November 21st, 2008

Usually I log into the Psychic Power Network to take calls after I have gotten my first morning coffee and associated metabolic activities out of the way.

I need to be available to answer calls within two rings. So, before I visit the smallest room in the house, I check to see where I am in the queue of logged in psychics. That way, odds are good that I won’t be interrupted.

The thing about playing the odds is that your number will come up eventually.

And?

This morning it did.

With a wad of TP jammed in mah drawahs, I picked up the phone with my unwashed hands and choked back the epithet “shit disturber” (thanks, Dad, for inserting that phrase into my vocabulary, always aimed at me. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.)

Instead, the most pleasant, smiling voice greeted my client. “Hello. You’ve reached Gracie, extension 51650. May I have your first name, please?”

I proceeded to give him a kick arse right-on reading.

Now, I’m looking suspiciously at my tarot deck to determine just how many poo germs are on it, and if I have to wash my hands after every reading for the life of the deck.

I’m quirky like that.

This entry was posted on Friday, November 21st, 2008 at 12:08 pm and is filed under doing bidness, poop is funny. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

54 Responses to “It Had To Happen Sometime”

Danielle-lee Says:

That is so funny! Maybe you will do your best ‘work’ while on the toilet! :) Who knew??

Danielle-lees last blog post..Karma is a bitch, but a stupid one

Cat Says:

Wow, that’s quite a predicament. I’ve never been needed for any urgent purpose while pooping. Hmm. Maybe a new deck of cards? Nah, it’s probably too late now. Sometimes when I call an 800 or 900 number, I wonder what the person on the other end of the line is doing. Now, we know. They’re shitting.

Cats last blog post..The Trouble With Salons

Theresa Says:

*shit disturber* HAHAHAHAHA. How funny! I can just imagine the tone and look that accompanied it when your dad said it.

Theresas last blog post..Thursday 13. My first year of being a Mama.

lceel Says:

EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS BEFORE RETURNING TO WORK

I’m just sayin’.

lceels last blog post..Friday Haiku – Advice

Jenn FL Says:

Heh. I always wondered if people really do wash their hands when they are in the privacy of their own home.

Jenn FLs last blog post..Finished!

Memarie Lane Says:

i’d like to know more about the test readings and such you alluded to before. we always assume that phone readings are trickery, so i’m curious about how psychics are authenticated.

Memarie Lanes last blog post..V-Day

Ree Says:

Eat more beans! Make lots of money!

Rees last blog post..Steelhead Red

Spookygirl Says:

OMG!! ROTFLMAO ;)

Spookygirls last blog post..Happy birthday to me!!

Ash Says:

Ha! Ha!!!!
You’ll be pleased to know that bacteria like that doesn’t live long away from a wet environment.

Lysol?

Or maybe a nice lemon oil rub?

Ashs last blog post..Take yer shirt off!

Krissa Says:

Can you say, “Lysol!”?

Krissas last blog post..My mechanic is a lot smarter than this.

Krissa Says:

Oh, and I’m pretty sure most of the great thinkers of our time have done their best work on the pot!

Krissas last blog post..My mechanic is a lot smarter than this.

ABB Says:

Literal “shit mittens”, in a way. lol.

Lawn Says:

Oh, you didn’t know? If they are your own poo germs, then you are immune. So, go ahead and feel free to eat chips next time you give a reading…you are ok! LOL

AL

Lawns last blog post..Christmas Lights: clean, simple, classy (Part 3)

Natasha Says:

Oh my gosh, I commend you for being able to handle that call without at least giggling (or growling) through your introduction. I get cranky when my 3yo interrupts my sacred bathroom time.

Natashas last blog post..I Like Christmas

christy Says:

Sometimes when doody calls duty calls….

Talina Says:

Spray em with Lysol like crazy! Can’t you do they phone thing on a cordless? That way you could wipe and wash while answering the phone?

Talinas last blog post..Black friday here we come!

Aimee Says:

Haha thats too funny!

Jenny Says:

I’m speechless. Utterly without words.

Clorox ready-wipes for the cards?

SO FRIGGIN’ HILARIOUS!

Jennys last blog post..Dear Universe…. Uncle, Uncle, Uncle! **Hugely long bullet list**

teeni Says:

Add new tarot cards to your Christmas list!

Heather Says:

Yeah, I was going to say Clorox wipes!

Heathers last blog post..

witchypoo Says:

You guys are so funny. I can feel another Peep Award post coming up.
And Memarie Lane? I’ll explain about the evaluation readings in a separate post.

witchypoos last blog post..It Had To Happen Sometime

Rebo Says:

LOL. I like the term shit disturber.. hehe

Rebos last blog post..Tropic Thunder Surprise

Minnesota Matron Says:

Ha. The Matron cannot even start with the interruptions, having a three children, 12 and under. VERY funny! Glad the reading went well.. . .you were ‘connected’ to the universe, the elemental!

Minnesota Matrons last blog post..It Girl

Coast Rat Says:

So… did your customer complain that you gave her/him a ’shitty’ reading?

Coast Rats last blog post..RUN OVER BY A TRUCK, I HELD HER IN MY ARMS AND CRIED INSIDE

Coast Rat Says:

OK. I know. For that previous remark, I BAD! I BAD!

Coast Rats last blog post..RUN OVER BY A TRUCK, I HELD HER IN MY ARMS AND CRIED INSIDE

Goddess in the Groove Says:

:) …I’ve always wondered about call in psychic networks ..now I have a visual :) .

Grazie!

Goddess in the Grooves last blog post..Who is going to save BITCHY me??

