I get so pissed when I witness behavior like hers. I always question, if this is how they treat them in public, how do they treat them in private?

Ass-hats.

And you need a licence/permit for virtually everything else in this world…..

G
xx

I do not like to see children being mistreated. Makes me want to take the kids home with me. I’ll never forget these two adorable little girls I saw at a grocery store last year. Their father yelled at them for like a half hour straight. It was ridiculous. I wanted to bring them home with me.

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I don’t understand, on some levels, the parents that scream at their kids. All I EVER had to do was LOOK at my kids. that’s it. Just LOOK. And if they saw disapproval on my face – it stopped, right. then. and. there.

because I always made sure it was too much fun to miss it because of doing something stupid.

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Its always sad to see the little ones being treated like that Hopefully she was just having a really bad day.

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It’s really hard to know what to do in those situations. Often young mothers literally don’t know any better because that’s the same sort of environment they were brought up in. They somehow expect a little one to behave as an adult, and they don’t see them as small human beings, but extensions of themselves, property to do with what they see fit. They need to be reminded that this is not the case. The first step in becoming an abuser is to objectify another human being and as we all know, children don’t have any choice in the matter when their parents choose to do it to them.

I’ve often talked to toddlers and their mothers in the grocery store line. I will say something like, “oh, is it time for their nap?” or “poor little guy, he must be tired.” Or any other banal comment like “I remember when my son was that little, he was quite a handful!” to open a dialog. Often when you break the silence other people will be more inclined to follow suit (and if not they will silently agree with you saying something). That gives you an opening to offer advice such as how you used to bring a baggie of Cheerios and a juice box when you used to go about with your toddler. Or talk to the kid and ask them how old they are, do they like trucks, etc. (I’ve done this at the laundromat too, when there’s a little one drinking a soda and jumping around and the parents want to know why they’re hyper while feeding them a can full of sugar). It also serves the purpose of letting the mother know she is being watched, and silence is the abuser’s biggest weapon because it implies others are endorsing her behavior. If she fluffs you off in a nasty manner, well then, get out the phone number for child protection services and give them a ring (or ask your seatmate or the people at the counter if you can use their phone to make a phone call). No harm done if she’s on the up and up, a world of good if she’s truly a consistently abusive parent. So some strange woman might think you’re a bitch, let her.

I have reported parents for abuse before. My dad was a school teacher and administrator and it is mandated by law here that school officials must report suspected abuse. And I got some freaking sexual predator thrown in jail, too and his stepdaughters taken away from him and his asshole wife who was letting it go on in front of her eyes. But like I said, in most situations, a simple comment here or there will suffice. If not, call child welfare. I have to wonder at the DMV officials if they were ignoring this in their waiting room, they are govt workers are they not?

The same goes at a store, if you see something like parents screaming at their kids, go up to the manager and report it. Maybe it will open up an opportunity for the parents to step back and look at their behavior and correct it. I know if I were snapping on my kid in a store and someone called me on it, I’d be mortified but then again, the worst I ever did was say “you need to stay where Mumma can see you!” when the little buggers tried to take off (found my daughter hiding under a rack of hanging slips in JC Penneys once, she took off like a shot and found a great hidey hole in that round rack of silky hanging things, heh).

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As for government people, they could care less as long as there’s nobody waving a gun around in their offices declaring jihad or saying “death to the guy in charge”. Other than that; oh well. It’s not their problem and they don’t get paid to deal with it.

How sad.

I was recently in a store, and I kept hearing a mom yelling “SHUT UP!” to her child in a dressing room. The child was obviously tired, and hungry. Poor thing. What to do? I had my kids with me, and really wanted to wait for her to come out and tell her how horrible she sounded on this side of the wall. Would that be fair? My kids were aghast at the tone of this women, though I am sure their ears have heard worse than “shut up” , as I am not always perfect. It was the tone, and the nastiness. And yes, I thought the same thing…how does she treat this child in private? When should we step in and say something?

Just a note, when I am somewhere and have “snacks” or other distractions, I offer them .

Great post for some revelaltions…..

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I’d rather get involved and risk being judged than to sit in judgment of a mother having a bad day with her child.
Learning to depend on the kindness of strangers is a key component of overcoming the challenges of motherhood.