March 24th, 2009 | 17 Comments »

I know you’re thinking the usual way, and you would be partly right.

As soon as the wedding cleanup was done with, my first husband and I immediately began to receive pressure from his parents to make them grandparents.

We had other concerns, like travel, non-stop sex, and naked housework. You know, things that would make the marriage kind of fun. You’re welcome.

About two years after the ceremony, we were discussing the issue in bed, where all friendly talks are held, IMHO.

We decided that we would discontinue the birth control and see what happened.

The husband removed the birth control dispenser from the nightstand and flung it out the window. All without even getting out of bed. Awesome.

The next day I bought feminine supplies in bulk because they were on sale. Guaranteed to bring on a pregnancy.

They didn’t get used for about 40 weeks.

Later that very same week, I felt something different while performing the marital duties. Something more than the usual “the earth moved”. I just knew that we had conceived Dances With Shrapnel at that very moment. Wasn’t expecting it quite so soon.

I had a repeat of the same feeling when I conceived Ass Burger Boy. Right after going off the birth control. Also? Right after buying feminine supplies in bulk because they were on sale.

Fuh-reaky.

For those who are having difficulty conceiving, I’m sorry. For those who puke your guts out, I only barfed once in each pregnancy. I’m a freak of nature.

March 23rd, 2009 | 10 Comments »

Nan asked me to explain how I got the heart icons to be my bullet images. You may have noticed in the address bar of your browser for this site, that it displays a small heart image. This is called a favicon. You can choose your own image to brand your site and make a favicon. The instructions are pretty well laid out on the following free site.

  • Go to http://www.favicongenerator.com/
  • Once you have your favicon in place, you will want to mess with your CSS. I’ve always wanted to say that. Heh.
  • Most CSS or stylesheets are documented, so that layout, sidebars, footers, headers, etc., are separated from the section we are interested in, which is main, or entries.
  • Trust me, you don’t want bullet images on your sidebar. In fact, I have set my sidebar bullets to not display. It’s tidier that way.
  • Under main, or entries, look for these tags: <ul><li>
  • Here’s the code from my site, yours will be slightly different:

#main .entryBox .entry ul,{
list-style:none;}

#main .entryBox .entry li {

list-style-image:url(images/favicon.ico);

padding: 2px;

}

  • Back up the old code in case of emergency.
  • Paste the bold code over your existing li code.
  • I suggested to Ree that she use her boot image.
  • Just upload your favicon.ico to your images folder and Bob’s your Uncle!
  • With this code in place in your stylesheet, it will display your favicon as a bullet image.
  • I’m not sure you can change the blogger favicon, but you can change the bullet styling on blogspot blogs. For blogspot bloggers, rename the image to whatever you like, with the filename .ico
  • Now show witchypoo your goodies.
Posted in bloggy things, the geek
March 20th, 2009 | 11 Comments »
  • Spring!
  • My plants indoors are happy
  • ABB read my blog and offered me the new camera for today.
  • A free Silva course that has helped my shoulder pain.
  • A friend who brings wine, especially when my paycheck is late.
  • My little heart bullet icons.
March 19th, 2009 | 13 Comments »

Inspiration. It comes to me from yarning while guzzling delicately sipping on a lovely red wine with friends. I keep a notebook beside me to jot blog post ideas on it.

Note the elegant wine stains. I’m all about the class.

I print the really good ones so I can read them the next day. My handwriting? Not so easy to decipher. Most of these ideas came from stories I told Warrior Woman. Oh, how we laughed at the time!

I just noticed that none of them are about poop or even farts. Well, technically, pussyfarts are about farts. They just aren’t the first thing you think of when you think of farts.

I sometimes wonder if I’m actually an 8 year old boy child. Heh.

Anything there you want to read about?

March 18th, 2009 | 15 Comments »
  • Ass Burger Boy has a job. With his first paycheck, he wanted to buy a new camera. I offered to buy his web cam to help him achieve his goal. He negotiated with me, just because he wanted to use his skills. So I paid $65 for something I have never used, and don’t really care to, so he could have his camera. And? He was $15 short after tax. That’s $80.
  • He used up the batteries in one freaking day.
  • This led to a frantic search for rechargeable batteries. Our charger did not work with these batteries. Our charger worked with a particular type of battery that is no longer available. $80 down the tubes.
  • He found another charger, plus batteries. With a replacement warranty plan. Another $112.
  • So he’s into me for about $130. Which was comforting when I went to buy a box of wine and discovered that there was not enough in the account to cover it. I wasn’t using my cash, so I did without. Even though the pain of tromping the freaking mall left me gasping.
  • I was thinking I might get domestic chores out of him in recompense, but it doesn’t look good. Once he gets what he wants, it seems what he agreed to do for it becomes unimportant.
  • I will get $60 back next pay, so I negotiated that I could share use of the camera for the remainder. So far, it has not left his grasping hands.
  • I wanted an image of my blog post idea notebook, and he was to take the image for me. It wasn’t readable. He suggested I use my scanner.
  • I had to explain all of these points to him since he was mystified as to why I was a tad cranky with him.
Posted in Ass Burger Boy