I had an MSN messenger conversation with one of my nieces, CutiePie, whereby she asked me if I had a man in my life yet.

WP: I’ve decided to sublimate my urges into the consummation of carrot cake.

CP: Not afraid of getting fat?

WP: Welcoming it. Keeps those pesky mens at bay.

CP: You have a point. What are the benefits? (She’s young)

WP: Carrot cake doesn’t leave its dirty drawahs lying on the floor.

CP: (immediately getting it) Carrot cake doesn’t leave the toilet seat up.

WP: Carrot cake doesn’t hog the remote control.

CP: Carrot cake doesn’t fart in bed and pull the covers over your head.

WP: Carrot cake doesn’t find fault with your relatives.

CP: Carrot cake doesn’t cheat on you.

WP: Carrot cake doesn’t expect the world to revolve around it when it’s sick.

CP: Carrot cake doesn’t give you any lip.

WP: You win!