January 27th, 2008 | 29 Comments »

I was reading this post (freaking hilarious!) about colon hydrotherapy, which brought back memories of my own sessions. I was preparing for a group initiation into the energies of the Archangel Michael, and I wanted my body to be the clearest vessel possible.

What basically happens in this series of procedures is that the therapist slides a well lubed tube thingie into your backside. It has a device to connect two tubes on the outside, one for water going in to flush the system, the other for expelled matter.

Here’s the thing. I firmly believe that your backside is designed for egress, not ingress. In other words, nothing should be going in. I knew that these procedures would give me health benefits, but had a hard time getting past the method. So I paid in advance for the first four appointments. If I hadn’t paid up front for work down back, I probably wouldn’t have showed. I noticed results after that, so I showed up regularly.

The therapist was very shy, and spiritual. I expected she had heard all the jokes about what a crappy job she had, but I was determined to brighten her life with new ones. Because really? That’s just the kind of lovely person I am, making a shy woman squirm while I tell poop and fart jokes. No, you can’t reward me. I took down the donate button. Well, you could vote for me, or subscribe to my feed. I’m reliving awkward moments here, people. I can’t hear your applause, but I can see the numbers.

I used deep breathing techniques to allow the water maximum room to flush, and to alleviate the cramping that results from toxins being stirred up prior to expulsion. The toxins made me feel nauseous, but not throw up nausea, it was more in my bowel. I felt it a little with each flush. What I find funny is that my Grammie always called the indoor toilet the flush. Because she vividly remembers the other kind that did not flush.

What fascinated me most besides the bits of corn, turds, and recognizable food sloshing by in the egress tube, were the enormous air bubbles coming out the tube into the sealed container (so it wouldn’t offend your olfactory sensibilities). These things reminded me of the bubbles you get by dipping a broom handle with an attached loop into a bucket of detergent. They were That.Large. I had visions of little kids dancing in meadows, making bubbles of my farts.

I wanted to know how she could possibly deprive my family of such treasures. After all, Dances with Shrapnel had christened me Methane Mom. I had a lot to live up to. She made a choking sound, which passed for laughter masked by embarrassment. There was no getting this woman to laugh.

She was, however, very interested in the Archangel Michael group activation I was holding, and attended. She also came regularly to my group meditations/pot luck gatherings.

I often wondered if she could see those enormous fart bubbles in her mind’s eye when I was leading a meditation.

I never got a real belly laugh out of her. Doesn’t she know that poop is funny?

November 28th, 2007 | 7 Comments »

I was born very near the feeding grounds of many large whales, at a time of year just before they head there in large numbers. I have always had a deep affinity for whales, but the finback, the finback whale is really special to me.

Only the blue whale is larger. The fin isn’t the showiest when it surfaces because it is a whale that doesn’t show it’s tail. If you saw one, you so wouldn’t care about the tail. These animals have presence. They are sentient beings. They know things. And the sheer size of them is astounding.

two finbacks up close and personal

The one on the left? Fixing to dive under the boat. Thrilling.

The first whale watch I went on, I called the whale to me. We only saw a minke that day, but it surfaced right beside where I sat. Hardly anyone else saw it. I’m certain it heard my call, and came to investigate.

If you get the opportunity to go on a whale watch tour, jump on it! Best time for sailing is the earlier tours, around 10 am, before the wind and the chop comes up.

Whale has visited me in other ways as well, in the dreamtime.

Not too long ago, I lived on a cliff, overlooking the ocean. I dreamed a staircase of ice, leading from the ocean up to my bed. Swimming under the ice of the staircase was a procession of finbacks, each coming to me to share knowledge, then swimming back down. This event was another activation, an awakening of memories that I didn’t realize I had. Sort of like “I knew that. I just didn’t know I knew it until now.”

Soon after, I began to notice the clocks around me when they were at 11:11. One clock actually stopped at 11:11. I began to hook up with other healers in the early days of the internet, on IRC. We shared energy, and worked together to heal people and situations in the world, this world which suddenly became much smaller.

This dream was a precursor to the 11:11 activation, which was an initiation into the energies of the Archangel Michael. And then, all heaven broke loose.

But that is a tale for another day.

Posted in critters, dreams
November 5th, 2007 | 4 Comments »

Just Beachy asked me what a psychic healer does.
After sending her to my About page, I decided to write my first post about some aspects of my practice. Go ahead, read the About page. I’ve got all day.

I want to create an analogy here, so bear with me. Picture the solar system, then picture an atom, with its nucleus and electrons whizzing around every which way, and at different frequencies. As above, so below, and all that. If I put your hand under a seemingly solid table, then put my own above it while channelling energy, you would be able to feel it. That’s because so-called “solid” objects have a slower frequency than ours. It comes in handy if we want to sit on a chair or something. But remember the vast, solar system like expanses that make up the atoms. Energy can easily move through them, and it is not diminished by geographical distance.

If you think that your soul is in you, consider instead that you are in your soul. As Kahlil Gibran says in “The Prophet”, ” you should not say ‘God is in my heart,’ but rather,’I am in the heart of God”. Couldn’t have said it better myself.

We are all energy constructs. Our frequencies may vary, but truly, we are all one. When I connect with someone, I resonate to their energy, setting up similar vibrations in my energy field. I can then kind of feel you inside of your skin, and if you are in pain, I usually feel that. I feel for energy blockages. Sometimes I see them as well.

While I am doing this, I am connected to my healing guides, and my go-to guide, the Archangel Michael. I know that Raphael is the official Archangel of healing, but well, I was attuned to Michael, and I can easily channel that energy. The healing does not come from
me, it comes through me. I fill myself up with all that yummy love, and direct it from my heart chakra to the recipient. It works pretty much the same way as prayer does, except that I am more aware of the process. Like prayer, you become in a state of perfect peace and grace. Love is like that.

Sometimes my toning and chanting guides call upon me to produce certain sounds, sometimes my healing drum is called for. It’s all good.

This is the usual procedure for distance healing. In person, I attune the client myself to the energy of the Archangel Michael, and put my hands upon them to channel the energy directly, clearing their chakras. It is always a beautiful experience, because love just feels so wonderful.

This stuff is so much a part of my practice that I hope it isn’t too much jargon speak for you. Google “chakras” if you aren’t down with the term.

Any questions?