100 Things About Me

Finally! I have reached my 100th post, and here is the complete list. Don’t hurt yourself reading it.

1. I’m not getting any younger.

2. Black coffee is the answer. What is the question?

3. I used to be a clean freak.

4. Being a clean freak made me allergic to household chemicals.

5. I clean far, far less now.

6. I think I am in love with my dishwasher.

7. At age nine, Ass Burger Boy told me he would always live with me.

8. He’s still here.

9. I have been married twice.

10. I still love my first husband.

11. I like black licorice. Back off. This is not a character flaw. I’m old, okay? We didn’t have much candy in the olden days.

12. I have broken two toilets in my life by sitting on them wrong.

13. I was rather skinny each time.

14. I miss being skinny. Maybe not enough to deprive myself.

15. Flannel jammies make me happy.

16. Ditto goofy slippers.

17. As soon as I get back in the house, I put on my jammies.

18. I would like to have a bed and breakfast.

19. My mom died in 2005.

20. It still chokes me up. I miss her like crazy.

21. Even though I often hear her talking in my head.

22. Mostly she is making fun of me. It’s normal.

23. I graduated with honours from geek school the year Mom died.

24. Nobody wanted to hire a geezer geek.

25. My instructors wanted to work for me.

26. The crunchy peanut butter is my favourite.

27. Never mix it with jam. Only bananas. It’s good on its own too.

28. I have huge feet. I’d be much taller if I weren’t turned up at the end.

29. I’m somewhat of a hermit. Only go out when I must.

30. I have an inspiration corner where my computer is.

31. Inspiration is a suggestion, not a command.

32. I’ve forgotten how to spell and punctuate properly.

33. I’m mostly polite.

34. I once told ABB* that I dropped him on his head.

35. I was messing with him.

36. I didn’t tell him the difference.

37. My punctuation is atrocious. I’m old. Back off, okay?

38. My best friend for over 40 years does not want to be on my blog.

39. I dream about whales sometimes.

40. This list is harder than I thought it would be.

41. My favourite drink besides black coffee is coconut rum.

42. There are twins in my family.

43. I am a gemini. My twin must have died in the womb.

44. I never feel lonely. Gemini.

45. I was shopping for pajamas today, but bought a sweater instead.

46. Don’t hold this against me. I still love pajamas.

47. When I have to use the bathroom, I change my nick to witchypee.

48. I often laugh at my own jokes.

49. It’s because I hear them for the first time as I am saying them.

50. I am half-way there.

51. My mom favoured the girls in my family.

52. My father favoured the boys.

53. My mom is dead; I am so screwed now.

54. I have vowed to never go to another family funeral since mom died.

55. I have already warned my old relatives of this.

56. I have been on television many times.

57. I was one of seven psychics picked for a documentary about us.

58. I once wore a burqua for a photoshoot.

59. A lot of my clients have become friends.

60. I have more rocks and crystals in my house than a body can carry without lots of help.

61. I have two crystal balls. I don’t use them for scrying.

62. There is a rock with the word “believe” on the windowsill above my computer.

63. There are also pictures of the things I hope to win with the $100 lottery ticket I bought.

64. I know a lot of artists. I often see the direction their work will go next.

65. They seldom believe me until they start doing it.

66. I have a good recipe for ice cubes.

67. I like to cook big batches of food and freeze extra for lazy days.

68. Every once in a while, I declare supper “fend for yourself” day.

69. When I’m bored, I like to mess with ABB’s head by changing the tp roll from an innie to an outie. Then I wait to see how long it takes him to put it back “the right way”

70. I saw a mouse in the bathroom a few days ago. I haven’t showered since.

71. I seldom follow recipes. I like to improvise.

72. I cannot sleep on an airplane, or any public place.

73. When menopause kicked in, I stopped having imaginary boyfriends.

74. Now I have imaginary grandbabies.

77. And I fear having made no imprint on this planet with my bad self.

78. The unknown does not frighten me.

79. Nutbar religions frighten me. And their nutbar congregations.

80. I always make eye contact with panhandlers, even if I don’t donate.

81. I feel it is important to acknowledge that they are human in my eyes.

82. I suspect they give me the finger when I walk past without donating.

83. I am 1/8 Native Canadian by blood. Passamaquoddy tribe.

84. My family was ashamed and rejected this heritage.

85. I was always strongly drawn to Native spirituality.

86. My grammie is my favourite living rellie, other than my sons.

87. I can remember things that happened when I was very, very young.

88. Some of them were very bad things.

89. I don’t remember a hug from my parents when I was a kid.

90. I use a pendulum for gambling. I almost always win.

91. I don’t gamble much. It feels like cheating somehow.

92. I hate going anywhere that requires me to wear a bra.

93. I smoked weed, but not until my brain had formed (age 24)

94. My friends marvelled that I didn’t do drugs because I was so off the wall with my badarse, twisted sense of humour.

95. I used to have a collection of pens and marker.

96. ABB demolished it by taking some into the black hole that is his room.

97. Psychics have big egos. They are used to being right.

98. Family members do not appreciate this quality.

99. When ABB accuses me of reading his mind, I say “It’s a mom thing.”

100.* ABB is Ass Burger Boy