June 18th, 2008 | 15 Comments »

You people crack me up. I feel guilty that the comments are often better than the actual post, but I love it! And? It’s often really hard to decide how many to include. My laziness often makes that decision for me.

From Not Parallel Play

Knudsey

I don’t like batman either, those rich types think they can do what they like.

From June Peep

Krissa

Hey, I can relate to all poop stories, as living with an 86 year old, constipated, invalid, woman has taught me that EVERYTHING REVOLVES AROUND THE POOP. By the way, you keep me in stitches…even with all the, ahem, shit going on over here. (pardon the pun)

Jenny

Mylifeasmomma says . “I hear when you get old that the highlight of your day is when you go poop.” Are you kidding? The highlight to MY day is when I poop!!! When I’m 86 having a bm will probably move me to complete enlightenment. And I hear eating baked apples has a similar affect.

From Ask Witchypoo

LCeeL

Is everybody naked?

Memarie Lane

Well you certainly read my uterus.

From Sattiday in Maine

The Overthinker

I just typed a long comment and then my computer froze and I lost it. And let me tell you Witchy, it was pure genius. High-caliber humor. Funniness to the 10th power. You’re just going to have to trust me on this, it was going to be the best comment ever. Peep-tastic, if you will. Or, maybe I’m lying and all I did was post my time of 2:05.

From Just Lazy

Christy

I have blog-arrhea. Every time I do anything it seems blog-worthy. Then I READ it, and it’s like cyber-anesthesia. Oh Jesus. Now I want to blog about my blog bulemia…. HELP!!!

From Smite Me

Ass Burger Boy

I just want to tell you that his microphone would be a Suppository if he smacked me and refused to get it out of my face. Can’t stand people like that.

Nan

I just wanna tellya, Oh Lord, that made me giggle. And Lo, now I can stop feeling sorry for myself and go to sleep, yea, and possibly not wake up with the flu tomorrow, Oh Lord. Cause I just wanna tellya, Jesus, laughter is the best medicine. AMEN!

And the winnah is…

Texas Poppet

And the male congregates awoke with much oogling and gaping with awe as they beheld the sight of Witchypoos ta-tas and the just and righteous hands of their good wives did smite them in the pews. Praise be.

Posted in Peep of the Week
June 9th, 2008 | 12 Comments »

From Peep Award

The Overthinker quips:

This is easily my most favoritest blog to comment on. I seriously love your readers, Witchy–I’m jealous :) Congrats, Kristabella!! You dirty woman, you. P.S. I’m fairly certain the boob-shock wasn’t the weirdest part of the moment. Moreover, it was probably the odd butt-clenching that it prompted. Yup–naked cleaning with boob shock and involuntary butt-clenching is mighty-fine. Mighty-fine.

Talina admits:

Well, I missed quite a bit while I was away huh? House cleaning naked? Sounds good to me! I already blog naked. What? I need to air dry after the shower keeps my skin from drying out! :-o

From Dollhouse

The Over Thinker waxes on her childhood:

Unreal! The time it must take to put something like that together! Listing with the Realtor? Smart cookie, that one. Growing up, I always wanted a Barbie Dream House. My parents wanted me to be more resourceful. Clearly, they hated me. They gave me five empty shoe boxes and some scotch tape and cotton balls and said, “Build It.” Oh…and I built it. Logistically, I turned all the boxes on their wide sides so the rooms could be large (not high ceiling-ed). Each room looked like a snow-storm. Because furniture and carpet made out of cotton balls? Yeah–each room looked like a snow drift out of The Shining. So, Barbie’s “tall” (about 10″?) and the ceiling height of my “rooms” was about 4″… Basically, it looked like I had created about 9 themed coffins for Barbie—all taped together. Does she want a snack? Barbie can go lay down in the kitchen-coffin! Is Barbie tired? She can head to her boudoir and have an (eternal) slumber in the bedroom-coffin!

Warrior Woman:

Question: did that plastic cat in the kitchen give you an allergic reaction when you played with it?

Kelly:

Reading your post made me think of the doll house I had as a child. My family wasn’t well off but my mother was very creative and resourceful. She found an old bookcase with two shelves and turned it into my openfaced dollhouse. Never mind that there weren’t any stairs, my dolls hung out in style in either the kitchen, living room or the bedroom. She also made me homemade furniture out of jewelry boxes and scraps of old clothing. It was one of my favorite toys for many many years until we passed it on to another lucky little girl.

