Brown Christmas. The tree always got me.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

When I have money I shop. Really, though, I prefer to give gifts out of the blue, just because.

14. Have you ever ‘recycled’ a Christmas present?

I always have some stuff that was given to me that I knew I would never use/display. I keep them handy for last minute people I forgot to buy for, or who any kind of thought would brighten their day. Don’t hate me, I can’t bear to just throw these things away.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?

My English Toffee, since Grammie won’t be making her famous mincemeat pie with real venison anymore.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?

I had to buy new lights recently, so I went clear. Much easier to replace. Come to think of it, they are soulless looking git.

17. Favorite Christmas Song?

I know it’s dumb, but I can’t get Brenda Lee’s “Rockin Around the Christmas Tree” out of my head at Christmas time.
18. Travel at Christmas or Stay Home?

Stay home. Family is complicated.
19. Can you name Santa’s Reindeer?

Yup. However, there isn’t really much demand for that skill.
20. Do you have an Angel or a Star on top of your tree?

Angel, all the way. And I like the story of how the angel got on top of the tree.

21. Open the Presents Christmas Eve or Morning?

Presents Christmas Eve, stockings in the morning. Now that Ass Burger Boy is older. Much older.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?

Tv really sucks now. I don’t shop much.

23. Shopping…Mall or on-line?

I like the artists at the Farmer’s Market. I love artists. And everything else is online now. I hate shopping. Even for groceries. I mean, you buy all this food, then you have to buy toilet paper to deal with the results. Does it never end?
24. Do you decorate outside for Christmas or just inside (or at all?)

Nothing outside, deck the friggin halls inside. The mantle has garlands, the stockings are hung by the chimney with care.

25. Favorite Christmas cookie?

Boring. Shortbread. I love to make them. They look so tiny and tidy. I also make killer gourmet quality chocolate chip cookies and most excellent English Toffee.

26. Do you own Christmassy clothing or jewelry?

No. Never have, never will. I’m dorky enough.
27. Do you believe in Santa?

Of course I do. I *am* Santa.

28. Favorite ornament:

A macaroni angel. Made by Ass Burger Boy. I love homemade shytte.

Posted in Grammie, bloggy things
December 10th, 2007 | 11 Comments »

My sister has a friend that I always remember two ways: her excellent stories, and by a lasting visual image of her.

It is around this time of year, long before most of you were born. I’m at my sister’s apartment, and down the hall we hear quite a commotion. We rush to her friend’s door, and holler “Are you okay?” We are answered with a laughing “Ye-e-ess”, and then a giggled “Come in. I might need help.”

Inside, in all of her glory, is my sister’s friend. Flat on her back, unable to move. Why? The christmas tree has fallen on her. And she is shaking with laughter.

It’s so burned into my memory it could be a cartoon.

This is the same woman who objected to the roast her mother was thawing because she saw the blood. Her mother indignantly said: “That’s not blood. That’s MEAT JUICE.”If that weren’t enough, meat juice girl grew up to work in a supermarket. You guessed it. The meat department. There was a big spill of blood, and it made the floor slippery and hazardous. Another employee warned her to avoid the pool of blood.

What did she say?

Why yes, she said “That’s not blood. It’s meat juice!”

She was 20 years old at the time, and still blushes when she recounts the incident in the meat department.

I hope you are like me and remember a laughing friend every time you thaw a roast.

November 15th, 2007 | 14 Comments »


You might think that this photo is more proof (after yesterday’s post) that I hate cats.

It happened that I had nothing to say yesterday. Couldn’t tell my stories the way I wanted to.

I submit to you a photo from my sister-in-law. Proof that it isn’t safe to leave animals, kids, and Christmas decorations unattended.

Don’t show your kids. They will get evil ideas.