December 11th, 2008 | 19 Comments »

I had a great conversation with a client about her egomaniacal ex-husband yesterday. I’ll call him Donald.

witchypoo: “You have a daughter.”

client: “Yes. Donalda.”

witchypoo: (starting to lose it) “Don’t tell me. Your son’s name is Donald.”

client: “Yes.”

witchypoo: “I can top that. I once had a boyfriend (Eric) who had sons named Tommy and Eric. After I kicked his sorry behind to the curb, he married a woman and had more children. The boy was Eric, and the girl was Erica. I can only imagine poor Tommy, introducing himself and his half-siblings (as in an old tv show, Newhart) ‘Hi. I’m Tommy.This is my brother Eric, and this is my other brother Eric. And this here is my sister Erica.’ .”

At this point, we were both helpless with laughter. She admitted that she was pretty embarrassed when he insisted on naming their daughter after him, in addition to the son. She was starting to get some perspective on the situation.

witchypoo: “Please ask in your divorce agreement that he not traumatize your children by naming any more offspring after himself.”

The reason it was a great conversation is that it totally underlined to her what a dillweed her ex really is, and how much better off she is to move on without him.

Tags: ,
Posted in clients, doing bidness
October 7th, 2008 | 11 Comments »

I was talking to my home girl, Skinny Bitch, on the phone the other night. She just bought a new house, and is making adjustments to being single after a long time married. Which totally cancels out her plans to get even with Mr. SB for his transgressions. Be very relieved, Mr. SB.

I was telling her about all the young women who call me on the psychic power network, or PPN. They want to know if the object of their desires will call them or text them, and what does he mean by “I just want to be friends”?

I explained that I tell them to create an air of mystery, and step back a bit, see if he comes to them.

Skinny Bitch erupted into gales of laughter.

“OMG! That’s totally code for STOP STALKING HIM!”

She knows me so well.

July 14th, 2008 | 20 Comments »

I’ve been home for a week, hence the posting, but tomorrow, I set off for parts relatively unknown for two weeks.

So, intermittent, hit and miss posting for the next few weeks. Subscribe in a reader. It will save you the trouble of stopping by to see nothing going on.

Some of you are all kinds of psyched about your own trips to BlogHer in SF, which is wicked.

Blackbird is holding BlogHere, at her house. No, I’m not attending that either. I have to work. On the psychic tour.

I expect to be keeping a watchful eye out for moose on the highway. The highway which is foggy. Must be all the swampy moose habitat which lines the road to my venue that creates all the fog.

I was a nervous wreck last time. Those critters are huge. And? They will charge a car, and I’m not talking credit cards here. A car that collides with a moose will hit it about knee level, and the moose will fall forward into the windshield, thrashing its antlers about inside the vehicle in its death throes. People seldom survive these collisions. At least this time, I’m not the driver. I’ve never been so happy to be in the back seat since high school.

Keep my seat warm for me when I’m away?

Posted in doing bidness
May 20th, 2008 | 11 Comments »

I’d forgotten how ridiculously easy Dreamweaver is to work with for web developers.

It’s like if you sneeze, Dreamweaver hands you a tissue.

And, it made me absurdly happy to fix my purple plates site. If you have Internet Explorer 6, you can access the site from a link on the page.

I was singing in my head, because that is the only place it sounds good to anybody, “Wooo-oooo, you’re my best friend” and I was referring to Dreamweaver.

I wouldn’t make out with it and have its babies, because, Hello? It’s software.

I’m guessing not much that is soft makes the babies. Where was I?

The reason the site was wonky? One tiny piece of code, three characters long, on one page.

../

Yep, those three. I was too sick over the weekend to tackle any kind of task requiring any smarts at all. I stayed up late last night, poring over code, and had the solution for IE6 this morning. All of the problems with the site had to do with file management.

Or, in my case, file mis-management.

I feel much better now.

Go buy some. They’re awesome. You are too, and you always smell nice.

February 8th, 2008 | 17 Comments »

Diamond Shreddies

Can you believe this? I saw it on tv last night, and thought “Is this a spoof, or do they think we are really that stupid?”
I bet they charge extra for them, too.

Look what I got in the mail yesterday! All the way from Northern Ireland!


Manuel at Well Done Fillet has them for sale at this post. I can’t wait until I have the opportunity to wear mine to an upmarket dining establishment.

Don’t forget to check out my new shop witchypoo where I have made a few very special additions.