ALF

Wow – that really is amazing. I don’t think I could convince Doug to play dollhouse with me. He would probably be busy watering the dirt or something…

Catatonickid may have a buyer:

That’s too cool! Such delicate work, all those miniature accouterments of a past gone by. It makes me want to invite someone round for High Tea or some similar nonsense. I may have to put my friend’s moderately mad Mother onto that doll house. She big time collects and makes them, and she’d go bananas in purest adoration.

From The Queen:

Knudsey quips:

Its yer birthday today? I did ask you when it was ha! now i know. I’d send you a present but i don’t do giving presents I’m a taker not a giver. You were a wild one back in the day, when I was that age I was doon pit or digging ditches to support a family of 10. I hardly knew the family but they threatened to break my legs if I didn’t do it. I suppose being called a Queen is better than being called a mother.

Angella says:

Holy hotness, Batman! And how does everyone else know it’s your birthday? I think I need to cut back my Diet Coke consumption. Happy Birthday!!

Warrior Woman, always witty:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY. You’re older than dirt now, and like all real-estate, you appreciate with age. You’re not closer to the grave, you’re more valuable now than you ever were. I’m glad to know you. You look hot in that picture by the way, good to see that you haven’t changed much since then. And great story.

From Bingo:

Moo:

I adore BINGO! and I go with my mom. We mock everyone else there and yes, we get the Stare Of Death from those around us … which just makes us laugh even more. When you go consistenly to bingo and don’t win, it’s extremely frustrating. But whenever we DO win, it’s SUPER exciting!

More from Knudsey:

I saw a sign for ‘extreme bingo’ I wonder just how dangerous it is.

Coast Rat says:

TOO FUNNY! Plums, prunes… at least you added some excitement to the place that evening. It’s pretty neat that ABB volunteered to accompany you.

And the winnah is… (cracked me up big time with the visual)

Ree, aka Hot:

I remember when I was constipated, my mother used to feed me plums while I was sitting on the toilet!

Posted in Peep of the Week
May 5th, 2008 | 11 Comments »

Once again, I am poring over last weeks comments and giggling. You folks need to click over from your readers.

From Grown Children Confess

Zoe cuts to the chase:

well, he is your son.

My Life as Momma chimes in:

I loved telling my parents all the stuff I got away with. Of course they laughed and said that actually they knew all along. So I said to them, “What kind of parents are you letting your 16year old daughter go out and drink with a bunch of 18 year old boys? DID YOU WANT a grandbaby or something?” Totally shut them up.

From The Art of the Kamikaze Visit

The Over Thinker thinks:

Two words: Potato Wine. Three more words: I’m coming over. Seven more words: Don’t worry about putting on a bra.

Teenie sniffs:

Oh, I smell shenanigans going on over there! Wine and shenanigans, I tell you. Now, how do I get there? ;)

From Freedom’s Just Another Word:

Memarie Lane

Most Americans would vehemently disagree with you, but I’m not one of them. Why would they disagree? Because they’ve been programmed not to look any further than the little antenna flag bouncing on the front of their minivan on their way to Wal-Mart. Little batteries to feed the machine.

From: Today Was Boobie Sandwich Day

My Life as Momma quips:

I have this funny ass image of boobies being squished together and bread on top. Oh and nice little ball bearing hangin off. Sounds like a weird porno. Hope your cyst is okay.

Lou Ce El (pronunciation is important) consoles:

Not exactly what I was anticipating when today was announced as ‘boobie sandwich day’. However, the disappointment is worth it if it means we’ve found out that yout tits are okay. BTW, they’re okay with me. And if the process has proven painful, I can kiss ‘em and make ‘em better. MWAH! (left side) MWAH! (right side) MWAH!(back to the left side – I’m left handed) MWAH! (back to the right side – gotta make ‘em even) There. All better now. Now for the nipple licking ….. nom, nom, nom ….

Knudsey admonishes LCeel:

That Lceel will do anything for a peep, upon saying that a boobie sandwich would go doon a treat though I think its called motor boating when you put yer face inbetween and go flubalubalubalub.

Knudsey, once more:

I would like to thank ‘not now Lceel I’m making a speech’ all those who have made my win of this my third ‘ what is it Lceel I already paid you back that money?’ peep the most incredi ‘ what? I didn’t win?’ crap I’ll save my speech for next week I suppose and why isn’t it called the Knudsen Peep award? have I changed? ach you’d all just say no anyway yer just after me fame and money, leeches the lot of you I’m off to rehab………. again.

And the winner is Teeni! Just in time, Teeni, to decorate your new blog!

Posted in Peep of the Week
April 28th, 2008 | 15 Comments »

All of the commenters here have quite a wit, but I choose to highlight a very few of them each week, just to tease those who don’t click over from their readers. All that hunting, choosing, copying and pasting has me all worn out, but I do it because I loves you.

