May 7th, 2009 | 23 Comments »

Krissa felt sorry for my sorry arse (which we have named Herman) because I was posting so little, and she done went and memed me. This exercise is a little bit harder than Grace In Small Things, because you only have to name five that you are thankful for. But seven things I love?

  • The smell of a wood fire
  • The garden
  • A clean house
  • Puppies, oh, I loves me some puppies.
  • My offspring
  • Tulips
  • Quilts

I’m not tagging anyone on this, but would love to read your list.

Posted in memes
January 14th, 2009 | 19 Comments »

I was talking with Talina, who had tagged me for a meme, and expressed the thought that I have exhausted all information about myself, if indeed, any of my readers were at all interested in more crap about me.

She was all “What? You never had a gay boyfriend?”

From that question was born the six non-important things about me:

  • I had a boyfriend that didn’t know he was gay until long after we broke up. We stayed friends because we always made each other laugh our holes out. The weird thing? My sister married his uncle, who came out of the closet early in the marriage. He used to call his uncle “Aunt Bobby”.
  • I have to have a new photograph taken for the psychic network that I am forbidden to name. I’m freaking out about it. I need a photographer with a soft lens. Angella, can you teleport that lensbaby to me?
  • I usually get ideas for blog stories by drinking wine and recalling them to Warrior Woman. The stories are all true.
  • I have a fabulous visual memory, but am essentially dyslexic when it comes to all things auditory. I can barely remember a well-known voice over the phone, and I totally can’t remember a tune. Nobody wants to hear me sing. Nobody.
  • I don’t bite my nails.
  • I used to be a clean freak. You would never suspect it now.

I put this out there to everyone who is stuck for blog fodder. I had thought about making up my own meme, but I suspect it would include devious ways to get your spouse to do domestic chores, or the fabulousness of my neti pot, and really, who needs that?

Posted in memes
December 19th, 2008 | 15 Comments »

I’m brain dead I hardly ever do this, but I’m going to post this meme that I stole from Ree, who stole it from Jess. Before I do, though, I want to point out that I always thought meme came from the french for same. And that’s how I pronounce it. No me-me here, folks.

Things you’ve already done: bold
Things you want to do: italicize
Things you haven’t done and don’t want to – leave in plain font

1. Started your own blog. Several, actually. This is the only one I’ve sustained for more than a month or two.
2. Slept under the stars. In a big wind. Eejit. Young
3. Played in a band. That would require musical talent.
4. Visited Hawaii. I’m all about getting lei’d and pulling pork.
5. Watched a meteor shower. It’s an annual occasion. With wine. And my highschool BFF. At her house.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity. I also have residual back pain from it.
7. Been to Disneyland/World. Yes, I’m that person who has no desire to stand in long lines in the sun with cranky children. Bite me.
8. Climbed a mountain. Does Simpson’s Hill count?.
9. Held a praying mantis. Would it bite me?
10. Sang a solo. In grade one. The humiliation convinced me that the only place my singing sounded good was in my head.
11. Bunge jumped.
12. Visited Paris. For the food, not the rude.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea. Wicked.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch. More a craft.
15. Adopted a child. Fantasized about adopting mine out when he was fifteen. I’m feeling MUCH better now.
16. Had food poisoning. Wasn’t even nauseous during pregnancies.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty. Do I LOOK like I work out?
18. Grown your own vegetables. Would love to do it again.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France. Again, the food.
20. Slept on an overnight train.. From east coast to west coast of Canada. Highly overrated.
21. Had a pillow fight.. Isn’t that what pillows are for?
22. Hitch hiked.. Again. Eejit. Young.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill.. Yer lying if you said you haven’t.
24. Built a snow fort.. Yes. Snow was free. It was our toy.
25. Held a lamb.. And a goat kid. Regular kids too.
26. Gone skinny dipping..Oh, yeah. *fans face*
27. Run a Marathon. Are you even kidding me?
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice..
29. Seen a total eclipse. I was in the mall when it happened. I hear it’s bad for the eyes.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.. More sunsets than sunrises.
31. Hit a home run.. Yes, yes, I have. Probably an accident.
32. Been on a cruise.. Oh, Lord. The food. The cruise wear. No.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person..
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.. Was born there.
35. Seen an Amish community.. They frown on drinking, smoking and cussing, don’t they? And general sloth?
36. Taught yourself a new language..
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied..Working on it.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing.. I was a mountain goat as a kid. Geddit? Kid?
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David. Statue of nekkid man? I hear the food’s good there.
41. Sung karaoke..Trust me, nobody wants to hear me sing.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.. That was our nickname for my husband’s penis. Not that it was faithful to me, but that it could be counted on to erupt regularly.TMI? Okay, I made that up then.
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant..You have a problem with that?
44. Visited Africa..
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.. Oh, yes. Memories.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.. Why, yes, yes I have. It could have been far worse.
47. Had your portrait painted. Been there, done that.
48. Gone deep sea fishing..
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.. Not necessary. I can do remote viewing. It’s awesome. No security checkpoints.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris..
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling.. .
52. Kissed in the rain.. Good clean fun.
53. Played in the mud.. Good dirty fun.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater.. More good dirty fun.
55. Been in a movie.. Does a documentary count? If so, then I was totally in a movie.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.. You may get the sense that I travelled so much as a kid I’m over it now. You might be right.
57. Started a business..
58. Taken a martial arts class. You’re kidding me, right?
59. Visited Russia.. I hear it’s cold and full of Russians.
60. Served at a soup kitchen.. Yup. Soup was not on the menu.
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies. Can you believe it?
62. Gone whale watching..Most awesome experience ever. Wicked.
63. Gotten flowers for no reason.. Yes. Hate the guilt flowers though.
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma.. I didn’t faint.
65. Gone sky diving.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp.. Ewww, the vibes…
67. Bounced a check.. Oooops! Hasn’t everyone?
68. Flown in a helicopter..
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy..Childhood fire wiped out the childhood artifacts.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial..
71. Eaten Caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job – Apparently those mental health days caught up with me.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guard in London Ottawa. They also have the ceremony in Ottawa, which I totally saw.
77. Broken a bone…
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle. With an extreme hottie.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person..
80. Published a book.. Have neither the talent nor the discipline.
81. Visited the Vatican.. The Pope hasn’t requested my presence yet.
82. Bought a brand new car.. Sold cars. Never buy new.
83. Walked in Jerusalem. What? No donkey? I would like to do Jerusalem on Shrek’s donkay.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper.. Many times. They love psychics.
85. Read the entire Bible.. Bet you didn’t know that, did you?
86. Visited the White House..
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.. We never named our chickens anything but dinner.
88. Had chickenpox.. And Mumps & Measles.
89. Saved someone’s life.. While fearing for my own. Not what you think.
90. Sat on a jury..
91. Met someone famous.. Yes, but fame in Canada is slightly different.
92. Joined a book club.. Not a joiner.
93. Lost a loved one.. Still hurts.
94. Had a baby. It was so much fun, I did it twice.
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake.. Why would I want to do that?
97. Been involved in a law suit..
98. Owned a cell phone.. Hope I never will.
99. Been stung by a bee.. Hornet. The sap from Calendula leaves takes the sting away in about ten minutes.

