June 29th, 2009 | 10 Comments »

I knew I was going to be away from my keyboard for a while, so I put out a last minute begging session for a guest poster or two, and lo and behold, good ole Laura stepped up to the plate. And life was good. I’ve been reading her since I started reading blogs, and she is smart, sassy, talented and a very hot looking mom. Go visit her. She’s all kinds of awesome.

Her post follows. Hope I got the links right. Thank you, Laura!

For the last two days i have been infected by something that has been keeping me up at nights, giving me that uncomfortable annoying feeling that i can’t quite shake.

Ladies and germs, i have an earworm. That irritating tune that runs over and over again inside your mind… like an audio worm has crawled right inside you and has gnawed off the intelligent part of your brain.

I don’t know how, or when it happened – but over the course of the last 48 hours I have, going over and over again in my brain, “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-a-lot. All over the house i’ve been humming it, as i run errands i’m singing under my breath: “…so your girlfriend drives a Honnnnda, plays workout tapes by Fonnnnda, well Fonda ain’t got a motor in the back of HER honda, my ANACONDA. don’t. want. non. unless-you-got. BUNS. hon.”

For someone who is so musically inclined, i have a horrible memory for lyrics. B-rad always corrects me when i sing lyrics wrong – he has a photographic memory or something, but it seems like I am constantly singing the words to the songs I like wrong.

So – with my track record for lyrical memory being what it is, WHY IS IT that i can remember all the words to the Big Mac jingle? or to Tommy Twotone’s Jenny? 867-530-niiii-ee-iiine….

I have always had this problem. Earworms.

But the absolute worst was when my son, Chewie, was born 8 weeks early and was in the hospital – I had “The Most Beautiful Girl in the Room” by Flight of the Concords running through my head… and everytime I would come into the hospital to visit my baby it would trigger the song all over again.

I wanted to literally tear my hair out of my head to make the song stop. Gah!
There were moments when I’d be getting up to go to the bathroom, and in the half asleep bleary eyed moments of my post-partum worried-sick-about-my-preemie son induced sadness…. the words started running through my head like one of those light up dealies that they show stocks on…. “and when you’re on the street, depending on the street, your are most definitely in the top three…Good looking girls on the street… depending on the street…” and I started crying.

How could I explain to B-rad that the reason I was crying was because I just couldn’t get that song out of my head? I felt like a crazy person.

According to this study “…women, musicians and people who are neurotic, tired or stressed are most prone to earworm attacks…” well… i guess that pretty much sums up why I wanted to tear my ears off… I was/am all of those things – and being stressed out and tired must have amplified the earworm.

Eventually The Flight of the Concords found their way out of my head….but it was there for a good solid 12-15 days. I am hesitant to listen to that song, even now, remembering how badly it was stuck in there.

Flash forward almost a year… Baby got back. We’re not quite at the level of The Flight of the Concords, but we ARE into day two – anything more than one day now, and I start to get a little worried.

They say the only way to get an earworm out of your head is to infect another person, and I’ve tried… I’ve tried singing it around the house, mentioning it to the B-rad, nothing! No go! I’ve tried listening to the entire song, but all that’s done is reinforce lyrics I didn’t remember before.

When Psychicgeek took me up on my offer to guest post for her i sat here staring at my blank screen for half a day. Nothing. Not one thing came to my mind…except “littleinthemiddlebutshegotmuchback…
….littleinthemiddlebutshegotmuchback…..”

So, here we are… and I’m passing my earworm on to you (sorry)… but I am interested to know what songs get stuck in your head constantly? In this post alone I’ve – hopefully – pawned off several of my own earworms…. and i realize this could be a very dangerous post/comment thread – so I apologize now for any earworm infection that may be caused as a result from reading this!

Love,
Laura

Posted in crazy friends
June 24th, 2009 | 7 Comments »

I’ll be leaving early Thursday morning en route to Skinny Bitch’s city. I’m travelling much lighter than I usually do because of the nerve irritation in my neck. I’m not supposed to lift much.

