August 31st, 2008 | 12 Comments »

I came across some beautiful images from Christopher F Carr by following his link after he commented on my site.

He graciously allowed me to use this one, and it is perfect for puzzling. I just love to discover and showcase photographers!

Create your own puzzles at PuzzleBee.com!

Posted in puzzles
August 30th, 2008 | 21 Comments »

Written late last night:

I never had the urge to blog when I had a drink in me, but Warrrior Woman’s contest changed my mind. (A bit)

See, I just spent the last three hours on the phone (while drinking wine!) with my beloved shaman friend in Texas, Lucy in da Sky. I have a kick arse long distance plan where calls cost me 25¢, no matter how long we talk.

When I first encountered her online, my phone bills to Texas would be easily $600 per month. Really. And I had dialup internet. Yes, it was more than ten years ago. I just had to talk to her every day. It was more important than food. I had found a kindred spirit.

The two of us have the dirtiest laughs evah. Except for my mom. She had an even dirtier laugh than us. But Mom’s dead now, so we dirty laugh supreme. And laugh? Oh Mah Holy Hell do we laugh.

We analyze the motives behind all the political goings on. We have it all figured out. We have determined that nobody in government has our best interests at heart. Radical concept, but we believe it thoroughly.

We hear clicks on the line and coo to the Homeland Security folks. Tell them that they might want to load up on coffee; this is going to be a long and boring conversation. (for them)

We have determined that Gustav is a maverick, and we fear his wrath. We think it will be worse than Katrina. There are a lot of things to talk about in three hours.

She fears for her future in the Ewe Ess of Ay. People in Texas fear anybody who is different. She. Is different. They can smell her difference.

I love her so much that I told her that I would marry her. It’s legal in Canada. I told her not to worry about that pesky sex thing. I’m not a canoe licker anyway, but we would have a spiritual marriage. The finest possible kind. If I got horny I could keep outside pets.

So how is that for blunk drogging? I proposed marriage to a woman (a woman!) that I love with all my heart, but have never even seen a picture of.

But? I have seen her heart.

And?

It is glorious.

Warrior Woman? If that doesn’t win your contest, you can place that pentagram where the sun don’t shine.

Posted in contests
August 29th, 2008 | 9 Comments »

Warrior Woman came to my house last evening. I was expecting to feed her, and was starving when I got the call that she had already eaten.

Ass Burger Boy and I dove into my jazzed up rice and sun dried tomato sausage, with a side of garlicy yellow beans. We was hungry puppies.

I had saved the wine bottles from her previous five visits. We wanted to start a collection. They stood on the living room floor, where I had left them. She took pictures with her new camera. We set her up on our network.I didn’t take a picture of her and ABB on the sofa, each with their laptop. Since both she and I blog anonymously, the pictures would reveal too much. I did mention parallel play.

She’s having a contest at her site. You really should go over and see the prizes. She wants you to blog drunk. Since I generally blog in the morning or early afternoon, I don’t believe that I will win. Bonus! You don’t actually have to be drunk. She’s all kinds of awesome that way.

Extra bonus: She took a picture of me in my natural habitat, wearing my all-time favourite polar fleece jammies. I took the other pictures with her new camera. There’s one of her in there, incognito, of course. Go see.

August 28th, 2008 | 19 Comments »

I have a strange family tree, which would explain the strange fruit (me) that it bears.

One oddity is my sister in law twice removed.

Above? First husband and his sister. He was missing his girlfriend, she’s just an all-round pill.

Her brother was my first husband. We divorced.

Once removed.

My brother, Mr. Trick, was her second husband. They divorced.

Twice removed.

That’s how I like her best.

Twice removed.

I prefer the first husband to her.

And that’s my bitchy story for today.

Posted in What's this?, rellies
August 27th, 2008 | 5 Comments »

From The Vagina Rocks

The Overthinker:

Yup. It’s a hoo-hoo. With maybe a side of ding-dong :)

Nan

I AM THE FIRST COMMENTER! Do I get a prize? Vaginas do rock, thank you very much. They are our friends, and anything that reminds one of a vagina has to be a powerful symbol of wonderfulness. If you can’t get stuff done with your vagina, however, you might try slamming a few doors and going “OUT!” My advice is free, ladies.

From Rolling With the Rellies

Lou:

Ah. She needs a script for ‘Beano’. I love that stuff. Because when you DO fart on that stuff, they. are. killers.

Knudsey:

a double mastectomy fffuuucccckkkkkkk! do they leave the nipples on? just asking as i have no experience with this except gurlyboys. Glad you had a good time except for the ER as they are never good times, remember better out than in.

From Psychic Boobies

Evyl:

I can see phyic stuff by staring at boobs so when women look at me in disgust for straing at their chest they should know that I am actually foretelling their future and it would help if they were naked. Join the viral campaign on Evyl’s mom and vote her for freak of the week at http://purefnevyl.wordpress.com/ Evyl’s mom is so freakishly dumb she wears condoms on her ears so she will not get hearing aides.

And the winnah is…

Andy Bailey:

psychic bewbs! lol left bewb: hey, righty, I know what you’re thinking right bewb: I knew you was going to say that!

Posted in Peep of the Week