June 7th, 2008

I had a dream the other night that I was at bingo. I seldom go since my Mom died, because it’s something we did together, and well, I turned into a snotbag when I went without her.

Ass Burger Boy knew this, and graciously volunteered to go with me, so I wouldn’t be alone and prone to the snotfest. Isn’t he sweet?

I don’t exactly know why I thought I should go, it isn’t as if I dreamed I would win or anything. And? Have you ever been to bingo and watched the people around you?

Nobody smiles. Even when they win. I heard one woman who won almost $500 mutter “It’s about goddamn time, after all the money I put into this.” If they’re going for fun, I’d have to give them a fail.

If you’re in a good mood, and talking with your companion, or strike me dead laughing, you are on the receiving end of the bingo hall death ray stare. It seems that laughter is verboten at bingo.

The only time there was any real hilarity at bingo was at my expense. I once went with Mom and her friend in the valley. The tree in her friend’s yard had ripe plums on it, and I ate quite a few of them, not thinking that plums, when dried, are prunes. These were fresh, ripe, and delicious.

The rumblings coming from my tummy announced the fool who had been eating fresh plums, and the dashes to the washroom underlined just what fool it was. Everytime I scraped my chair back, the tables around me tittered.

I was happy to provide some amusement. Because bingo? Full of sour-looking, cranky faces.

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13 Responses to “Bingo”

warriorwoman Says:

I love bingo – NOT.

You’re right, nobody smiles.
One of the last times I went with the girls, we spent our time laughing at the people bingo attracts. And bingo attracts some interesting people.
My favourite are the square shaped, overweight women who wear their bras so tight that, under their too-small white t-shirts, they look like they have boobs on their backs as well as their fronts.

Mmmmm……..love bingo – not

warriorwomans last blog post..my friend

Jenny Says:

I agree with WW… people watching is the MOST fun part of bingo.

But I wouldn’t mind winning $500.

Jennys last blog post..Meme Friday

Heidi Says:

Whoa, you gotta find yourself a new bingo parlor. Many years ago I got a serious case of Bingo Fever for a summer. (It was a handy distraction from the yearning of a long-distance relationship.) Talk about cheap entertainment–what a hoot! It was a very funny, lively group of ladies. The only drawback was having to put up with the choking cigarette smoke. B 6!

moo Says:

I adore BINGO! and I go with my mom. We mock everyone else there and yes, we get the Stare Of Death from those around us … which just makes us laugh even more.

When you go consistenly to bingo and don’t win, it’s extremely frustrating. But whenever we DO win, it’s SUPER exciting!

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Coast Rat Says:

TOO FUNNY! Plums, prunes… at least you added some excitement to the place that evening. It’s pretty neat that ABB volunteered to accompany you.

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Old Knudsen Says:

I saw a sign for ‘extreme bingo’ I wonder just how dangerous it is.

Old Knudsens last blog post..Friends Beg Sienna To Enter Rehab

christy Says:

We didn’t have bingo in our town–too close to gambling.

Also a dry county…..

But it sounds like I didn’t miss much….

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Ree Says:

I remember when I was constipated, my mother used to feed me plums while I was sitting on the toilet!

Rees last blog post..Friday Haiku – Summer Arrives

AssBurgerBoy Says:

at least in greece, you can still smoke in bingo. come to think of it, they smoke everywhere. damn, I need to become a citizen!

teeni Says:

Yeah and those ladies can be vicious too. They used to all say in unison, “Same winners, allllll the timmmmme.” Each time somebody won where my aunt used to go. She was a regular, twice a weeker. She’d go one place on one day and another place on another weekday. I don’t think she won much but she never missed going.

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lceel Says:

I NEVER win at Bingo. Thus the reason I don’t go when invited. And if I ever do go, I’ll be sure to avoid fresh fruits beforehand. Just to be safe.

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Jenn Says:

My mother used to go three nights a week with my aunt. I don’t know if they ever won. I tried my hand at Bingo with a friend and was shushed … she used to dab my numbers for me because I was so busy talking that I would miss them. No wonder I didn’t win.

Jenns last blog post..My New Favourite Website

Linda Says:

Well Shoot!

I’m just catching up on my blogs and realized you had a birthday!

Sounds like it was a ton of fun. I’m with you. I enjoy a boring birthday and always glad when it’s over.

Of course I’d probably complain if NO ONE did anything.

So happy b-lated B-day Baby!

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