I had a great conversation with a client about her egomaniacal ex-husband yesterday. I’ll call him Donald.

witchypoo: “You have a daughter.”

client: “Yes. Donalda.”

witchypoo: (starting to lose it) “Don’t tell me. Your son’s name is Donald.”

client: “Yes.”

witchypoo: “I can top that. I once had a boyfriend (Eric) who had sons named Tommy and Eric. After I kicked his sorry behind to the curb, he married a woman and had more children. The boy was Eric, and the girl was Erica. I can only imagine poor Tommy, introducing himself and his half-siblings (as in an old tv show, Newhart) ‘Hi. I’m Tommy.This is my brother Eric, and this is my other brother Eric. And this here is my sister Erica.’ .”

At this point, we were both helpless with laughter. She admitted that she was pretty embarrassed when he insisted on naming their daughter after him, in addition to the son. She was starting to get some perspective on the situation.

witchypoo: “Please ask in your divorce agreement that he not traumatize your children by naming any more offspring after himself.”

The reason it was a great conversation is that it totally underlined to her what a dillweed her ex really is, and how much better off she is to move on without him.

Hi. This thing on? I had a power outtage this morning, and it has played silly buggers with just about everything.

My phone? The one I take calls on for the psychic network? It depends on electricity. Who knew? My call was cut off. Then, when power was restored, I had to put it on the charger. You’d think the gods of electricity don’t want me to make money today, but I fooled them. I actually have a hard-wired type landline that doesn’t rely on electricity.

I was just finishing off my shop items, because apparently, there was some bogus message about paypal not doing its duty. So I recoded the buttons and they seem fine now. Regular shipping is included in the shop prices, but express? You will have to slip me a few extra bux to get those puppies in time for Christmas. Same with the purple plates and disks. They make lovely prezzies.

I did some shopping on Etsey yesterday, and it was painless and lovely. I can’t give too many details in case the recipients read this here drivel, but I had to pay extra to get things shipped express. Because I seldom get out of the house and all.

One last bit of pimpage here, and I will rest your weary eyes. I am leaving my pricing for my readings in Canadian dollars until January 1st. So for the $50 reading, you can save $10 unless the US dollar takes a swan dive. A reading makes a nice gift is all I’m saying. And? I include a sound recording of the session.

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Dan asks:
Is there no ‘toilet break’ option when your in the queue? Seems a bit ‘unfair’ not to allow you guys that!

witchypoo replies: Since I’m an independant contractor, I can do what I like, but I haven’t figured out the algorithm of how the available psychics get shuffled, and I don’t want to mess with it. Every 15 minutes, there is a shuffle on the website. If my bio isn’t on the first page, I try to do something away from the phone, but I have a lot of repeat business, and that is where the odds will catch you with your drawahs down

Marie of Memarie Lane asks: i’d like to know more about the test readings and such you alluded to before. we always assume that phone readings are trickery, so i’m curious about how psychics are authenticated.

witchypoo sez: I did one evaluation reading for the line I’m currently on. I applied to another that gets more calls because that way, I can leave the house occasionally (having more money in my pocket, thus being logged on less). The second network I applied to gets far more traffic, and pays better, but I had to go through a lot of hoops. There were four evaluation readings, one of which lasted an hour and 15 minutes. Most lasted 30 minutes. If you made it after the first one, you went on to the next, and so on. I expect they evaluate a number of things,like professionalism, skills, and demeanor, and compare the readings to be sure you aren’t spouting the same old stuff to each client. Then they do an overall assessment, and you are supposed to hear back in 48 hours. I’m expecting to hear back soon. It’s a long process. This is plan B. I don’t have much of a plan C.

I got the golden email stating that the psychic network I am not allowed to name has accepted me. Yay! It will be another 2-3 weeks until I can log on, and again, another two weeks until I receive a paypal deposit. The networks seem to hold back a week to start. 2009 may be the one to show me some money. Won’t the clients be surprised to hear me say oot and aboot if I’m a US based Psychic? Oh, wait. Canadians have taken over.

I doubt that any of the psychics on the second network totally suck if they had to go through all the same razzamatazz that I did.

Usually I log into the Psychic Power Network to take calls after I have gotten my first morning coffee and associated metabolic activities out of the way.

I need to be available to answer calls within two rings. So, before I visit the smallest room in the house, I check to see where I am in the queue of logged in psychics. That way, odds are good that I won’t be interrupted.

The thing about playing the odds is that your number will come up eventually.

And?

This morning it did.

With a wad of TP jammed in mah drawahs, I picked up the phone with my unwashed hands and choked back the epithet “shit disturber” (thanks, Dad, for inserting that phrase into my vocabulary, always aimed at me. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.)

Instead, the most pleasant, smiling voice greeted my client. “Hello. You’ve reached Gracie, extension 51650. May I have your first name, please?”

I proceeded to give him a kick arse right-on reading.

Now, I’m looking suspiciously at my tarot deck to determine just how many poo germs are on it, and if I have to wash my hands after every reading for the life of the deck.

I’m quirky like that.

Considering that when I’m logged in to the psychic power network, I check my status in the queue before I go for a poop, and I plan meals as a relay event with Ass Burger Boy, in case I get a call mid cooking (NOTE: I have actually had to SPIT OUT a mouthful of food to answer a call when logged in), and considering that I am working from a laptop and a desktop computer in the same room, I am now considering taking on some more projects using said machines. I’m also considering that I am beginning to sound like a lawyer wannabe.

Project the first involves taking on an additional psychic network line. It involves a process of three evaluation readings, two of which I have already completed. The third will be Saturday. Keeping everything I have two of crossed. Knowing full well it could be painful in some cases.

Project the second is installing CommentLuv on my best blogging buddy’s blogspot blog. It’s a birthday present for her. The rest of you lazy buggers want me to do it for you, it’ll cost you forty bux. That is cheaper than a year’s hosting fees, so there. And you will still have time to get into the CommentLuv contest. Plus, I expect there will be more of these contests in future.

Project the third is updating my rotating image blogroll. This is where I need your input. If I am on your blogroll, I would like to provide a reciprocal link. Or, Lord help me, if you have changed your blog design and would like the new look reflected here, I am willing to do that too. For this project (and the second) you will need to contact me via my handy dandy contact form. That way I can organize a folder and check each off my list as it is done.

I had considered messing with my theme some more, but settled on getting a new feed icon and colour co-ordinating my comments and search box with the fall header. And the rollover of my navigation bar. If you click on the original theme in the footer, it’s practically unrecognizable from how it looks now. So I have been known to do the odd bit of CSS wrangling. The price is forty bux an hour. I do my own for free though. And Angella? She had NO IDEA what I really charge.

Could CSS wrangling be Project the Fourth?