January 23rd, 2010

Okay, I’ve never had funeral potatoes, but I might want to look up the recipe.

I swore I wouldn’t attend any more funerals after my Mom died because, frankly, it was ugly. But then, it was not Dad’s children that were being mean-spirited. It was Mom’s. I just now figured that out.

My mother and father had a marriage made in hell, and I believe his second marriage made him into the kind of man that gave his second set of children the father I never had.

I have to say that this particular funeral service was very healing for all concerned, and certainly provided healing for me.

I want to say a word about his second wife, mildly amusing OCD stepmother. She loved him without reservation, and wanted to be certain that his send-off was her last gift to him. She pulled it off like a champion. There was no drama, no sniping at others, and everyone just loved on everyone else.

She did her best to make everyone feel welcomed, and wanted to send him off with a nice family gathering. She put aside any differences she might have with others, and she did it because she loved him so much.

The funeral directors made a point of remarking what a nice family they dealt with. I’m pretty sure they have seen some train wrecks, but there were none in evidence that day.

Grammie showed up and provided some welcome comic relief. I can honestly say it was an awesome service. Look here for a creepily appropriate picture of Grammie.

I resolved I would say goodbye to my father in the same spirit which I met him. With the unrestrained love of an infant.

That is precisely what I did. I am so thankful.

I’m totally okay with this. And? That is my miracle.

And guess who was one of the first non-family members that showed up for the viewing? Horny McSlutty! Bonus. We thought he might be dead too.

Thank you all for your good energy and wishes. Know that I felt it, and greatly appreciated it.

You are in my heart.

This entry was posted on Saturday, January 23rd, 2010 at 11:59 pm and is filed under Grammie, Mildly Amusing OCD Stepmother, The Dead Dad Club. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

15 Responses to “Funeral Potatoes”

pgoodness Says:

Beautiful. It’s so nice when people can put aside differences for a good reason. I’m glad this gave you peaceful closure. xo
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Chibi Jeebs Says:

I’m so glad it went well! :)

(Although I have to admit that I’m *very* curious about funeral potatoes now… ;) )
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Old Knudsen Says:

A nice post considering the content.

Ree Says:

{{hugs}}

I’m glad you were able to give your Daddy his send off without drama.
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Shawn Says:

You know I was quite concerned about you attending your father’s funeral given how awful you were treated at your mom’s….and I’m so relieved that you did, it went well (given the circumstances, of course) and most of all that you found it healing.

You are ever a source of wisdom and humor in my life and I adore you.

Sending you a big funeral potato hug!
Shawn
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Krissa Says:

Well, I can’t tell you how happy and relieved I am that things went so well. You are right it IS wonderful miracle, especially when you go to something like that with low expectations and feeling like the odds are so stacked against you.
Ideally, all funerals should be for healing and closure. I am so glad you dad’s was.
Love you, darling!
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Karen Says:

I have been to some of those funerals too, where there could have been a fist-fight break out at any time. And when my father died? It was not so pretty.
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David Says:

I too am thrilled that it went well (if a funeral’s proceedings can be categorized that way). So much easier for everyone involved.
Hugs.
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Hyphen Mama Says:

Oh, how wonderful for you!!! And you saw Horny McSlutty to boot!

I hope you find peace and closure.
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Priscilla Says:

I’m happy to hear MAOCD is doing well because I thought of her and wondered if she’d be able to pull it together.

What a relief that all went well. I know how worried you were about the whole thing.

Still praying for you and MAOCD. Losing a parent or a husband that you love is never easy.

**great big hugs from CA**
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Torch Says:

I’m sorry to hear about your dad Sherry – whether you got along or not it is always something that tears a little piece of you apart.

January 23rd was the anniversary date of my mom’s departure. That was 22 years ago. I still go to pick up the phone to call her … Oh well. I still check her picture every night. She said if there was a way for her to contact me it would be through that picture. Who knows, maybe sometime she’ll surprise me.

Sending you a warm, tight hug there lady!

Vajayjay Guru Says:

Gotta lurve the Grammies! I miss both of mine.

Were there any Jello molds?

Wishing your father a peaceful sendoff, and you a peaceful journey through this year. You’re one of a kind.
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talina Says:

Great post! I don’t know if I could have done the same but I am so happy you got to end it the way you wanted. It is important. Hugs!
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tattytiara Says:

I just don’t go to funerals anymore. I just don’t.
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Lisa (Kriss'a Friend) Says:

Sorry to hear about your dad. My mom passed away in 2003, I wasn’t even 40 yrs old! But her funeral was so meaningful and it really put my heart at ease…..my family is….well,…..lets just say colorful, scary, loud, crazy,…ok, ok, I am stopping now!
I loved the back story about your grammie!!!! She is so cute!!!!
I have a Mimi (nothing like Krissa’s Mimi!!) and she is pretty feisty too!!