November 12th, 2007

I talked to Skinny Bitch on the phone today.
I wanted to tell her I was going to blog about her.
She was all Say whatever you want.
She is the best possible friend to have.
I think I will list some reasons why:

1. She offered to raise my kid if I croak early.
2. She always insists I stay with her and not some
stank hotel when I am in her city.
3. SB is the funniest woman ever. Cracks me up.
4. She is both OCD and neurotic. An endless source of
Skinny Bitch stories.
5. She’s loaded, but she loves to clean.
6. She is drop dead gorgeous. So much fun to watch mens
get totally stoopid around her.
7. She’s even funnier when she is in a bitchy mood.
People fear her. I just collapse into a puddle of
helpless laughter.
8. She uses the jumbo margarita glasses to serve wine.
That way, her guests are puzzled why they got hammered.
“But I only had three glasses of wine” Three of those
glasses=one bottle of wine.
9. Skinny Bitch is afraid of Cheezies. Yet she loves to eat them.
She can always find somebody who is willing to feed her cheezies.
It’s so much fun that I would hate to suggest using toothpicks.
People will do anything for her.
10. She does not cook. Her husband does. She is afraid to touch
meat or potatoes.
11. She’s sharp as a tack, but her comedic genius is in her
delivery. A lot of people don’t get her, because they are
so hung up on her looks, and just can’t get past that.
12. I get my twisted kicks by ever so slightly moving something
say, on her coffee table. Then I watch her twitch until she
can’t stand it, and she has to LINE IT UP PERFECTLY, like it
was before I messed with her head. She knows I have done this,
so she tries to be sneaky about re-aligning the object.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 12th, 2007 at 2:08 am and is filed under Skinny Bitch. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

5 Responses to “Introducing Skinny Bitch”

zoe Says:

sounds like a great friend! we need a pic.

zoe’s last blog post..Tis the season

Old Knudsen Says:

I too understand what its like to be outrageously funny and gorgeous it can be a curse .

Old Knudsen’s last blog post..If You Can’t Be With The One You Love Then Love The One Yer With

Handsome Henry | psychicgeek Says:

[...] remember Skinny Bitch don’t you?  A total delight she [...]

The ingenious plot of Skinny Bitch to torture her husband. | Psychicgeek Says:

[...] you’re not up on Skinny Bitch, you need to go for an introduction and for a [...]

Skinny Bitch: Perverse Parenting | Psychicgeek Says:

[...] those who are unfamiliar with my friend Skinny Bitch you will want to read this story about her, and even follow a link that introduces her around the [...]