January 3rd, 2009 | 15 Comments »

Behold the results of emailing while drinking wine. Shame on you, Warrior Woman, for not being here to share. (And lessen my load, so to speak) Because when I have company, I am never on the computer, except to select the music.

Overthinker:

Oooo…you’re “testing for cookies”….I want some.

See, you said good-bye to 2008 with grace. I sort of went the other direction…I might have flipped 2008 off on my blog. Can I still have some cookies?

I replied:

Well,if I don’t actually have to make and mail the fuckers, you may have a plethora of virtual cookies.

Overthinker:

Mmmmm…fuckers and milk. :)

And is it bad that I totally just laughed my ass off at myself? Shit, I totally wasted a perfectly good Peep of the Week comment in an e-mail. Dammit, I need to learn to keep my cards close :)

Apparently, it wasn’t wasted.

Posted in Peep of the Week
December 3rd, 2008 | 13 Comments »

I’ve been meaning to comb through my comments for gems quite a while now, because some of them are wicked good. The winner gets to display this awesome award, painstakingly crafted by Loralee and she only used it like twice, probably when she realized how time consuming it was to go through comments, cut and paste comments and links. It is. But I loves you all.

Ree comments:

Cute new header lady. ;-)

And I’m not sure how Mrs. Andy would feel about you telling the world that Andy’s horn is tootable, but I think it’s pretty tootable, too.

Andy responds to my numerology post:

I used to have a friend who swore by numerology..

she used to say ,”oh 14!, my 54 stupid **@!ss 12266?

Knudsey has his say on numerology:

And then you do the hokey pokey, numbers are for the weak learn how to get the winning lotto numbers then I’ll be impressed.

She has to give them to me in order for me to be impressed by the way.

The Overthinker reports on my Thanksgiving post:

I ate so much yesterday, I’m fairly certain I saw a drip of gravy come out the corner of my eye.

Kelly gets me giggling:

THat is why I am too scared to check for updates. Cause if my blog goes down I am certain that that is the day that Dooce will come and declare her undying love for me and I can go all ‘meh, I don’t care for your Dooceyness’

But looking good here chicky babe

The Overthinker, once more:

Shut UP! ShutupShutupShutupShutup!!! I am so blown away by your dedication!! Do you get some letters to put after your name now? Like MD, DDS, RN? But maybe Grace, PWIYR (poop-won’t-interrupt-your-reading)

Honourable Mention goes to Christy, who left no blog address:

Sometimes when doody calls duty calls….

The clear winner is Nan, responding to my poop post

“I see the seven of swords… no wait… *wipe, wipe* make that six…”

It’s always about poop, innit?

Tags: ,
Posted in Peep of the Week
September 26th, 2008 | 9 Comments »

I so truly enjoyed the comments from this post! Your razor-sharp wit cheered me up so much, that I am going to devote the Peep Award to this post only. Thank you all so much!

And? I settled some of the anxiety by deciding to work at night, when wives were around to supervise errant husbands. There are also more calls at night, but I have had to restructure my hours somewhat. It just means I go to bed later, and wake up later. My blogging routine is off a bit, but hopefully, I will adjust.

From Anxiety

Marie in Maine gives us hers:

:::makes clattering noise::: “Excuse me, Mr. Wanker, I dropped my magnifying glass! Now, go on. Tell me, when was the first time you noticed you had erectile dysfunction? You say you never had ED? Well, I’m sorry to tell you this, but I see nothing but softies in your future. Hello? Hello?”

Knudsey slyly retorts:

It would have been an easy reading, ” you have all the tools at hand for a satisfying out cum, expect good things soon.”

The Over Thinker has her own remedy:

Man, that’s just not cool. Is there another hot line that would be better to work for? I don’t know much about it, but I’d guess some would have more respectable clientele than another–or maybe I’m way off. If you get another one like him again, would it be apropos to say, “I sense you have a small penis. I sense your mother and your dog are the only 2 that know it.”??

Warrior Woman,never at a loss for a quick comeback:

Cum here and whisper in my ear, spank me spank me and charge me lots. I’m a bad boy, yes I am, yes I am…. I want to feel you, I want to make you feel good. I want to come to your house and chase you around naked, I want to be your biggest scariest nightmare, I wanna be your bad baaaaaad boy………. SEE I COULD DO THIS PSYCHIC HOTLINE THINGIE TOO!!!

