March 28th, 2008

Skinny Bitch has two children, Heartstopper, and George. They call him George after George Costanza on Seinfeld. He plans to stay in his room forever and never move out.

When they were little, Skinny Bitch caught them smoking. Being the perverse parent she is, she made an announcement.

“Go to your rooms and pack your bags. I’m calling the police to take you to the Home for Children Who Smoke.”

There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Heartstopper emerged from her room with a pronouncement.

“I quit!”

Neither has smoked since, although Skinny Bitch took up smoking at the age of 32, when she was imprisoned in a halo for five months with nothing else to do.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 28th, 2008 at 12:49 pm and is filed under Skinny Bitch, little bits. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

16 Responses to “Another Proud Skinny Bitch Moment”

Mylifeasmomma Says:

HAHA! If it had been me I would have shown them what a pair of smokers lungs look like.
Her way works too!

Mylifeasmomma’s last blog post..Things kids do that I ponder on

Ree Says:

I love that woman.

Ree’s last blog post..Calm and Serene

warriorwoman Says:

I just looked up halo brace. I’d probably have taken up smoking something more than tobacco.

warriorwoman’s last blog post..?hey bartender, I’ll have another?

Old Knudsen Says:

I don’t think much of her teaching her kids how to quit at an early age, she should have supported them and helped them become successful smokers.

Old Knudsen’s last blog post..The Pooka Made Me Do It

daysgoby Says:

I love this! *Frantic filing away in the File For Future Nasty Things To Do To The Bad Two

daysgoby’s last blog post..reminder

Jennifer H Says:

Although I generally frown upon “I’m taking you to the children’s home” threats, this one just might be worth it.

Nicely done.

Jennifer H’s last blog post..Wildflowers and wildness

talina Says:

I aspire to parent like her what I finally have kids!

talina’s last blog post..Just got electrocuted but I am feeling good..

teeni Says:

Does she know she has a cult following on here now?

teeni’s last blog post..The Archive Meme

Allyn Paul Says:

Yep, the halo woulda drove me to smoke a lot of strong stuff. Like stronger than Pall Mall non-filters!
But other than that, I love running on the treadmill too much and smoking just ain’t that sexy when you’re “sweatin to the oldies,” ya know?

Allyn Paul’s last blog post..Granular Weed-n-Feed for Lawns: The Real Environmental Problem

amanda Says:

If I’m ever in a halo, power’s above forbid, I think I’ll take smoking back up.

amanda’s last blog post..The Movers Stole My Panties?

mommyknows Says:

hahaha …

mommyknows’s last blog post..Excuses, Excuses

Marie in Maine Says:

Skinny Bitch sounds like a very creative mom!

Marie in Maine’s last blog post..Double or Nothin?

Jenny Says:

When is the Skinny Book on Parenting coming out?

Jenny’s last blog post..Smacked with Weird Nostalgia

kailani Says:

I hope I’m as brave when my girls get older! Way to go!

kailani’s last blog post..Giveaway: J. AUSTIN Ryan Designs

zoe Says:

when amonte started a small fire i took him to the trauma burn unit at the university hospital to meet a burn victim. he was sufficiently traumatized.

zoe’s last blog post..Double your Pleasure

Remorseful Perverse Parenting Says:

[...] a higher note, her brother Georgie went to the Canada Games with his [...]