March 26th, 2008

I used to scoff at older folk when I was a young upstart.

It seemed to me that the closer they got to death, the slower they would drive.

I didn’t have the patience for an old turd who was enjoying the scenery, as opposed to courting a senseless death by automobile warp speed.

Now that I am an ole turd myself, things are different, baybeee!

It makes sense to enjoy the drive, rather than trying to arrive somewhere a full two minutes ahead of the oldsters.

You take for granted how things are, until they change in the name of “progress”.

CAUTION: Here comes one a those “When I was a kid” stories.

Heh. When I was a liddle gurl, I made it my mission to be out of the house ALL DAY LONG. This was my clever strategy to avoid any possible work to be done, or any other unpleasantness family life involved.

I spent the time mostly exploring the woods, fields, and dirt roads on foot. I ate berries and whatever grew wild or on abandoned properties. I tracked animals, and healed a lot of early childhood pain in nature.

When my military family moved near a big city, I fearlessly made long walks into the city to parks, museums, playgrounds, and any event where there was free food.

A regular grade 5 savant.

Changes were a given in my household; making the best of them worked for me.

Did I mention that I was ummm…easily amused?

The foods I tasted as a child are harder to find now.

Now there are preservatives and all kinda nasties in them.

It’s getting more challenging and more expensive to find REAL FOOD anymore, unless you grow your own.

The good food was not profitable.

Can you say agribusiness, kids?

The earth says it is an abomination to cultivate this way. The earth is diverse, to maintain the balance.

Big Business says: make it cost effective to feed people.

Stuff their pieholes with sheer poison if it makes money.

Ignore the balance of our mother earth.

Observing changes over a long period of time allows many illusions to melt away.

We have defined ourselves by tv in the past, and are conditioned by advertising to want all the instant crap.

It’s poisoned I tell you!

The earth is already pitching hissyfits because the balance is too far out of whack.

Big Business uses her like a toilet.

A men’s room toilet.

Has anybody taken note of the extreme weather phenomona in the past 5 years or so?

Think it’s gonna get better soon?

See, ole people ponder that kinda stuff.

Now I feel a deep longing to be living amongst my tree friends once more.

We are bombarded with so much money-making sensory crap that we’ve forgotten who we really are.

The trees know, and share freely with those who commune with them. I was wisest as a child in nature.

Ole people don’t care if the younguns think they’re whacked.

I’m fixin to really enjoy my second childhood, starting now.

Note: This is an old piece I resurrected. I have no idea why I was using that particular folksy voice, but around that time I also hung fairy lights on a ficus tree beside my bed, and placed my unmentionables on said tree to dry. It was quite a sight.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 26th, 2008 at 10:59 am and is filed under the mundane. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

18 Responses to “Crazy Ole Turds”

Evil Woobie Says:

I loved the tone of this post and i got reminded of the time when we were told by our teachers to drink from the faucets at noon recess because ‘water from the earth is sweet and full of minerals’. Now, those same faucets in my old kindergarten school have big bold signs saying “DO NOT DRINK! USE FOR WASHING ONLY” and kids were told to stay indoors when it rains because the rain was acidic.

Have a happy second childhood and don’t mind the honkers during midday rush. :D

Evil Woobie’s last blog post..A Time Space Warp to My Awakening

Jenny Says:

Yeah, my kids will never know the times of fishing in the creek behind the house with an old bucket we found (stole?). Or spending countless hours incommunicado from the parents wandering hither and dither. I’m actually thinking of having a GPS chip implanted in their little heads.

And hey…just stay in the slow lane and I won’t run you off the road. =)

Jenny’s last blog post..How to Lose 2 Pounds in 12 Hours

Mylifeasmomma Says:

Ah yes. The days of old. I have already began to tell them. About the eighties. And the kids I tell them too are like, “You mean no video games?” when I tell them I played outside. And pretend at that!
I realize the eighties are not old but they were some good years.

Mylifeasmomma’s last blog post..Yeah I spoke too soon

zoe Says:

ahhhh the good ole days. we lived in a commune and i spent all my time outside. we did not have a tv. we ate what we grew. my kids would think it was pure hell.

zoe’s last blog post..Easter Revival

warriorwoman Says:

I hung out in nature and got scared of spiders. I kill them all with Raid.

The trees are a witness to the events of time, they live a long time. Fire takes care of the witnesses.

