February 11th, 2008

The number one search term to date is “meat juice” . I’m not sure I want to know just what was in people’s minds when they searched for it, but I published a post that may have coined the term, and it did create a bit of buzz.

blogging mediocrity – Let’s not be cruel, people.

place your face on a movie star – Somehow, I don’t think the movie star would appreciate it.

Is meat juice blood? – Why, yes, yes it is.

“torture Bra” – This might be number two in the list of search terms. I think whoever did the searching might have been looking for a specific creepy device, but really, all bras are by nature, instruments of torture.

pictures that make your eyes bleed – Use your own imagination here.

fart breathing device – I’m not sure if this is intended to find a way to breathe when farts are around, or a device that lets you breathe actual farts. Wouldn’t that be a big seller?

what can i eat to make me fart? – I don’t know why you would want to know this, unless you are planning to produce fodder for the fart breathing device, but may I suggest beans?

are men only supposed to fart – I think this was prompted by Old Knudsen’s comment. They wanted to verify his information.

girls dont fart – I think we have settled that one.

see girls farting – Someone believes not only that girls do fart, but that there may be photographic evidence. The only visible farts are the ones you light. Are we sensing a trend here?

toilets “air assist” – Maybe if you need help farting? I’m good thanks. Nothing to see here folks, just move along.

badarse – This could happen after fart lighting gone terribly, terrribly wrong.

can you throw-up your poop? – If you eat it, I would think it would be mandatory.

wicked image – Of course, that is the kind of image you would expect from a Tool of Satan. In these parts, however, wicked can mean “very” as in, “This lobster is wicked good”. Lobster is another food that makes you fart.

how to make a girl horny with touch – I’m not sure how this got to me. I can only imagine the sad little man who so desperately wants to get laid.

how to get a boy horny give me advice – You’ll have to submit this question to “Ask witchypoo”.

whales as healers – Yes, but their office might be a bit quirky. And I would love to see their lab coats and stethoscopes.

what to do if your eye bleeds? – I would suggest getting yourself to the nearest whale healer as quickly as possible. They have big eyes, and would be sympathetic.

you know you’re old when – Sadly, I get a lot of these.

going on strike from your husband – I did that a long, long time ago. Although they call it divorce. It can be refreshingly freeing if you keep on walking sometimes.

rum for babies to go to sleep – This practice is frowned upon nowadays. I don’t know why, unless it’s the rampant use of Benedryl.

world of warcraft isnt a game – Yes, yes, it is. You, on the other hand, consider it a job because YOU HAVE NO LIFE.

Blogging mediocrity right here, folks! Get it while it’s hot.

Those of you who do have a life, may want to pop over to my amazing crystal shop and art gallery which is just full of my preciousssss.

This entry was posted on Monday, February 11th, 2008 at 1:49 pm and is filed under Ask witchypoo, bloggy things, search terms. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

21 Responses to “How they found me”

Loralee Says:

I never fail to get disturbed by people searching for “Looney Tunes Porn”.

:S

Loralee’s last blog post..This just in: Hell has frozen over

Marie Says:

Most of my search terms lately have to do with penises and dildos.

Marie’s last blog post..The Path to Natural Beauty

Angella Says:

These made my day!

I get some sweet searches coming to my site. It’s been a long time since I posted a list like this, but you may have just inspired me.

One of my all-time favourites:

“Hot boobs spraying milk”

Angella’s last blog post..Bits And Bites

teeni Says:

Hey – your mediocrity is better than most people’s good. :)

teeni’s last blog post..For the Men: How Not to Romance Your Lady

nan Says:

Ha! Hahaha! Your searchers have brightened my gray afternoon.

Old knudsen’s comments are my favorites’ always!

nan’s last blog post..and in international news today…

Jenny Says:

This is so funny! I’m going to have to rethink my comments, so as to create as many freaky google hits as possible!

Jenny’s last blog post..First Installment: 100 Things about Me

lceel Says:

Love that ‘badarse’ – made me LOL. As for the rest of it, well (let’s see if I can add a good one for the search engines)(Oh yeah…) Whatever blows your skirt up.

lceel’s last blog post..Greening up

Old Knudsen Says:

I just looked up meat juice and there you were in all yer glory . So anyway just how do ‘you’ make a boy horny? I won’t tell you what searches i get as I tend to put things in the labels to waste my fellow perverts time, they look for ‘hot midget sex’ and get the tom and katie wedding post. for some reason on my news blog a lot of people think Steve Fossett has been found or maybe they are just hopeful.
I bet there is a lot of search results for blogging mediocrity but i wouldn’t know about that.

Old Knudsen’s last blog post..Pimple Faced Vampire Werewolf On The Prowl

Old Knudsen award winning commenter Says:

Oh I think all the awards I’m getting from you are going to my head.

Old Knudsen award winning commenter’s last blog post..Pimple Faced Vampire Werewolf On The Prowl

Kristabella Says:

I think my number one search is “chubby feet” or “free sexity movie” and I just don’t know about either of those.

My favorite from the last round was “hey, I’m old!”

Thanks for sharing.

Kristabella’s last blog post..Too Bad Britney Isn’t On The Grammys

ALF Says:

Those are hysterical! I definitely think I need a blog tracker thingie…

ALF’s last blog post..I Would Never Tell You It’s Not Your Birthday

talina Says:

“can you throw-up your poop? – If you eat it, I would think it would be mandatory.”

WHAT?? You are kidding right? Ugh, now I want to see if I have any strange search terms on my blog.. I am scared though. Maybe we should make this a trend cause I just laughed my freaking ass off here! Good times with witchypoo!

talina’s last blog post..Moving tips?

witchypoo Says:

I have a screenshot of the actual search terms for the last two days, and that was on it!

Veronica Says:

My favourite search lately?

“What is keeping me from going insane”

You and me both.

Veronica’s last blog post..Project Support Beauty in Nature

Val Says:

You know I really hate even thinking about this…but I did read a news article stating that addicts, looking for new cheap ways to get high, have been inhaling the odor of fermented excrement. Could that possibly be why this person was searching for a fart inhaler device? ewwwww…sick! I am getting a visual of what this ‘device’ might look like…and SORRY, but its too funny. (as well as being sicko)

Val’s last blog post..Sibling mysteries…..

witchypoo Says:

Geez, Val, if it’s the methane they’re after, hang out in a barnyard. Smart fellers, or as my dad used to say, Fart Smellers.

The Over-Thinker Says:

Good God–I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. “How to get a boy horny give me advice” put me over the edge. Now who the hell would search that?? *waves*

The Over-Thinker’s last blog post..If Boomshine were crack, I’d be hooked on crack.

wordpress.com stats on my self hosted (not hosed) blog? | Harvest of Daily Life Says:

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mommyknows Says:

Hahaha, I am now proud to say that I followed one of your comments here. I DIDN’T find you through a FART search!

mommyknows’s last blog post..A Bear from Texas, 2 Winners (and an Itty Bitty Giveaway).

Tasha Says:

Fart smelling? Machines to help? Hah, just come to my house one night, you don’t need any mechanical assistance in detecting a fart. lol. googles got some freaks!

Tasha’s last blog post..Review: Across the Universe

natalie Says:

how funny. i may have to try this. lately i have gotten several hits after searches on poop on a plate. why someone would be looking for that is beyond me. and why i said it…well i was at a loss for words so that is what i put. these interwebs…crazy fun!

natalie’s last blog post..Who wants to be the weakest link?