November 28th, 2008 | 18 Comments »

A friend of mine, the woman who helped me see my farts, has recently gotten into numerology. She offered to do my numbers for me, and I am sharing the result with you, because, really, isn’t it always about me? I think it was pretty accurate.

Life path # 7 (what you need to fulfill to be happy)

-spiritual energy –need to have faith in your life-need strong spiritual base-have natural psychic ability-meditation helps you use the ability wisely-can have a lethal tongue & mental steel door(if you don’t want someone in your life you’ll shut the door & that’s the end)-love of natural beauty, especially water, helps get you out of your head since you think too much-good at technical work-work is your passion-can excel at astrology & tarot card reading-also like to have an air if secrecy-need your own space.

Soul # 9(what you feel inside, not necessarily what others see)

-fulfilled by resolved old family issues that have caused pain

-by living in the moment

-by making a good living that involves contributing to humanity.

This is a bit of a challenge to your life path so may take some extra work.

Personality # 1 (the face you show the world)

-independent, self-motivated, must take the lead.

-do well being self-employed, do not enjoy taking orders.

-well meaning advice can be valuable, be open to suggestions.

Power name # 1 (the strength of your name-lets us know who you are)

-strong desire to be the best, strive for excellence.

-find healthy ways to relieve stress- a sport, work out etc…,

Destiny # 8 (characteristics that will show themselves in your lifetime)

-before you leave the planet, your destiny is to attain financial security.

-learn to understand the illusory nature of money

-you are here to learn the universe will meet your needs

-key is to keep sense of humor & stay focused on your goals, and then you will get what you really want out of life.

This is a challenge to your life path #, so it will take a little longer to express itself. If you wish, you can change or alter the spelling of the name you go by so that your current power name is the same as the destiny #.

Attitude # 2 (first impression)

-easygoing, the observer, intrigued with anything regarding psychic ability

-in touch with intuition & the metaphysical

Repeating # 1 – strive to be the best at everything you do, must overcome the little voice in your head that repeats ‘not good enough’…You are!!

November 25th, 2008 | 7 Comments »

The fabulous commentluv contest was a winner all round. There was one winner on my site, but I earned the moniker Jammy Cow for bringing in six, count em, six prizes.

A lot of new readers came to my blog because of the contest. Some of them were generous with their stumbling as well. I hope that everyone who entered and participated in the contest found it as beneficial as I did.

I’m still working on getting Zoe’s blogspot site installed with commentluv. The problem is on the JS-Kit site. It will retrieve her comments, but fails to write them. I have been trying various things such as using the original blogger feed rather than the feedburner redirect, but so far, no joy. I’ve been waiting for JS-Kit to get back to me. It seems they were recoding the core all week.

I’ve also been playing with my site, upgrading Wordpress, upgrading my theme, and then pasting the modified CSS into the new theme so things look like my site. If you look at the original theme, you would see quite a difference.

All of this is because there is a bug in my wordpress theme code. Don’t worry, it isn’t catching. But this bug prevents me from altering my plugin settings, and I have been trying to find a workaround so I can use the fabulous new Twitter plugin from the equally fabulous Andy Bailey, who brought us the commentluv plugin and the contest.

For some reason, right now it only works for me on this post. Go over there and see if it works for you, will you? You’ll see it’s working if a little twitter bird shows up after your comment.

Thanks, Andy, for the great plugins and the great contest!

November 24th, 2008 | 16 Comments »

I expect I am going to be doing some housekeeping on this site. There has been an upgrade to my original theme, which was modified beyond recognition. I’m hoping that the bug fixes will allow me to install the twitter plugin that Andy has been engrossed in last week.

If things look wonky, it is temporary. I have backups.

You may now return to your regular programming.

November 20th, 2008 | 27 Comments »

My sister has a friend that I always remember two ways: her excellent stories, and by a lasting visual image of her.

It is around this time of year, long before most of you were born. I’m at my sister’s apartment, and down the hall we hear quite a commotion. We rush to her friend’s door, and holler “Are you okay?” We are answered with a laughing “Ye-e-ess”, and then a giggled “Come in. I might need help.”

Inside, in all of her glory, is my sister’s friend. Flat on her back, unable to move. Why? The christmas tree has fallen on her. And she is shaking with laughter.

It’s so burned into my memory it could be a cartoon.

This is the same woman who objected to the roast her mother was thawing because she saw the blood. Her mother indignantly said: “That’s not blood. That’s MEAT JUICE.”If that weren’t enough, meat juice girl grew up to work in a supermarket. You guessed it. The meat department. There was a big spill of blood, and it made the floor slippery and hazardous. Another employee warned her to avoid the pool of blood.

What did she say?

Why yes, she said “That’s not blood. It’s meat juice!”

She was 20 years old at the time, and still blushes when she recounts the incident in the meat department.

I hope you are like me and remember a laughing friend every time you thaw a roast.

Posted in twice
November 19th, 2008 | 11 Comments »

The story is recycled, not the toilet. Just so ya know. It’s from a year or so ago, back when I had 300 hits per month.

One of the characteristics of autistic behaviours is obsessions. Come to think of it, I just might be autistic myself. But this isn’t about me. Hah!
Ass Burger Boy was obsessed with toilets ever since toilet training began. I think I may have helped to fuel this obsession, since I was pretty eager not to clean up poop.

This obsession impacted my older sister, who had taken ABB to Sears and was thoroughly mortified when he demonstrated his big boy skills in the display toilet. I don’t think she praised him for it. Encouragement is critical during toilet training. It may have set him back a bit.

By sheer accident, I stumbled onto the “What’s in it for me?” method of motivating ABB. I swear I knew the instant he was toilet trained for real. I could see in his eyes the connection as he made it to being a big boy, toilet training, and another fascination of his, which was beards. Since every time he used the potty, I told him he was getting to be a bigger boy, it really clicked with him when I said that when he was bigger, he could grow a beard of his own, much preferable to feeling up the beards of random strangers. I swear I used all the creativity I could muster to motivate that chile.

During this very long period of time,we lived in a place with air in the pipes, and the toilet made a horrifying noise, which I tried to explain by telling him that the toilet needed to clear its throat. Yes, in hindsight, this was entirely stupid of me, but hey, the kid was terrified. Frankly, so was I. Terrified he would never come near a toilet again. I saw myself changing poopy diapers up to the time I might need mine changed. The noise it made sounded like a screechy ERRRRRR, so we made friends with it, and called the toilet Errr.

This led to a great curiosity about other people’s toilets. He wanted to find out if anyone else had a toilet with personality that he could befriend.

Every time we went to a place he hadn’t been to before, he would ask the inhabitants right away “What colour is your toilet?” followed by “Can I see it?” These are the questions he came up with after I had to hurriedly explain to him that only our toilet was called Errr, because of course, he asked to see their Errr, and they had no idea what the Errr he meant.

A few years after he was toilet trained, he asked less often to see people’s toilets, and he quit entirely asking them what colour their toilet was. I didn’t fully understand the perseverance of his obsessions, but was happy to let it go.

A few weeks ago, I asked him if when he goes to a new place, he makes it a point to use the bathroom.

Yes, yes, he does. He has just gotten more subtle with his obsessions as he has matured. And now, I have more mildly amusing stories, and less explanations to provide.