Everybody is a comedian in their own mind, which is fine, but some of them just need to keep the dialogue internal.
I knew it was dangerous to drive with Ditzy Woman. That was a given. Ditzy Woman totalled the vehicle, rolling it into a ditch beside the highway exit. Unhurt but shaken, we emerged to be greeted with the giant wall of suspicion that is the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
No “are you hurt?” No, none of that. Thank you. Do we look like we were doing drugs or drunk?
The mountie got Ditzy Woman babbling, maybe for sport because I know it had to be easy. Maybe he thought she would confess to speeding in those high winds or driving with her eyes closed on a dare, who knows?
When he was interrogating her separately, she for some reason saw fit to reveal that I am a psychic. Why? Ditzy Woman. Needs no other explanation.
Mountie interrogates me: “Didn’t you see this coming?” Me: “Heh heh. Good one, officer.”
Silently: “Haven’t heard that one before” and “Any fool who drives with Ditzy Woman at the wheel could see this coming.”
Warning: If you do not have the power to arrest me or hurt me badly, do not ask me that question.
When something really bad is going to happen, I suffer. The feeling of dread is so awful that I wish it would just happen already and get it over with.
When all emerge unscathed from a totally wrecked vehicle, that is an occasion to give thanks. Which I promptly did.

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