Now it’s obvious that I have no desire to see foreign countries anymore except for the food, but I have done a few things in my time. What about you? And who answers no to the first question if they do the meme?

Posted in memes
August 5th, 2008 | 17 Comments »

The very lickable Ree has sworn to punish me because I didn’t make a psychic drawing of Practice Husband back in the day for her.

She wants me to list eight things I want to do before I die. I did a lot of travelling when I was a kid, so that novelty has worn off. Especially with all the security measures involved these days. These are in no particular order, and off the top of my head, so are subject to change.

1. Have my children outlive me.

2. Own a smart car. I love those things. And it’s been ten years since I owned a car.

3. Retire to a Bed and Breakfast in the town I was born. Right on the sea. Have teenaged girls do the cleaning and laundry. I’ll cook and tell stories. I could hold special psychic weekend thingies.

4. Find a wonderful wife for Ass Burger Boy. He still lives at home. I would miss him, but I want him to have that for himself. Besides, I would like to have someone I would feel safe leaving the heirlooms with.

5. Have a healing centre and artist’s retreat.

6. Visit with my bloggy friends, or get the house cleaned up enough for them to visit me.

7. Pay my brother Dizzee the money I owe him.

8. Meet Lucy in da Sky, the shaman from Texas that I totally adore.

Now for the tagging:

Jacki

Christy

JennFL

Warrior Woman

FabGrandma

Teenie

Coast Rat

Candy

Posted in memes
April 23rd, 2008 | 15 Comments »

Today is the day of the brain fog. Trying to find a story that would magically tell itself did not happen. So while cruising other blogs, I came across the Queen of Memes, Candy. She’s the Queen because she says they fill her with happiness. I know who to tag when I have a meme to unload, by golly.

You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.

Not as easy as you might think.
Remember: one word answers.

1.Where is your mobile phone? non-existant

2.Your significant other? Ditto

3.Your hair? Drying

4.Your mother? Dead

5.Your father? Not

6.Your favorite thing? Computer

7.Your dream last night? Forgettable

8.Your favorite drink? Merlot

9.Your dream/goal? Attainable

10.The room you’re in? Huge

11.Your ex? Forsaken

12.Your fear? Pain

13.Where do you want to be in 6 years? Here

14.Where were you last night? Home

15.What you’re not? Gullible

16.Muffins? No

17.One of your wish list items? Camera

18.Where you grew up? Canada

19.The last thing you did? Showered

20.What are you wearing? Jammies

21.Your TV? Old

22.Your pets? Imaginary

23.Your computer? Plaything

24.Your life? Boring

25.Your mood? Crappy

26.Missing someone? Mom

27.Your car? Imaginary

28.Something you’re not wearing? Bra

29.Favorite Store? Hiltribe

30.Your summer? Travelling

31.Like someone? Most

32.Your favorite color? Green

33.When is the last time you laughed? Today

34.Last time you cried? Dunno.

Anybody who is hard up for a story? Feel free to use this. I’d tag Candy, but I already stole this one from her

Posted in memes