So I got me a toy computer to record my sound files on, and since it has a wireless card that is speedy, I can upload them to the server. Built in mic and webcam, so less to lug around. It fits in a normal sized purse. It’s kind of the Bic of computers. It was so cheap I wasn’t about to shell out an extra $80 for two more years factory warranty. Bic.

Of course, it takes forever to bookmark sites and type in old passwords to web admin sites. Luckily for me, I had the good sense to write them down in my little six ring binder that also serves as a mobile datebook. The only way the data will be lost on the datebook is if I can no longer decipher my scribbles. Or if there is a flood or fire. Still, flood or fire will so scroo an electronic keeper of information.

Ass Burger Boy is ecstatic and has already transferred all of my data off the clunky big laptop, which he has dubbed ‘his precious’ and promptly taken to work with him. I don’t think he’ll miss me.

Of course, I will be staying with Skinny Bitch. Any time I go to her city, it’s a given I will stay with her. I desperately need to laugh my self silly, tears streaming down my face, maybe even peeing a little. Now that we don’t have torture to plot for the now ex Mr. SB, we will have to find other ways to amuse our bad selves.

I may or may not get kidnapped after the show.

There will only be internet access at the venue, where I’ll probably be busy with work. With any luck at all. I may be tweeting like a dirty little bird, but probably won\t be posting here while I’m gone. I linked this post heavily to give you something to catch up on while I’m away.

June 22nd, 2009 | 12 Comments »

One of the many things that Ass Burger Boy is sensitive to is touch. He cannot handle people touching him unexpectedly. To this day, he will ask for a hug, and I won’t give him one unless he knows it is coming. It’s just the way he is. We hug lots, it just needs a verbal introduction.

When he was a wee infant, I had the most crazy-making task of bathing him. With! Water! Oh, the pain! Big bath, little bath, sponge bath, it all set him off terribly. It wasn’t until he was able to sit up without assistance before I could really introduce him to a proper bath.

I started by sitting him in a plastic wee tub, filled with toys. He was happy about this. Next, I put the plastic toy-filled tub inside the regular sized tub. While he was happily playing with the toys, I put a small amount of warm water from a pitcher in the wee tub. Gradually, I increased the amount, and finally, when I felt he was comfortable, he graduated to the big tub.

This story was to illustrate just how gradually he needs to be introduced to external stimuli.

Last night, he comes home with a girl he had been talking to online for quite a while. No warning, brings her in through the kitchen with all the food prep mess(soaking pots, etc) and drags her over to be introduced.

I ask if he’s hungry and begin to prepare supper. I come out to ask if she is one of those people who won’t eat in front of others to determine just how much I should make. (Note: I wouldn’t eat from a kitchen that looked like that if it weren’t my own.)

They are on the living room sofa, and she is draped all over him, all snuggly and romantic. Shortly, thereafter, she announces that she has to study, and, oh, my! she will get lost going back to the dorm without him to accompany her. I’m thinking “Study, my foot”, but say nothing. It’s obvious to me the girl is horny and wants some alone time with ABB.

He goes out with her, WITHOUT EATING HIS SUPPER. This boy treasures his grub. And I’m not overly thrilled to make a meal that will go uneaten.

He had no.clue. that she wanted some “alone time” with him. I had to tell him. He wonders why she didn’t just say so. Hah. She’s a 19 year old girl, that’s why.

Today, he tells me that he explained to her how he doesn’t like to be touched unexpectedly, and that they didn’t “do” anything.

I respond by commenting about protection, because it only takes once.

He says he will use a gun for protection. Funny.

I say even if it’s shooting blanks, you’re only half protected. I can be funny too.

Now, he’s wondering just how hard it will be to have a girlfriend if she expects all this touching stuff. He wants me to do the psychic thing and tell him if it will work out. I tell him that dating is practice for learning about one another, and it isn’t always easy, but it will give him skills to interact with someone he will love, much needed skills.