From Dizzee

Memarie Lane admits:

My friend Jeanine and I used to tie up her little brother when we were supposed to be watching him. Apparently he holds us no grudge. I wonder if he has a bondage fetish now?

The Diva adds:

One time my older brother and i threw our younger brother down the stairs in a suitcase. We were a little “Lord of the Flies” out on the farm.

Knudsey observes:

Yep siblings are right bastards, also the youngest I suffered more mental abuse than anything, as I got older I realised I just didn’t like my siblings but now understand their need to put me doon on an everyday basis it wasn’t me it was their issues about me and now I forgive them not that they think there is anything to forgive and only remember what I said to hurt them (in defense but they never remember that) they did hone my sarcastic wit thus allowing me to win the peep twice so I guess God had a reason for it.

From Boobies for Skinny Bitch

Marie in Maine recounts:

Great story, I wonder what the old ladies told everyone when they got home. Why do Scots wear kilts? Cuz the sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

Nan confesses:

*looking sad* No-one wants hangy down boobies? All you people can go on about is “bigger, smaller,” and not ONCE have I heard “Oooh, I want hangy-down boobies so I will always know where my pencil is”.

Lou Ceel takes the high road:

I will gladly volunteer to fill in, at any time, as an ad hoc boob job inspector/texture assessor. Given my many years of experience in the field, I feel it’s only right and proper for me to offer my expertise in this, a critical area for the proper maintenance of self esteem in young and otherwise flat-chested women. I only ask expenses. Properly approached, I might even bear the expenses myself.

The winner is Lou Ceel

Gotta love those uncles and their inappropriate stories. I think everyone has one. I know my nieces and nephews do.

This puppy is yours, Lou.

Now go forth and be witty. And vote for me. And send good vibes. Tomorrow is boobie sandwich* day.

*Mammogram

Posted in Peep of the Week
April 20th, 2008 | 11 Comments »

Commenters here are wicked funny and they smell nice. Some of the stuff they write is so good, I just have to share. I can’t pick just one to highlight. But I can pick just one to receive the award. I have no formula, no rhyme or reason. I just dadgum pick one. Some of you are trying to win this award again. You can do that if you have multiple blogs, but I do like to spread the love around.

From Weird Search Strings

Marie reveals how to make her horny. We can’t pass that up.

How to make me horny:

1. Look and talk like Gerard Butler

2. Be strong, silent, and mysterious

3. Wear lots of black

4. Bathe often, to the point of obsession would be good

5. Play an instrument. Not the drums. But don’t sing.

6. Be intelligent, but not a know-it-all.

7. Once 1-6 have been completed, crook your finger in my general direction and smile. That should do it.

From Spring?

Warrior Woman sez:

summer brings flowers,

brings bugs,

makes me run for cover.

well at least I get some exercise

From Grammie’s Present

Jenny observes:

Darn! I kept wondering who had hot flashes all day while the voodoo doll was on fire.

Kelly quips:

I loves me some arse. It rolls off the tongue much better than the vulgar ‘ass’. And your Grammie is all I aspire to be. Any woman that has the guts to BURN a voodoo doll is awesome in my book.

Our pal, Lucille, or rather lou ceel, reveals:

My old Mum lives with us. Grannie is 82 years old and sits all day doing genealogy on her laptop. That or playing online poker. She doesn’t hear very well, so we got her 900mhz earphones so she can hear the TV – she watches as much Perry Mason as she possibly can. She keeps saying “where do they keep getting these Perry Mason episodes I’ve never seen before?” I love her very much – but it must be fun where she is.

From Two Weeks of Commenting:

Knudsey has his say with me:

Ah the pressure to be witty and thought provoking or thought perverting as I do. Am I the only one to notice that you haven’t pleaded for votes or talked about money in over a week? What have you done with witchypoo you alien scum? I thought I’d seen the last of the blogging shape shifters when I blew up Uranus with my missile master 3000, hey if you take this comment the wrong way then yer just perverted or adventurous one of the two.

Warrior Woman, who always has something to say:

so that’s it, they left a transmitter somewhere in your head and now I’m a victim of “Big Alien Is Watching You” great, that’s just great your Netti Pot is actually an alien probe and you’re not washing out the snot, you’re putting battery juice in the thing. man………I knew all that pizza was too good to be true. alterior motives – you has em.

From Twins:

Knudsey totally cracked me up. You’ll have to put this on your other blog, Knudsey. It’s a winnah!

She’ll feel really feel it when the babies ‘crown’

You,too, can aspire to greatness. Just leave your funny or insightful comment on my blog. No pressure, heh.

Posted in Peep of the Week