April 10th, 2008

My dear friend, Skinny Bitch, loves money. She loves to instill values of money in her children. To do this she does not just grant them their every wish, oh, no, she does not.

She tells them that until they have a job, they are poor. Their parents money is not their money. Makes sense to me in a Bill Cosby sort of way.

She is also a tad perverse with her parenting. She likes to mess with their heads a bit. Says it will make them stronger, but I know her, she does it because it’s fun.

One time, when Heartstopper was about six, Skinny Bitch sat her and George down and said she had sad news for them. Shaking her head sadly, she announced:

“I don’t think we can afford summer this year.”

Heartstopper, who loves summer every bit as much as her mother does, was stunned, and a tiny bit heartbroken.

“Can we go to the beach once?”

Her mother sighed, and looked like she was thinking hard to find a way to go to the beach under the unbearable burden of being unable to afford summer.

“We’ll have to wait and see.”

Oh, that pesky summer, and it having to cost so much to enjoy the warmth as you play outside.

Perverse parenting. She’s the master.

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 10th, 2008 at 9:29 am and is filed under Skinny Bitch. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

24 Responses to “More Perverse Parenting”

iamthediva Says:

oh my god, that is brilliant!! BRILLIANT! i may have to take a few parenting lessons from Skinny Bitch. i love that – until you have a job, you’re poor. great. :D

lceel Says:

Is it too late to go back and start over? It’s like the old saying – We get too soon old and too late smart.

lceel’s last blog post..Word For Wednesday is frosted

Jenny Says:

I LOVE SKINNY BITCH! She is all that I aspire to be!

You sure you can’t talk SB into a Perverse Parenting blog? I’d send her oodles of love.

Jenny’s last blog post..Pet Peeve Thursday–The Tax Edition

ABB Says:

skinnybitch and blogging, yeah like that’s gonna happen. She is barely computer literate. Maybe if mom taught her how and George let her use his computer…

Mylifeasmomma Says:

I just love Skinny Bitch stories!And she is right – you are poor until you get your first job.
Love it!

Mylifeasmomma’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen

warriorwoman Says:

were her kids really that gullible?

warriorwoman’s last blog post..who are they?

Slyde Says:

wow! cancelling summer! Thats a harsh one…

Memarie Lane Says:

My FIL was like that. There’s a place out in the middle of the desert in SoCal called Cadiz. Once my FIL told his kids he was taking them to Cadisneyland, and they got all excited. Drove them all the way out there, a 3-4 hour drive, just to hear them cry when they realized it was not the Happiest Place on Earth. But somehow Brad thinks it was funny, so maybe it did make him stronger.

Memarie Lane’s last blog post..Public Notice

teeni Says:

How does she think of these things? The woman has a great brain, I tell you.

teeni’s last blog post..I’m Less Than Three’d

Ree Says:

She needs to write a parenting book.

Ree’s last blog post..I Haven’t Closed a Bar

Mary Says:

Skinny Bitch is a genius!!!

Just Beachy Says:

sadly, I cant afford summer either, which sadly is no joke. Me likes skinny bitch :)

Just Beachy’s last blog post..Maybe I Should Order These?

Veronica Says:

I love her philosophies about money!

Veronica’s last blog post..What?! It’s Educational!

talina Says:

That is very creative, “we can’t afford summer”! I wonder if these sorts of statements make the kids want to chip in more and try to help the situation… Hm.

talina’s last blog post..Let the madness begin!

Old Knudsen Says:

I read her book, “How to make yer child into a serial killer in 10 easy steps” step four about smashing all their toys one night and blaming it on pixies is a classic.

Old Knudsen’s last blog post..Ringo Starr Decapitated

Val Says:

Skinny Bitch is a delight…her children will most likely be geniuses…using all that brain power attempting to figure out how to buy up summers and save them….maybe to resell later at a profit.

Val’s last blog post..Things That Tick Me Off…..

kaylee Says:

<LOVE IT!

kaylee’s last blog post..HOPE LOST?

RaeJane Says:

I can’t believe how long it has been since I came by here!
Bad, RaeJane!
I love the new design. Love it.

RaeJane’s last blog post..tired

ALF Says:

I want to be friends with Skinny Bitch!

ALF’s last blog post..I’m Happy For You. And Your Cat.

zoe Says:

skinny bitch should teach a parenting class!!!!

zoe’s last blog post..Fat Ass…Sunday

josey Says:

i love bill cosby!!!! ;) “let the nightly beatings BEGIN!!!” HA!

oh, and SB, too. hehe. i swear she is my aunt nancy incarnate…she played with our minds like that growing up! it wasnt funny then, but it’s fun to see her doing it to her grandkids now. LOL! :D

josey’s last blog post..bad day?

The Over-Thinker Says:

I totally need a WWSBD bracelet.
Armstrong? You’re SO 2 years ago…

The Over-Thinker’s last blog post..Sucking in Public

Two Weeks of Commenting | Psychicgeek Says:

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Remorseful Perverse Parenting Says:

[...] Heartstopper was about five and was watching the Olympic Figure Skating Singles event on television with them, when she very confidently declared: “I can do that!” [...]