This alert is for you, Loralee. Don’t read it. Cover your eyes. It’s all about poop.
Ass Burger Boy: “Shit mittens!:
witchypoo: “Shit mittens?”
ABB: “That’s when you’re so deep in shit that your hands are covered in it.”
witchypoo: Oh.
Now I can’t stop saying it to myself. Shit mittens. It has a ring to it.
Then I got to thinking of all the excrement-themed sayings my mother had.
“Down will come your shithouse.”
I had a vision of an outhouse toppling, until I realized that her doom-infused voice meant my drawers would come down. (for a spanking)
witchypoo: “What’s for dinner, Mom>”
Mom: “Shit and with it.”
Note: I never figured this one out. But she said it often.
And then, then? I remembered all her sayings that accompanied farts.
“Speak again, oh, toothless one.”
“Clear your throat before you speak.”
“Another country heard from.”
“Better an empty house than a bad tenant.”
Mom was a colourful character. She never considered that some of the things she had to say might be inappropriate for her children.
She was a free spirit.
Gosh. I really miss her.
Pull my finger, please.