Big business is the evil doer.

I like winter, it makes all the spiders go to sleep

warriorwoman’s last blog post..stuff about me

warriorwoman Says:

………and good post by the way

warriorwoman’s last blog post..stuff about me

talina Says:

Great point! I hope to one day experience country life as you describe it. I have lived in big city my whole life, I know there is a better, simpler way… One day I will obtain the simple life I want. Hopefully it’s not too late to enjoy it.

talina’s last blog post..Oh, the “death spin” or whatever it’s called…

Just Beachy Says:

I just kept thinking while reading this post, I hate when old people put on the brake before the cross and intersection with a green light. WHY? And you know, I live in the land of old people.

Just Beachy’s last blog post..Where I Tell You, What’s Going on with Me.

witchypoo Says:

Woobie: Sure shows how times do change. Fascinating story.
Jenny: It’s a shame they don’t have the freedom we did to roam. We were told constantly “play outside”, and we took it literally. Outside was a big place. I would walk for miles and miles, think nothing of it.
Mylifeasmomma: ABB played outside a lot too. We lived in the country when he was in the early grades of school, and we grew a lot of our own food. It was a nice way to live.
Zoe: They would only hate it if they knew the difference. You didn’t hate the grow what you eat, did you? Maybe the home made bonnets and aprons sucked though ;)
Warrior Woman: A lot of spiders just move indoors in winter. I read somewhere that you are never more than six feet away from a spider. Don’t thank me. I’m just here to make you happy.
Talina: You can start by using one garden bed for veggies. There’s nothing better than fresh-picked snow peas. Yummy.

witchypoo Says:

Just Beachy I don’t do that. I been good. Honest.

Myst Says:

It’s true.

These days I wouldn’t dream of letting my kids do some of the things we did though – it’s just not safe any more (and I’m not OP/paranoid!).

Only yesterday a friend (single male Dad) told me he allowed his 11 year old daughter to catch the bus to town with two friends – they were walking to the bus and a man on a bike approached them and exposed himself. She won’t be catching the bus to town again for a while.

Makes you wonder if the poison going into the food isn’t adding to the violence and problems in society – I mean human bodies weren’t designed to be fed this stuff – what’s it doing to peoples minds?


Myst’s last blog post..Unblocking My Path…

witchypoo Says:

Myst: I think you have a point with the chemicals changing people. Just look at all the neurological disorders in children since processed food. (ADD, ADHD, the autism spectrum). I also think that television culture, especially of reality shows, is eroding the mores of our youngsters. It takes a lot of dialogue between parent and child regarding what they are watching on television for them not to get sucked into it.

Old Knudsen Says:

We are bombarded with so much money-making sensory crap

But still I love yer blog! I am in no shape or form a hippy but I have commonsense, when you sail on a wooden boat you don’t start tearing it up for firewood. I want to live in a well armed compound and it was 10 years ago I was noticing the milder winters, if mother earth decided to wipe humans off the earth I wouldn’t blame her one bit like parasites we are. Growing corn for fuel because it makes money, growing opium instead of crops because it makes money, people don’t deserve the earth.

Old Knudsen’s last blog post..Touched By A Bigfoot

frogpondsrock Says:

Whispers to witchy.. *come to Tasmania….*

frogpondsrock’s last blog post..Busy Busy Busy!!!

new zealand news Says:

I had felt pretty young still…until I read this post. Now I have to admit my oldness and the fact I do drive like a turd now.

josey Says:

ohhh witchyp, you’re an ole turd after my own heart!!! XOXOX! i have so many posts on my blog whining about all the pesticides, preservatives, fake food, lack of respect for nature, illness and disease and how its all related… YOU ARE SO RIGHT. i love knudsey’s comment, too, we DONT deserve the earth…and myst’s got it right on the nose IMHO.

but you know, i just cant give up on turning things around. i want my (someday) kids to have a childhood like i did. i’m still trying to change my own little world around me…i cant help it! it means too much to me.

i’ll be more than glad to come with you on your “Sunday drive,” too–ANY day of the week :D

btw, let us know how many “turd” searches hit your site now. ROTFL…

josey’s last blog post..heartaches

The Community of Commenters | Psychicgeek Says:

[...] response to the Crazy ole turds [...]

AssBurgerBoy Says:

It would be more accurate to say that big businesses use the earth like fraternity boys use whoever is at “the kegger” that night.