November 18th, 2008 | 25 Comments »

For once, I am speechless. The unthinkable has happened.

Skinny Bitch has been dumped.

Skinny Bitch and Will-Yummy

I know! She can’t comprehend it either.

I guess I need some backstory here.

When she had the terrible car wreck that left her in a halo brace for five months, she and Mr. SB had been divorced for some time. For good reason, I might add. She was more than a little bitter. Even fantasizing for ages how she could plot his demise, and get away with it. Don’t piss her off. She holds a grudge.

Mr. SB dropped everything, including his live-in girlfriend, rented his house out, and moved in to take care of Skinny Bitch and the kids. Heartstopper and Georgie were seven and nine years old at the time. He earned a lot of brownie points in my book for that. Not so much with Skinny Bitch. She holds a grudge.

Nobody but me believed this, but all the time this was going on, she and Mr. SB slept in the same bed, and didn’t have sex. Why? She holds a grudge.

Skinny Bitch compartmentalized her life. She kept a stable home for the kids, but she dated, went away for weekends when Mr. SB was available to take care of the kids, and? She fell in love.

For the first time in her life. Heartthrob was a beautiful man on the outside. Shiny, clean, long dark hair. Gentle, kind, smart and funny. The kind of man who never played mind games. Everybody who knew him adored him. The only thing that really really bothered her was their age difference. He was ten years younger. He still lived with his parents while he went back to school. He had no real ambition because he wasn’t big on accumulating wealth. He just wanted to live his life and be happy. Beautiful on the inside too.

Then her daughter, Heartstopper, turned thirteen, and all hell broke loose. The home situation required all of SB’s attention, and SB figured that Heartthrob could use some time to grow up a bit. They broke up, and Skinny Bitch tried very hard to pull together with Mr. SB to get the kids through this. They bought a beautiful house in a secluded neighbourhood, hoping to get Heartstopper away from her dirtbag boyfriend. The one who only went away because he was incarcerated for dealing drugs.

Mr. SB had his own ideas of raising a teenage daughter with a dirtbag boyfriend, and they consisted of believing anything she said and letting her do whatever she wanted. To say that Skinny Bitch was bitter would be grossly understating the case. She was the freaking queen of bitter. And? She was a wreck. I was very afeared for her sanity and well-being at this time.

Heartstopper turned eighteen, and Skinny Bitch began to accept that her parental say was over. She was still very bitter that Mr. SB sabotaged it with his dysfunctional parenting approach. She holds a grudge. Did I mention that?

Last summer, I knew that she was back to plotting Mr. SB’s demise in her head, just by the way she cut her eyes at him. I knew the end was very near.

She unlocked her insurance settlement after consulting with financial advisors, and bought herself a lovely Victorian house with a huge down payment. She said to me “What good is that money to me, sitting in investments, if I’m miserable?” It’s true, money can’t buy you happiness, but at last, she had her own space, where she had a say in her life. I was happy for her.

She asked me to email Heartthrob to find out what was going on in his life. He very generously donated server space and resources to me, so I could test out some sites I was developing. He also very generously had given me lots of development advice. Great guy!

Heartthrob was unattached, and they talked on the phone. He still loved her, and wanted to come over right away. I think if he had, he would still be there.

Skinny Bitch wanted to take it a bit more slowly. She called him a week later, and he was rather indifferent. A week after that, a man answered and said he had moved out to Alberta.

I never saw this coming. From everything I know about Heartthrob, he is not the kind of man to play games. The only man she has ever loved. And the only man who has ever dumped her. She was astonished as I was.

It’s been really rough for her. She can’t let it go. She has fantasies of them running through a meadow in slow motion, all happy and thrilled, and in the back of her mind, just a little, she is muttering “You fucker.”

Because, after all, she holds a grudge.

July 10th, 2008 | 20 Comments »

Skinny Bitch and her husband have had a few rough times together. Mostly having to do with his gullible parenting. He adores his daughter so much that he would believe anything at all she tells him. Skinny Bitch was once a teenager, and she just plain knows better.

When Heartstopper was fourteen years old, this was a big problem. Huge. Dirtbag boyfriend. Skinny Bitch wants to keep her away from him since he’s a drug dealer and all. Mr SB is all whatever Heartstopper says must be true. It made her so crazy she had to leave until the dirtbag went back to jail and Heartstopper went back to normal. Mr. SB didn’t change a bit. She has plans for revenge about this.

Heartstopper is now eighteen years old. Skinny Bitch figures you can’t tell them what to do at that age, you pretty much have to trust that your guidance and values have taken.

Mr. SB asks Heartstopper about her new boyfriend, who has his own apartment. Heartstopper practically lives at the guy’s place.

Mr. SB: Heartstopper, when you sleep over at the boyfriend’s, where exactly do you actually sleep?

HS: Da-ad! (gives an accusing glare)

HS: I’m only eighteen! (eyes fill with tears, lip starts to quiver) I sleep on the couch. I’m not ready for sex yet. Gawd!

Mr SB: (in a very very small voice) I’m sorry.

Skinny Bitch used all of her restraint to keep from jumping up and clapping, her daughter’s performance was so convincing.

I suggested to her that she find a set of numbers like the judges use at the Olympics, so she can stand behind Mr. SB and rate Heartstopper’s performances.