Arun Says:

This is so funny! If the callers listen to the voice of the person they called at that time.. I’m sure they would never call again!!! :)

Aruns last blog post..Google launches SearchWiki

witchypoo Says:

testing another fabulous plugin from the go-to geek guy
Andy Bailey

witchypoos last blog post..It Had To Happen Sometime

Andy Bailey Says:

did you put in ” for the post html field for wptwitip-id ?

check to see if the html looks funny in the text area, send me a screenshot if you can

Andy Baileys last blog post..ShamelesslySassy.com : Featured Site

Jason Says:

Hey hows it going?

I found psychicgeek.com on Blogcatalog.com. I like to take an hour or two out a day to let some members of the paranormal community know about our new website, Paranormalknowledge.com. I am the elected-President of Paranormalknowledge.com, not the United States lol but anyway, we try very hard in writing as much as we can and I am sure that you know how hard it can be to promote a website. If you have the time, please check it out and let me know what you think. I also wanted to write to you because I am interested in having you write for our newest project, Project Paranormal PLUS. This is a place where anyone can submit their paranormal-related content with all the proceeds and benefits going to charity, more specifically the Save the Children Foundation. I’m a relatively young guy and I believe that it is important to give back because when you give back to the community as much as you can, you receive back more than you ever asked for, friendship. Anyway, to not take up so much space on your page lol, I’ll leave you with our website links in case you or any of your visitors are interested.

Thank you all.

http://www.paranormalknowledge.com
http://www.paranormalknowledge.com/plus

Jasons last blog post..Project Paranormal PLUS

old knudsen Says:

I’ve known people who think nothing about talking on their mobile while having a shit they even groan before the splash.
I want to know how you can give a good reading with having yer ka interrupted as it would always be at the back of my mind.

old knudsens last blog post..Welcome To My Crotch

rummuser Says:

Welcome to the club! Thank God it finally happened to you. It has really got to be much worse since cell phones have invaded our lives.

rummusers last blog post..Marriage Violence and Divorce.

witchypoo Says:

You should now see a little twitter bird

witchypoos last blog post..It Had To Happen Sometime

Linda Says:

Didn’tchor mamma teach you not to poo on yur hands?

I’m just askin.

Lindas last blog post..Dieting

Nan Says:

“I see the seven of swords… no wait… *wipe, wipe* make that six…”

Nans last blog post..Was It The Wine?

Larry Says:

Heck, some of my best ideas came to me with sitting on the john — and I confess, I too have run to pick up the phone when I was waiting for an important call with perhaps one or two cling-ons still attached to my behind.
BTW, you certainly scored big-time on the Commentluv contest — good on you! I’ve found an entire new group of blogs from the Commentluv contest that I don’t think I’d likely have ever stumbled upon.
Will be back for sure to find out the latest scoops right here!

Larrys last blog post..Today I began a new journey

Dan Says:

Haha, funny stuff! Maybe because you were able to relax on the toilet your mind got ‘in the zone’.

Is there no ‘toilet break’ option when your in the queue? Seems a bit ‘unfair’ not to allow you guys that!

Dans last blog post..Saturday News Update

iamthediva Says:

HIGH-larious! and stumbleworthy… :D

Sorry i haven’t been around much, i’m trying to remedy it… i miss me some witchypoo

iamthedivas last blog post..Two ONLY

iamthediva Says:

hm, my comment didn’t show up….

iamthedivas last blog post..Two ONLY

iamthediva Says:

anyway, what i said orginally was something along the lines of:

Stumble worthy,
and i misses me some witchypoo, sorry i haven’t been around lately

iamthedivas last blog post..365 days of Grace – 1

kailani Says:

I think sitting on the toilet gives you luck! hee hee

The Over-Thinker Says:

Shut UP! ShutupShutupShutupShutup!!! I am so blown away by your dedication!! Do you get some letters to put after your name now? Like MD, DDS, RN? But maybe Grace, PWIYR (poop-won’t-interrupt-your-reading)

The Over-Thinkers last blog post..C Outdorked Me and is Currently seeking Delorian Wings…also– I have a few thoughts.

witchypoo Says:

twitter test

witchypoos last blog post..Housekeeping

witchypoo Says:

still friggin testing

witchypoos last blog post..Housekeeping

witchypoo Says:

And, it works! Yay!

witchypoos last blog post..Housekeeping

Winner winner chicken dinner Says:

[...] some reason, right now it only works for me on this post. Go over there and see if it works for you, will you? You’ll see it’s working if a [...]

Ree Says:

Do I need to comment again to see it? Tweet. Tweet.

Rees last blog post..Thirty-Nine & Twenty-Four

Ree Says:

Oops. Forgot to put that Twitter ID in.

Rees last blog post..Thirty-Nine & Twenty-Four

Ree Says:

So maybe it’s case-sensitive?

Rees last blog post..Thirty-Nine & Twenty-Four

Ree Says:

Maybe with the whole URL?

Rees last blog post..Thirty-Nine & Twenty-Four

Spookygirl Says:

THAT IS AWESOME :)

I love the little Twitter bird, I LIVE on Twitter ;)

Spookygirls last blog post..What ever happened to Saturday night??

Spookygirl Says:

Hmmm? Maybe this time?

Spookygirls last blog post..Jack playing catch with Uncle Tom ;)

Arwyn Skye Says:

So should ever call now be prempted with “ahem, have you washed your hands?” *L*…that’s just too funny!!!

Arwyn Skyes last blog post..Dignity, Death and 2009

Luv My Peeps Says:

[...] The clear winner is Nan, responding to my poop post [...]