My younger son, Ass Burger Boy, has made it his mission early in life to find out who he really is. I’m not sure if this is peculiar to him or to Asperger’s Syndrome.
His journey has taken some interesting turns, to say the least.
When he was about nine years old, he was fascinated with black people.
He talked black, he walked black. He did what he could to gather information. He wanted to know about black people on a personal level. This, of course, means engaging in conversation. His conversation skills are noteworthy in that he is articulate, but needs polish.
Every black person he saw, he struck up a conversation with, beginning with the ice-breaker: “I see that you are black.” What? What does a person answer to that? “Good eye, Ass Burger Boy.”????
We live in an area where there is some racial tension. I’m sad about this, but it is a fact of life here. I felt it necessary to advise him that some people might interpret his opening gambit as round one of a fight.
He takes everything literally.
ABB was at my mom’s when I brought a lovely new acquaintance with me for lunch.
ABB, always the social butterfly who Must.Dominate.Every.Freaking.Conversation. gives his dazzling conversation skills his new opening: “I see that you are not black.”
Except that she was.
I lost a potential friend that day because I didn’t have the chops to explain how this whole situation came about.
A few years after that, he became a Back Street Boy. Wore white all the time. Sang all the songs. Attended his prom dressed in white.
Now he thinks he’s Greek. That might be funny if it weren’t true. He switched to the Greek Orthodox Church, serves on the altar, is learning the language, and dreams of living on the Greek Islands.
My wish is that he will discover that who he is can be just fine, without assuming an identity. So far, he’s not buying it.
Whoever said that children don’t come with a manual was so not kidding.
Shameless self-promotion: Show me some freaking love. Go on, vote. You know you wanna. You have to register first, but you will make me very happy. Check your junk mail folder for the registration confirmation. Oh, and if it says voting is closed? It is for 2007, but this award is for 2008.
