August 30th, 2008 | 21 Comments »

Written late last night:

I never had the urge to blog when I had a drink in me, but Warrrior Woman’s contest changed my mind. (A bit)

See, I just spent the last three hours on the phone (while drinking wine!) with my beloved shaman friend in Texas, Lucy in da Sky. I have a kick arse long distance plan where calls cost me 25ยข, no matter how long we talk.

When I first encountered her online, my phone bills to Texas would be easily $600 per month. Really. And I had dialup internet. Yes, it was more than ten years ago. I just had to talk to her every day. It was more important than food. I had found a kindred spirit.

The two of us have the dirtiest laughs evah. Except for my mom. She had an even dirtier laugh than us. But Mom’s dead now, so we dirty laugh supreme. And laugh? Oh Mah Holy Hell do we laugh.

We analyze the motives behind all the political goings on. We have it all figured out. We have determined that nobody in government has our best interests at heart. Radical concept, but we believe it thoroughly.

We hear clicks on the line and coo to the Homeland Security folks. Tell them that they might want to load up on coffee; this is going to be a long and boring conversation. (for them)

We have determined that Gustav is a maverick, and we fear his wrath. We think it will be worse than Katrina. There are a lot of things to talk about in three hours.

She fears for her future in the Ewe Ess of Ay. People in Texas fear anybody who is different. She. Is different. They can smell her difference.

I love her so much that I told her that I would marry her. It’s legal in Canada. I told her not to worry about that pesky sex thing. I’m not a canoe licker anyway, but we would have a spiritual marriage. The finest possible kind. If I got horny I could keep outside pets.

So how is that for blunk drogging? I proposed marriage to a woman (a woman!) that I love with all my heart, but have never even seen a picture of.

But? I have seen her heart.


It is glorious.

Warrior Woman? If that doesn’t win your contest, you can place that pentagram where the sun don’t shine.

Posted in contests
August 29th, 2008 | 9 Comments »

Warrior Woman came to my house last evening. I was expecting to feed her, and was starving when I got the call that she had already eaten.

Ass Burger Boy and I dove into my jazzed up rice and sun dried tomato sausage, with a side of garlicy yellow beans. We was hungry puppies.

I had saved the wine bottles from her previous five visits. We wanted to start a collection. They stood on the living room floor, where I had left them. She took pictures with her new camera. We set her up on our network.I didn’t take a picture of her and ABB on the sofa, each with their laptop. Since both she and I blog anonymously, the pictures would reveal too much. I did mention parallel play.

She’s having a contest at her site. You really should go over and see the prizes. She wants you to blog drunk. Since I generally blog in the morning or early afternoon, I don’t believe that I will win. Bonus! You don’t actually have to be drunk. She’s all kinds of awesome that way.

Extra bonus: She took a picture of me in my natural habitat, wearing my all-time favourite polar fleece jammies. I took the other pictures with her new camera. There’s one of her in there, incognito, of course. Go see.

June 8th, 2008 | 1 Comment »

After much nagging (by moi) to move from the evil blogspot to WordPress, my blog buddy,Memarie Lane bit the bullet and packed her posts and comments over to her own domain name.

Only problem with that is that she lost her Google Page Rank. So we need to remedy that. Yes, it was my bad, but you all can help. She’s having herself a great housewarming giveaway contest thing with lots of cool prizes.

See the pretty button on the sidebar? You could win one of your own choosing. It probably wouldn’t say Memarie Lane because that wouldn’t be your blog, but hey, you get my drift, dontcha?

A blog header is also up for grabs, and I do love me some blog headers. Also, some pretty cool books. You just get yourself over there and enter her contest, and you can not only help her page rank, but maybe win yourself some cool schwag.

Also? Tell her how pretty it looks over there, because it does. And the same talented designer who made her blog so pretty is offering the button and header. Cool huh?

What are you waiting for? Make sure you tell her I sent you. Scoot!

Posted in contests
May 24th, 2008 | 9 Comments »

My Giveaway for a $100 American Airlines voucher has a winner. I went to because I just could not pick a winner without it. In the course of this giveaway, I discovered a new blog or two that I subscribed to. selected The Over Thinker. I’ll just shoot you an email, darlin, and I have a US stamp all ready to put that puppy in the mail.

Congratulations, and thanks to all who entered.

Posted in contests
May 19th, 2008 | 22 Comments »

I know that some of you may be considering a trip to San Francisco for the BlogHer conference this summer, and some others of you may have other travel plans.

I have a $100 voucher for American Airlines up for grabs. It’s valid until August 03, 2008. Sound okay?

Just link to this giveaway for your chance to win. Tell your blog buddies.

It’s a decent prize for the travel minded.

Winner announced on Saturday next

To those who have been wondering: Yes, I’m feeling poorly right now, but with any luck, I’ll live. I just don’t feel pretty and witty right now.

HOORAY! The Purple Plates site is now working in Firefox and IE7. The IE6 code will have to wait until tomorrow.