September 1st, 2008

This alert is for you, Loralee. Don’t read it. Cover your eyes. It’s all about poop.

Ass Burger Boy: “Shit mittens!:

witchypoo: “Shit mittens?”

ABB: “That’s when you’re so deep in shit that your hands are covered in it.”

witchypoo: Oh.

Now I can’t stop saying it to myself. Shit mittens. It has a ring to it.

Then I got to thinking of all the excrement-themed sayings my mother had.

“Down will come your shithouse.”

I had a vision of an outhouse toppling, until I realized that her doom-infused voice meant my drawers would come down. (for a spanking)

witchypoo: “What’s for dinner, Mom>”

Mom: “Shit and with it.”

Note: I never figured this one out. But she said it often.

And then, then? I remembered all her sayings that accompanied farts.

“Speak again, oh, toothless one.”

“Clear your throat before you speak.”

“Another country heard from.”

“Better an empty house than a bad tenant.”

Mom was a colourful character. She never considered that some of the things she had to say might be inappropriate for her children.

She was a free spirit.

Gosh. I really miss her.

Pull my finger, please.

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This entry was posted on Monday, September 1st, 2008 at 11:34 am and is filed under poop is funny. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

15 Responses to “Excrement Alert”

Karen Says:

FabGrandpa love to do the “Pull my finger” joke. He also says, when someone blows a really big fart, “You’re going to fool yourself”. And you know what that means, I’m sure.

warriorwoman Says:

Good to see you shittin around.

warriorwomans last blog post..minty fresh

Theresa Says:

My dad still says An Empty House is Better than a Bad Tenant!! And I only a few weeks ago finally figured out what he meant. I was blonde once.

daysgoby Says:

fart sayings:

There goes that fog horn/ frog again!

You were saying?

One of the cats must have just learned how to fly.

Who ate the beans yesterday?

Ah, shit mittens! (I like that!)

daysgobys last blog post..maybe the service was really bad…

lceel Says:

Speak!! Oh, toothless one!!

I think I would have loved your mother.

lceels last blog post..100 Word Challenge – evolution

Krissa Says:

My dad would always say, “Who fired that round?”.

Jenny Says:

I tell my husband “You put the Poo in Pookie!”
We’re trying to teach Wynnie “Pull my finger”
She’ll be a riot at her preschool parties!

Jennys last blog post..Mostly Sober Blogging—You Never Forget Your First Love

just beachy Says:

My son’s favorite saying is poop-deck. Like, ah, poop-deck. Sorta like shit-mittens.

The Over-Thinker Says:

Poop, etc. in our household:

If I head to the bathroom, my husband always says, “Have fun stormin’ the castle!”

When our cats fart, my husband says, “Jesus. Their farts always smell like McDonalds!”

The Over-Thinkers last blog post..Then Loralee swept me off my feet and we shared something sacred…

Monica Says:

My favorite is, “Speak, o toothless one.” I laughed out loud reading this. I think I would have loved your mother. And now I feel much better about some of my inappropriateness with my little ones. But it keeps life interesting, ya know?

Jenn FL Says:

Shit mittens …. lol … I like that.

Jenn FLs last blog post..My WIP

Debbie Says:

I had no idea that we had common ancestors. Your mom sounds just like my dad. And I often wonder now that I have kids if he ever thought about what he said! His favorite was, “You’d better see a doctor. Something has crawled up in you and died.” Ah, good times.

Debbies last blog post..Alfred Hitchcock was right about the birds

Ree Says:

Speak again, oh toothless one???? hahahahahahahhahaha.

Rees last blog post..It’s What?

teeni Says:

I can honestly say I’ve never heard any of those sayings before. I am always learning stuff over here. Don’t know what I’ll do with all this knowledge though. Maybe impress TGH after dinner tonight. LOL.

Chip Mittens Says:

[...] remember shit mittens, don’t you? Yeah, me [...]