March 27th, 2009

Redneck Mommy is on a road trip. A six hour trip with three kids and no husband.

Amateur.

I’ll bet she has one of those roomy suv thingies with dvd players.

I travelled from the west to the east coast of Canada with my family. In a hillman station wagon, which, I believe, is now extinct.

Photo found here.

So? I’m old. Get over it. My point is that there were four kids in the one back seat. Of a tiny car. With very cranky parents, who were on the verge of killing one another and their children divorce.

Of course, we want to travel cross country under those circumstances. Who wouldn’t?

When there was fighting or any disruption whatsoever from the back seat, Dad didn’t even look. He just back-handed a wallop, and whoever was in the way got it.

I very shrewdly made it my business to sit directly behind him, out of reach. I was smarter than my siblings.

Many times, the trip was boring, boring, boring. From my relatively bullet-proof position, I would bug my siblings. Maybe poke them, anything to annoy. I was inconsolable. Elvis had been drafted into the army. Anything to take my mind off my grief.

Tanis? Be very grateful you didn’t have my eight-year-old bad self in your backseat.

Enjoy your trip.

Lightweight.

Snicker.

UPDATE: I saw on twitter that Redneck Mommy’s husband had been gassed at the workplace. He’s in critical condition in the hospital in Edmonton.

Anybody have kind thoughts, prayers, healing energy, please send them Tanis and Boo’s way.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 27th, 2009 at 3:50 pm and is filed under stories from the olden days. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

10 Responses to “Redneck Mommy is an amateur.”

Linda Says:

Totally love roadtrips, as a kid and now. We drove from California to Ottawa one year. La la loved it.

However we were in a camper and it was just the two of us so I don’t remember anything except wanting stop to pee.

Taking MY boys anywhere was a different story, the monsters. I found dimetap a wonderful answer to long trips. Of course dimetap doesn’t pack the same punch it used to. I’ll bet valium woould work just as well.

Lindas last blog post..Who Knew?

iamthediva Says:

they just don’t make roadtrips like they used to.

iamthedivas last blog post..Grace in Small Things: #15

Ree Says:

I remember crying uncontrollably on road trips. Oh wait. It was because I was stuck in a car with Practice going across the entire state of Ohio 12 times/year because he couldn’t go a single month without seeing his mama.

Rees last blog post..Haiku Friday – The Fourth Estate

Hyphen Mama Says:

Oh yuck! Our road trips were 4 of us crammed into a 2 door coupe, both parents chain smoking in the front seat, my brother and I fighting over the teeny-tiny back seat for 10 hours a day and who got the one etch-a-sketch.

But when my mom and I would travel together it was great. We’d sing to the 8 track and she’d crack a window to let the smoke out. We had a good thing going on. Too bad that didn’t happen more often.

NOW? I’m the driver. And I stop to pee when the little people in the back seat say they have to go.

Hyphen Mamas last blog post..Completely Embarrassing Parenting Moment #94654

Krissa Says:

Well, yes. It would be hard to top that. I remember living in Louisiana for part of my childhood and traveling back and forth to Texas where all of our family was, numerous times a year. We did this more than once in the back of a pickup with a shell camper on top. Apparently my favorite past time was banging on the tiny window at the front of it until one of my parents would turn around and I would mouth the words, “How much longer?” Once I did this until I came damn near getting a whipping. They had no sympathy for how boring passing time was back there with a brother that was 8 years younger.

Krissas last blog post..Not toooo random…just varied.

Angella Says:

Uh oh. I hope you and Tanis don;t get in a smackdown ;)

Angellas last blog post..1-800-Luv-Beer

warriorwoman Says:

we didn’t do road trips – we didn’t have a car.

we did have a boat so I guess we did boat trips.

there was always lots of room.

my brother was the asshole bully but he couldn’t swim, so there weren’t many fights picked with me.

warriorwomans last blog post..warriorwitch and the gym

lceel Says:

You must be my sister’s evil twin.

lceels last blog post..As promised

zoe Says:

i’ll pray for her.

Judi Says:

How sad about her husband, sent up prayers. I don’t ever remember going on a vacation or road trip as a kid, but with six of us (me being the youngest) either I was to young or there were to many of us to fit in the car? Now we have onve of those SUV thingies with the DVD and well you would think that would settle things down, but now my two argue over what movie, how loud, extra noise, etc…I think kids in back seats are just “made to argue. Also, you would not have worked in our car, because I am the turn around and slap you one, so I CAN reach all areas of the back seat, and you would have been the first one I reached for….the instigator!

Judis last blog post..Sweet Chicken Clucker