January 17th, 2010 | 8 Comments »

I was on a lengthy phone call last night with one of my twin cousins. At one point in the convo,she told me that her twin sister was playing with the Ouija Board, and had a message for me.

The message? Was from my first puppy love boyfriend, Horny McSlutty The content of the message was that he was sorry for the way he had treated me.

Twin cuz was a bit startled by my response. Because I totally cracked up.

She only got the funny when I described the picture in my head of the long line of women that this boy had to contact from the spirit realm to apologize to. I just figured he’d be wicked busy for quite some time.

I did an obit search and didn’t find his death announcement. Frankly, there’s a few other people I would like to get an apology from for the way they have treated me. This one? It’s a non-issue. I’m so over it.

January 12th, 2010 | 8 Comments »

Island folk have their own mystique. They are leery of outsiders, and often have strange names for them. We have two island provinces in Canada, and the larger one has such a unique culture that the rest of the provinces poke fun at its people.

“Newfies” are your basic, salt of the earth, hard working people. For the most part. I can always spot a Newfie woman, certainly by her charming dialect, but more so by the content of her conversation. When a woman lists off how many floors she scrubbed today, how many loaves of bread she baked, who she gave them to, and a whole list of chores she has performed, you can safely bet that she’s old school Newf.

Children of old school Newfie women have tightly braided hair, their starched dresses as spotless as the houses they live in. I got a sense of what it might be like to be on the receiving end of this work ethic when I had my hair done in Newfoundland. The stylist, not lazy by a long shot, really put her back into the ordeal procedure. There was more yanking and pulling of hair than I had ever experienced.Did I mention it was my hair that was being yanked?

I asked the stylist if that was how her mother did her hair. Duh. I already knew the answer. It behooved me to explain that a customer might go to a salon for some pampering. You know? A pain-free experience?

Her position was that Newfie women came to her to get the nostalgic Mom experience. “It’s how we always does it, missus.”

Who was I to argue? I was a “come from away”.

I think she was pissed that I didn’t tip her. Because really? Her shop was the cleanest I’ve been in.

Posted in down home
December 28th, 2009 | 12 Comments »

This holiday season, I did most of my shopping without going into an actual store. Most. Stocking stuffers require one to hold actual merchandise and pay for it with cash type of money or debit.

I have a friend in Maine, and she agreed to allow my orders to ship (free!) to her, and she would ship those orders on to me. I would pay the postage from Maine to here.

She’s also a twitter friend, and when I opened my twitter feed one day in November, found an excited tweet from her. Seems it was her birthday, and some secret admirer has sent her a copy of the The Pioneer Woman Cooks as a birthday surprise.

I had ordered the book for a local foodie friend for Christmas, because although she has gluten and dairy issues, she loves herself a cookbook. In fact, she has many of them, and now adapts her recipes.

I couldn’t yank her birthday surprise out from under her, because why would I even do that? So I looked to a local artist to order a replacement gift. Only, guess what? The replacement gift didn’t arrive in time. The lovely artist, Shelagh Duffet, offered one of her prints (free!) so I would have something to present on the big day.

I agreed, with the proviso that she sign the print thusly: “Shelagh Duffet, Famous International Artist Who Lives Nearby”, which she agreed to do. I armed myself with a boatload of hand sanitizer to meet up with her in a newly opened cafe, where we had a lovely chat and sampled the goodies from the cafe. The lemon scones made me all happy in my mouth. The conversation made me happy in the brain, and all was right with the world.

When I presented my friend with her prezzie, I told her the story, and she agreed, it was pretty funny.

But? There’s still a space on her kitchen bookshelf where a certain cookbook needs to reside. And? It’s on sale at a ridiculous price now.

Posted in down home, fustercluck
December 14th, 2009 | 10 Comments »

Grace In Small Things is the brainchild of the awesome Schmutzie, who devised it as a way to battle embitterment, and immediately shared it with the internet. Thank you, Schmutzie!

  • New Christmas lights.
  • Online shopping
December 1st, 2009 | 13 Comments »

Every once in awhile, my inner pimp emerges, and I arrange for two people to meet, although my inner pimp demands no money. I know. I’d get kicked out of the pimp club if only they knew. (But I continue to send in my membership fees.)

Once the connection is initiated, I step back and figure that grown people can navigate without my help. Excellent policy, if I do say so myself. Besides, I’m hardly nosey. I know A LOT of people’s secrets. And a lot of them, I just don’t care to know, but that’s why they call it work, heh.

I had a conversation with one of the participants of said connection, and I secured permission to share with you. That’s because I love you THAT MUCH, and it’s sometimes fun to share.

witchy says :
i knew her place would be spotless
First Date Guy says :
I figured it would be too
witchy says :
you didn’t take a dump in her place didja?
First Date Guy says :
NO NO NO NO
witchy says :
hahahaha bad first date move
witchy says :
still howling
First Date Guy says :
exactly and I have a nervous stomach
witchy says :
gasping
First Date Guy says :
stopped at TIMS (note: this is a place that serves STRONG coffee) before I got there
LOL
witchy says :
good move!
First Date Guy says :
farting is a bad first date move too
LOL
witchy says :
oh, is it? probably yes
First Date Guy says :
I am pretty sure it is a sign of things to come LOL
like Grammy farting and saying OOOPS>>>>
witchy says :
hah! this part of the convo would make a good blog post!
First Date Guy says :
yes things to NOT do on a first date

There were more, but then we were getting into identifying information. Discretion is my middle name. Really.

Posted in down home