August 8th, 2008

Seems like there is a gathering of the clan going on this weekend. My clan. The ones who dubbed me witchypoo in the first place. Not the Tool of Satan bunch. That would be the uber religious sector of the clan. They don’t party. Certainly not with fireworks. Because they’re all religious and all and don’t believe in fun. They figger they’ll have plenty of time for fun in heaven.

Mildly amusing OCD stepmother (MAOCDSM) is not exactly hosting the gathering, because she can hardly do much of anything what with her recent double mastectomy and all. Everyone is gathering nearby to pop in on her and see that she is well cared for, but careful she doesn’t get too tired.

My pyromaniac little brother channels his obsession into the socially acceptable activity of lighting the fireworks. He reminded me that I had started the whole thing at a family beach gathering years ago. I had supplied the fireworks, but had no clue what to do with them. Thankfully, nobody said bend over when I mentioned this, and Pyro Bro saved the day. Since then, he has perfected his technique and added to the array of pyrotechnics, making a more elaborate display each year.

Next morning: The fireworks were ooh and ahh worthy indeed. The little kids were thrilled, and were such a treat to interact with.

We took pictures of the three titty-do’s (that’s when your belly stick out further than your titty do) all for different reasons. WildChild was pregnant with twins, MAOCDSM had her boobies removed, and my belly has protruded out past the titties when I’m not wearing a bra. Then we put Pyro Bro in the picture for three titty-do’s and a dickey-do. You figure it out.

I retired to the camper, as it was very hot in the house. I didn’t awaken when Pyro Bro took MAOCDSM to the emergency room.

Seems that she who never farts (MAOCDSM) was so full of gas, she thought that she must be having a serious post operation complication.

I asked her if the doctor had prescribed a liberal dose of “pull my finger”.

This entry was posted on Friday, August 8th, 2008 at 8:42 am and is filed under Wild Child, down home, rellies. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

25 Responses to “Rolling with the Rellies”

Karen Says:

You are such a hoot! Pull my finger! My hubby loves to use that one. How in the heck can someone not know they need to fart???

Karens last blog post..Breakfast Indigestion, Anyone?

lceel Says:

Ah. She needs a script for ‘Beano’. I love that stuff. Because when you DO fart on that stuff, they. are. killers.

lceels last blog post..Haiku Friday and stuff

Memarie Lane Says:

LOL I’d heard of a dicky-do but never a titty-do. I’m definitely a titty-do at the moment.

teeni Says:

Aw, so sorry that SAOCDSM had to undergo a double mastectomy. Very scary. LOL@ She Who Never Farts. I guess a little anal retentiveness goes along with OCD?

Well, at least you can’t say it isn’t interesting when the family gets together. I was relieved to hear nobody was injured even though fireworks were involved. ;)

Ree Says:

I’m scared to death of fireworks, but I love them. And what DID the Dr prescribe for your poor SAOCDSM?

Monica Says:

My little bro is a closet pyro too! He lit the babysitters backyard fence on fire – thus being kicked out and I had the babysit the booger.


Your posts always have me giggling… thank you for your wonderful words!

Would love to go to a party with you!

Monicas last blog post..I’m Speaking Jibberish

schmutzie Says:

You are being featured on Five Star Friday:

schmutzies last blog post..Twenty-Five Things I’ve Actually Stolen could not add cached callYou have an error in your SQL syntax; check the manual that corresponds to your MySQL server version for the right syntax to use near ‘ve Actually Stolen’,'′)’ at line 1

warriorwoman Says:

“pull my finger” – you are such a shit disturber.

warriorwomans last blog long does it take?

Angella Says:

“Pull my finger” is a classic…

daysgoby Says:

Sounds like things are prit’near normal where you are, then….

I took off word verification, just to make you comment more!

(at least until the crackpots and spamheads find me…)

daysgobys last blog post..mobility

Goddess in the Groove Says:


I wish you would post the titty-do dickey-do photo :) .

Goddess in the Grooves last blog post..House Zen-Show me the Money, or keep me from going INSANE!

Krissa Says:

Oh, my, Witchypoo, you never disappoint. And, apparently, you come by this naturally. Your family sounds like a hoot! Glad you had such a nice time, it was fun hearing about it!
I’ve decided that the only thing to do about my titty do is have my titties made bigger cause, apparently, my belly isn’t going anywhere.

Krissas last blog post..I’ve been memed…But, not yet maimed!

Ree Says:

I need to test something honey. Someone said I was banned from commentluv!

Kelley Says:

Bwaaaaa haaaaa haaaaaaaa!

I love a good fart joke.

Hope she isn’t in pain anymore and everyone is down wind.

Kelleys last blog post..if money was no object

Amanda Says:

I went to a psychic last weekend and she told me I need to go back to school and finish some degree and that I need to help people. Fuck helping people! I want a new psychic reading now!

Amandas last blog post..What catches my eye

Loralee Says:

That has been the main problem with my religion. Why on earth would I want to go to the same heaven as some of the tight assess that surround me here?

Party in the basement, is how I’m thinking, I guess.

Loralees last blog post..Sideblog:WTF?

Jenny Says:

Add me to the titty-do roster! Well, unless I lean over.

Jennys last blog post..On Learning About Insurance Policies

Old Knudsen Says:

a double mastectomy fffuuucccckkkkkkk! do they leave the nipples on? just asking as i have no experience with this except gurlyboys.

Glad you had a good time except for the ER as they are never good times, remember better out than in.

Old Knudsens last blog post..Monks Need Broadband

Marie in Maine Says:

I vowed a long time ago that I would never take a vacation with my rellies again, after being cooped up with them in a cabin in the woods. The kids were so bored that my sister invented a game called “penny a butt.” We adults would flick our cig butts onto the grass from the deck in the evening, and the next morning, we’d give a penny for each butt the kids picked up.

Sounds gross but it kept them occupied and cleaned up the lawn of our rental cabin.

My brother’s are also pyros, and I have learned to stand waaaay back when they are lighting bonfires, as they favor gasoline for starting them. That’s the kind of gas you want to stay away from!

Marie in Maines last blog post..Dining in the Old Port

ALF Says:

Sounds like you’re having all kinds of fun over there.

Marti Says:

I am LMAO over here. A titty do. Love it!

Dean Saliba Says:

I shall be sending you the bill for me spitting my coffee over my computer whilst reading your blog! :)

Talina Says:

I could be in the titty-do photo, my stomach is not that big but my boobies are small!

Oh my, did you really just say “pull my finger”? Ha!

Kailani Says:

I bet MAOCDSM must have been pretty embarrassed to find out the real cause of the problem! LOL!

Kailanis last blog post..WW: Ready for My Bath

Nan Says:

Oh, Lordy! My very religious Great Aunt Irma used to describe people “MY dear, that girl, she is going to heaven like a ROCKET.” And as a child I used to hope that I wouldn’t end up THERE because if Aunt Irma and her cronies were there, It couldn’t be much fun! Definitely No Farting Allowed in Heaven! Fortunately, the very religious side of the family kept mostly to themselves, and contented themselves with praying for our souls.

Nans last blog post..Adventure!