Now he has a lot to work out. This girl moves too fast for him, yet he longs for a girlfriend.

If only a girlfriend didn’t involve the touching thing…

Posted in Ass Burger Boy
June 18th, 2009 | 12 Comments »

The ever-loquacious Krissa had tons of questions she didn’t want to bother me with in regular emails, so I got her to include them in a separate email, so I could cobble a post from them. Thanks, sis.

  • When did you first realize you were gifted in “seeing”? Or however you put it? The first indication I had was when I was practicing palm reading on family members. I thought I knew them inside and out. Turns out I found out new stuff about them by reading their palms.
  • Is it a hereditary thing in your family? Dad used to dowse for well water. None of the other family members actually charged money for their various psychic talents. It’s what sets me apart as a Tool of Satan.
  • Can you just look at people and get feelings about them? Oh, yeah. My creep-o-meter even operates on photographs. Although I had one client who presented as normal, but stressed, and progressed to bat-shit crazy.
  • How much of the things that one see’s on TV, i.e. Medium, is accurate? Most of my information comes in trance, rather than sleep. I like to have some kind of control over what I get and when I get it. Allison Dubois is a real woman, and the series was based on her. Some psychics get their information solely in dreams. Clients don’t like having to wait overnight. They want the goods NOW.
  • Is “woman’s intuition”, kind of the same thing except not as advanced and/or accurate? It’s just as advanced and accurate. The trick is that people don’t trust the information they are given. I do.
  • Do you have telling dreams? When I bother to write my dreams down, they are loaded with information. Mostly, I just let them go. Too much information. Not enough ambition.
  • What do you do when jokers ask you for lottery numbers? I explain that if I could get the lottery numbers, I would be rich. However, getting any information in trance requires a calm attitude. I defy you not to get excited when looking for lottery win numbers. Same goes for picking mens. Psychic information needs a relaxed attitude. Horny ain’t relaxed.
  • What’s your best psychic reading story? The funniest is http://psychicgeek.com/bad-psychic
  • What are the differences in Clairvoyant, Medium, and Psychic? A clairvoyant gets visions, usually loaded with information, a medium connects with dead people, and psychic is a catchall that includes clairvoyance and mediumship.

Do you have questions? Send me an email through my contact form, so I can keep track of them, and I will try to address them.

Posted in Ask witchypoo
June 16th, 2009 | 14 Comments »
  • Help! I have this truncated feed that I can’t change because of all the Feedburner takeover by Google. If I activate a google ad sense account, can I change my feed settings from there? Because, I would hate to go to all that trouble and still not be able to do anything about it.
  • I have been also trying to change my BlogHer Ad settings to exclude flash. It slows page load time,(actually, the javascript involved is the main culprit) and I am not a fan of those survey bars that chase you all over the page until you close them. Not really having much luck with that one. I’m wondering if I should just suck it up and get rid of the ads. Any thoughts? They pay for my hosting, and some headers, but those amounts are deductible anyway, since this blog brings me bidness. It’s not as if I actually need the income from the ads. I’ve found I have been giving it away to various (non-deductible) people in need of funds or prezzies anyway.
  • My readings site server is going wonky since it is no longer on a static IP address. Which I understand, since it costs my buddy, the host, over 200 smackeroos a month, but I need a plan B. He offered to point my site to my blog server, which is great, except how can you do any pointing if the server that points is unaccessible on a regular basis? Any ideas?
  • Also, my readings site needs a major overhaul. When you land on the home page, it’s all about the healing, and nothing much about readings.Yet I have all these business cards out there that have the spotty access address. Also? The header is a lovely photo, but it kind of reminds me of The Vagina Rocks.
  • I am logged off today until I get some resolution from my telephone provider. My business line is all crackly and staticy. The phones I bought to use on that same line are less than six months old. The other phones sound the same way on that line. What is going on? Mercury retrograde is SO over.
Posted in bloggy things