October 20th, 2008

I was having a deep discussion the other night about how psychic abilities go down the tubes when the psychic is horny. It’s like they just can’t inhabit the same headspace. Not helpful. Maybe it’s the same quirk that doesn’t get me lottery numbers. You have to be utterly relaxed to do psychic work, and horniness and greed are more exciting than relaxing, durnit.

My particular solution was to take the object of my lust affections to my mildly amusing OCD stepmother. She comes from old Irish stock and has a bit of the fey about her. And the cheap. She used to get my telepathic messages to call me, but would put it off until I wound up calling her, thereby saving long distance charges.

Back to the boyfriend-vetting. I would watch her eyes when I introduced her to my particular prize of the moment. If she was uncomfortable with him, her left eye would commence to twitching. Really, it was something to behold, bordering on Tourette’s Syndrome behaviour.

That was the bad boyfriend alert. Not that I always listened to it, because I wanted to take him around the block a bit first, if you get my drift. *patented innocent look #523*

The funniest part? With all the twitching going on, the bad boyfriends thought she was winking at them, and took it as an invite.

Heh. They clearly didn’t know my father well.

This entry was posted on Monday, October 20th, 2008 at 8:32 am and is filed under Mildly Amusing OCD Stepmother. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

9 Responses to “Bad Boyfriend Radar”

Talina Says:

That is very amusing actually. How fun it must have been… I mean she can’t lie and say she likes him to appease you, you’ll just know the truth no matter what she says.

Krissa Says:

So did it ever work against you? You know, her twitching being mistaken for winking? Or I guess it could have just scared them right into your arms…?

Krissas last blog post..me me me me memmed.

Jenny Says:

There’s got to be money in the Bad Boyfriend Radar. Think of all the women who’d pay dearly to have a “scan” like that!

Jennys last blog post..Prayer Circle

warriorwoman Says:

Is your bad boyfriend radar anything like my bat radar?
you know, where bells and whistles go off when one of them is about to prove himself a psychopath.

warriorwomans last blog post..my ass hurts

teeni Says:

Wow! Interesting. I bet you found other ways to use those senses for evil too. LOL.

Ree Says:

My only hint was my father going for his gun. Oh wait – he did that to ALL my boyfriends.

Rees last blog post..Travel Day

old knudsen Says:

The Fey can be so unpredictable at times but nought wrong with being cheap.

I know that about the lotto numbers but i like to give the Universe the chance to change its mind, oh I won $2 this week whoo hoo!

old knudsens last blog post..Well Dressed Mong

Cat Says:

Thank goodness for OCD stepmothers!

Cats last blog post..Indegestion or The Plague?

Minnesota Matron Says:

In graduate school, I asked my friends who was the most ‘interesting’ man? My pick? The one who just moved here with his live-in fiance. My friends said, “Mary, you fool, he has Trouble written all over him.”

Did I need more directives, straight toward him? And yes, he was Trouble, more than happy to cheat on the woman that is now his wife. After being the ‘other woman’ once, I’ll never do that again, to myself or another woman!

But when young, horny and bent on trouble. . . .sigh.

Minnesota Matrons last blog post..The Periodic Dr. Matronly Lecture