Theresa thinks the good thoughts:

w. My neighbour used to wank in his backyard all the time when I was a little girl. I think that qualifies as sex abuse. I really really HATE wankers. I hope you don’t get anymore. I shall think wank-free thoughts for you.

Memarie Lane offers advice:

You should post a picture of my grandma. I’ll bet you can imagine the kind of calls we used to get at the colonic place.

And the winnah is…

Karen

I used to be a telephone operator, and every full moon we got the weirdo’s and sicko’s calling in. There was this one guy who would call all the time and ask us “what color are your panties?” One girl told him, white with brown spots!” hahahah

Posted in Peep of the Week
September 3rd, 2008 | 10 Comments »

You folks often have me howling over your comments. I would like to showcase more of them, but all those links are a right pain to create.

From Dog Farts

Marmaburg quips:

Shoot around here farts are rewarded with high fives and “what did you eat???” “Also did you hear that asshole talking shit behind your back” is another phrase we say a lot.

FabGrandma adds her opinion:

There ain’t no way in hell I’d ever apologize to a dog. Or her pet.

From Excrement Alert:

Debbie shares one I had forgotten about:

I had no idea that we had common ancestors. Your mom sounds just like my dad. And I often wonder now that I have kids if he ever thought about what he said! His favorite was, “You’d better see a doctor. Something has crawled up in you and died.” Ah, good times.

The Over Thinker over shares:

Poop, etc. in our household: If I head to the bathroom, my husband always says, “Have fun stormin’ the castle!” When our cats fart, my husband says, “Jesus. Their farts always smell like McDonalds!”

Just Beachy blabs on her son:

My son’s favorite saying is poop-deck. Like, ah, poop-deck. Sorta like shit-mittens.

Hyphen Mama gives us a glimpse into her home life:

I tell my husband “You put the Poo in Pookie!” We’re trying to teach Wynnie “Pull my finger” She’ll be a riot at her preschool parties!

Lou appreciates my mother:

Speak!! Oh, toothless one!! I think I would have loved your mother.

Daysgobyenriches the list:

fart sayings: There goes that fog horn/ frog again! You were saying? One of the cats must have just learned how to fly. Who ate the beans yesterday? Ah, shit mittens! (I like that!)

From Blunk Drogging:

The Over Thinker makes an offer:

May I please do the ceremony? Don’t forget that I’m an internet revered. And I’m friggin’ envious of your phone plan. So, is it safe to say that you won’t be floating in a canoe anytime soon? Even so, maybe we could do the ceremony in a canoe–symbolism and all that jazz.

Warrior Woman allows:

You’re right that was a damn good post. And I wanna be the friggin flower girl. Packs of smokes in lieu of gifts. I’m wear black because I think white will make me burst into flames, plus I don’t own any other color.

Lou asks the million dollar question:

Can I be a pet?

And? From SIL Twice Removed

The winnah is…

Warrior Witch, who sharpens her knives on my SIl Twice Removed thusly:

Mother of God – Who dressed her? She looks like she got into a fight with a table cloth and lost. Nice face, did she steal it from a troll?

Posted in Peep of the Week
August 27th, 2008 | 5 Comments »

From The Vagina Rocks

The Overthinker:

Yup. It’s a hoo-hoo. With maybe a side of ding-dong :)

Nan

I AM THE FIRST COMMENTER! Do I get a prize? Vaginas do rock, thank you very much. They are our friends, and anything that reminds one of a vagina has to be a powerful symbol of wonderfulness. If you can’t get stuff done with your vagina, however, you might try slamming a few doors and going “OUT!” My advice is free, ladies.

From Rolling With the Rellies

Lou:

Ah. She needs a script for ‘Beano’. I love that stuff. Because when you DO fart on that stuff, they. are. killers.

Knudsey:

a double mastectomy fffuuucccckkkkkkk! do they leave the nipples on? just asking as i have no experience with this except gurlyboys. Glad you had a good time except for the ER as they are never good times, remember better out than in.

From Psychic Boobies

Evyl:

I can see phyic stuff by staring at boobs so when women look at me in disgust for straing at their chest they should know that I am actually foretelling their future and it would help if they were naked. Join the viral campaign on Evyl’s mom and vote her for freak of the week at http://purefnevyl.wordpress.com/ Evyl’s mom is so freakishly dumb she wears condoms on her ears so she will not get hearing aides.

And the winnah is…

Andy Bailey:

psychic bewbs! lol left bewb: hey, righty, I know what you’re thinking right bewb: I knew you was going to say that!

Posted in Peep of the Week