March 8th, 2008

For any of you still in school, and under parental care, just cover your eyes now. This information will only lead you on a slippery slope of deception and mayhem.

Backstory: Over appetizers and wine with Warrior Woman, we were telling stories to one another about our younger days. WW interjected frequently about each topic being blog material, but when I told her this one, I ran and wrote it down. I knew I would use it.

I was always a good student. My marks and class participation were good, I enjoyed reading, and I had insight that allowed me to giggle at the naughty bits in some of Shakespeare’s plays. The principal, who also taught senior English, answered my giggles with a huge twinkle in his eye. We were the only two that got it. He also gave me a 100% mark on my senior essay exam, which I think was to discuss imagery and some other stuff in MacBeth.

My mildly amusing but OCD stepmother hated writing excuses to cover absences from school, so I devised a system that made it easier for her. I would write the body of the note, and have her read and sign it.

What she didn’t know was that I never submitted those excuses. Instead, I wrote in my own handwriting my note and forged her signature. Then, when I wanted to jig* school, I could word my own excuse and forge the signature so all submitted excuses looked similar. My handwriting in body of note, forged stepmother’s signature.

Genius.

My brother, Mr.Trick? Not so genius. Or maybe just lazy. He would only forge the note and signature when he was up to no good. I think his girlfriend had introduced him to pot, and maybe he didn’t think things through.

Eventually, the principal noticed the discrepancies in signatures on his notes. Because he only forged when he had to. Doofus. What did my formerly favourite brother do?

He ratted me out.

The principal examined all of my notes, which matched. He didn’t believe rat boy. I wasn’t even called to the office.

Rat boy was so mad that he couldn’t take me down with him. Ungrateful bugger. Serves him right for stealing my idea and executing it sloppily.

*jigging school was the vernacular for playing hookey.

This entry was posted on Saturday, March 8th, 2008 at 4:46 pm and is filed under Mr. Trick, Warrior Woman, stories from the olden days, the mundane. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

15 Responses to “Jigging School”

Marie Says:

Haha serves him write. You know your opening paragraph only compels the minors to read further. ;)

Marie’s last blog post..A Stroll Down Memarie Lane

The Over-Thinker Says:

I ALWAYS wanted to try playing hookey, but I didn’t for a number of reasons—first and foremost being that my dad was a school principal and my mom was a teacher. I could never get ANYTHING past them….except one thing. I can make awesome fake vomit. This helped me achieve a “sick day”.

~Recipe~
In a (toilet) bowl…
Approximately 3 glugs of Cover Girl foundation
About 3 tbsp of loose, facial powder
1/4 cup of milk

VOILA!! Puke!

Make sure to mix it up a bit before they see it.

The Over-Thinker’s last blog post..Bed-Wetting II….Electric Boogaloo (No Joke)

Old Knudsen Says:

Well jigging school is probably why yer now a blogger Ha! Karma Chameleon besides once you have all the letters you need as written by yer ma you can write anything and also its called ‘mitching’ which is why I’m a blogger now.

Old Knudsen’s last blog post..Mandatory Drug Testing For World Leaders

schmutzie Says:

You were brilliant. And gutsy!

schmutzie’s last blog post..50×365 #169: Catherine M.

lceel Says:

Devious innocence. And nice detective work. I really didn’t think anyone would go looking for that post.

lceel’s last blog post..100 Word Challenge #5

teeni Says:

That is a great story. Hehe. You were smart to at least be consistent. I think it’s a riot that you never even got questioned. :)

teeni’s last blog post..Eliminating Paddle Butt

assburgerboy Says:

I never skipped school without my mom’s knowledge. I always had her on board with the idea. Besides, she’s better at coming up with coming up with excuses for the school people.

zoe Says:

oh the things i did while skipping school…*sigh* the good ole days!

zoe’s last blog post..Country Crock

Jenny Says:

My brother used to pay me to write notes for him and forge my mom’s signature. That’s the smart way to do it… nobody gets busted. It wasn’t until years later that I realized my mom knew what I was up to, when she asked me to ride with my dad to buy a new car for her and forge her signature at the dealership.

Jenny’s last blog post..Pet Peeve Thursday

witchypoo Says:

Marie: Yes, I know, but felt a disclaimer was in order. Don’t want the parents beating me up.
Overthinker: You have proven that where there is a will, there is a way. Fake puke. Pretty good.
Knudsey: Even though I jigged a lot of my senior year, I did exceptionally well in school. I even won the biology prize at graduation.
Schmutzie: I’ll tell you what was gutsy. I ran into mildly amusing OCD stepmother while I was on the way back from a tryst with my boyfriend during school hours. She said “You realize I have to tell your father” and I was mightily afreared of his wrath. Yet I kept doing it.
lCeel: Devious, definitely. Innocence? Not so much. See my response to Schmutzie to find out why jigging school was so attractive.
teeni: The principal really liked me. I think he believed that I farted unicorns.
assburgerboy: That’s because you never went anywhere when you skipped school. I would inform them when you were too stressed to deal with people that day. And if you remember, if you were too sick to go to school, you spent the day in bed, because since your only job was school, then on a sick day, it was your job to get well.
Zoe: I think I only jigged school once without my boyfriend. Oh, to be a horny 17 year old.
Jenny: It’s nice to know that there is another evil genius at work here ;)

josey Says:

witchyp–you are such a smartyfarty! one day when i have kids, im gonna be a mom who lets my kids skip a day once in a while. teehee. maybe it might work as reverse psychology? LOL? ahhh i guess i’ll learn one day!

over-thinker…GREAT idea for the fake puke! man, i never thought of that! but, that also means you wore puke on your face everyday you put make-up on and had a glass of milk at brekky. LOL! ;)

josey’s last blog post..2 lovely friends :)

Candy Says:

That’s absolutely diabolical. And I don’t intend to share the idea with my children.

Candy’s last blog post..Fresh Out of Funny

amanda Says:

For the majority of the time I attended school, I always signed my mom’s name and wrote my own excuses. I always felt secretly rebellious even though my mom knew I wrote them.

amanda’s last blog post..First-Ever Contest: Embarrass Yourself for $100.

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