It’s just about time to break out some of the search terms that landed people here. I have a Dr. Phil type question here: What were they thinking?

horny girl do big farts-I’ve never been so horny that I would do a fart. Once I did an old fart. Does that count?

accidental peeing in public-Would that be opposed to peeing in public on purpose?

what to say to a boy to make him horny-“I am willing to have sex with you.” That generally works.

iam a “bit geek”-Good for you! I’m a bit “rock and roll”. I have no idea why I was compelled to say this.

are meat juices contain blood- Meat juice IS blood.

how to make women horny without touch-Do domestic chores. Or buy them real estate.

witchypoo shart-Ah, at last, TMI brings me new readers.

psychic boob reading-Does this mean that I’m the psychic boob? Or are you looking for someone who reads actual boobies? Would they do that by touch? If so, I expect a lot of men might apply for this job.

how to call crows-I use the crow dating hotline. And mostly, I throw bread out in the dooryard for them. They like that.

farts made her horny-Which begs the question: What were you eating that your farts made her horny? Or can you play a Barry White tune with your rectum?

my husband farts too much what can i do-You could aspire to be the girl that gets horny from farts. That might work.

eye bleed photos-Obviously, someone has seen my crappy photography. I’m not legally responsible for any damage to your retinas. Do I need a disclaimer? Back off, then.

“i wear a crown” comment-Although in my mind, I am Queen of All I Survey, somehow, I thought my crown was of the invisible variety.

beansoup aprons-Why, oh why, does beansoup need an apron? Is beansoup a sloppy cook? Maybe I should ask Bacon?

touch him you go through me-You must be the ghost that is standing in front of him all the time. Stop it.

fermented excrement-I guess methane is the new meth. I had to google this, and really, it is being used as an hallucinogenic, which allows the kids to see dead people. Newsflash: You don’t need to huff crap to see dead people.

+”maxi pad”+”pee”-So is that like a training Depend?

When I see what search terms people use to find my site, I always copy them into a separate document, so you can all enjoy them too. It seems scatological topics dominate this time. I blame this post. Here are a few of the gems I came across.

sick ass farts: Would this be opposed to say, healthy ass farts? What exactly is a sick ass fart?
my fart wont last: All good things come to an end my dear. Move on now.
girl fart smellers: Is this person trying to find a girl fart smeller? Or trying to smell girly farts? They’re so vague in their terms.
fart thinker: This must be for the intellectual fart seekers.
how to see a fart: Ask the fart to appear to you. Don’t expect too much. They’re bashful about being seen.
girl fart in movie: I must have missed this one at the theatre.
i get horny when i fart: Lucky you. I bet it has a different effect on others.
fart initiation: Into what?? Adolescence?
fart inhaler: If you have asthma, I doubt you need this brand of inhaler.
girls farting right on guys: Are you the same guy that gets horny when you fart?
can farts make u money: Maybe girl farts in movies do?

fart bubbles: For those times when soap bubbles just won’t do.
people who can really fart: I’m sick and tired of all those bogus farters too. Posers!
fart punishment: How does one punish a fart? Bad fart! Go to the naughty chair.

toilets with poop in them : It’s not like you were expecting candy in toilets is it?
poop that u can see: As opposed to that pesky invisible poop?

how can i make him horny without touchin: Apparently from these search terms, there are many and surprising ways.

The number one search term to date is “meat juice” . I’m not sure I want to know just what was in people’s minds when they searched for it, but I published a post that may have coined the term, and it did create a bit of buzz.

blogging mediocrity - Let’s not be cruel, people.

place your face on a movie star - Somehow, I don’t think the movie star would appreciate it.

Is meat juice blood? - Why, yes, yes it is.

“torture Bra” - This might be number two in the list of search terms. I think whoever did the searching might have been looking for a specific creepy device, but really, all bras are by nature, instruments of torture.

pictures that make your eyes bleed - Use your own imagination here.

fart breathing device - I’m not sure if this is intended to find a way to breathe when farts are around, or a device that lets you breathe actual farts. Wouldn’t that be a big seller?

what can i eat to make me fart? - I don’t know why you would want to know this, unless you are planning to produce fodder for the fart breathing device, but may I suggest beans?

are men only supposed to fart - I think this was prompted by Old Knudsen’s comment. They wanted to verify his information.

girls dont fart - I think we have settled that one.

see girls farting - Someone believes not only that girls do fart, but that there may be photographic evidence. The only visible farts are the ones you light. Are we sensing a trend here?

toilets “air assist” - Maybe if you need help farting? I’m good thanks. Nothing to see here folks, just move along.

badarse - This could happen after fart lighting gone terribly, terrribly wrong.

can you throw-up your poop? - If you eat it, I would think it would be mandatory.

wicked image - Of course, that is the kind of image you would expect from a Tool of Satan. In these parts, however, wicked can mean “very” as in, “This lobster is wicked good”. Lobster is another food that makes you fart.

how to make a girl horny with touch - I’m not sure how this got to me. I can only imagine the sad little man who so desperately wants to get laid.

how to get a boy horny give me advice - You’ll have to submit this question to “Ask witchypoo”.

whales as healers - Yes, but their office might be a bit quirky. And I would love to see their lab coats and stethoscopes.

what to do if your eye bleeds? - I would suggest getting yourself to the nearest whale healer as quickly as possible. They have big eyes, and would be sympathetic.

you know you’re old when - Sadly, I get a lot of these.

going on strike from your husband - I did that a long, long time ago. Although they call it divorce. It can be refreshingly freeing if you keep on walking sometimes.

rum for babies to go to sleep - This practice is frowned upon nowadays. I don’t know why, unless it’s the rampant use of Benedryl.

world of warcraft isnt a game - Yes, yes, it is. You, on the other hand, consider it a job because YOU HAVE NO LIFE.

Blogging mediocrity right here, folks! Get it while it’s hot.

Those of you who do have a life, may want to pop over to my amazing crystal shop and art gallery which is just full of my preciousssss.