June 16th, 2008 | 13 Comments »

I got a call from Warrior Woman a few minutes ago.

WW: “What’s wrong?”

WP: “Whaddya mean, what’s wrong?”

WW: “I’ve been checking your site all day, nothing.”

WP: “I didn’t write anything today. If you subscribed in a reader, you wouldn’t have to check, you’d be notified when I update.”

WW: “I know that. But why?”

WP: “I just don’t have anything to say today.”

WW: “Like PMS?”

WP: “I don’t get PMS. Never have. More like laziness.”

So, if anyone is worried, I’m just lazy and slightly antisocial today. But also, slightly bloated.

The End.

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Posted in little bits
June 14th, 2008 | 17 Comments »

I loved this image of an old house, sandblasted bricks prepped for new paint, with its spring blossoms. My friend, Marie, of Portland, Maine, took this on one of her bike rides.

Enjoy!

Posted in puzzles
June 13th, 2008 | 24 Comments »

My older sister, let’s call her Donna, was born on Friday the thirteenth of June, and today, I went to her place to go out to lunch with her nearby. I thought some Thai Chicken Bites, a nice glass of wine, it would be a nice birthday celebration for the two of us.

I stopped on the way at a garden centre, and bought each of us a bright red geranium.

So far so good.

Donna is unable to navigate stairs, and needs assistance, even with her walker. She falls quite a bit since her series of strokes.

The elevator in her building was on the fritz.

*Cue Friday the Thirteenth music*

Turns out that the place we had planned to eat lunch delivered.

Crisis averted.

So, that was the worst thing that happened, and really?

We ordered a delicious lunch, cracked open a beer each (which she had had since February) toasted one another, and ate at her table in our new clothing.

Yes! Donna and I had new outfits for the festive occasion

Notice I didn’t say birthday suits? I’m thoughtful and fabulous that way.

She was thrilled with her geranium, and we had a lovely time, although, as usual, she smoked my arse at Skip-Bo. She’s such a ruthless player that I once brought a pack to the hospital to see if I could beat her when she was sick. Crafty? Donna was. She refused to play.

We made plans to get together with Ass Burger Boy on his birthday next month at the same place we couldn’t get to today.

Friday the thirteenth? I fart in your general direction.

Posted in Donna
June 12th, 2008 | 19 Comments »

Skinny Bitch likes to mess with her kids heads and all, but admits in the early days, she and Mr. SB didn’t always think things entirely through.

Heartstopper was about five and was watching the Olympic Figure Skating Singles event on television with them, when she very confidently declared: “I can do that!”

Whereupon Skinny Bitch told Heartstopper that she would encourage her and support her.

First thing tomorrow, they would take her out and buy her figure skates and she would sign her up for the Olympics.

And then she gave it no further thought beyond “Cute kid.”

About an hour later, Heartstopper came out of her room, tears streaming down her face.

In a very small voice, she said “I don’t think I can do it.”

That’s one instance of perverse parenting Skinny Bitch felt really bad about.

On a higher note, her brother Georgie went to the Canada Games with his sport.

Great new contest! Four prizes up for grabs, including an Ipod Nano. Check it out on Bloggernoob and tell him that witchypoo says hi!

Posted in Skinny Bitch
June 11th, 2008 | 21 Comments »

Overheard, years ago in hallway. Two young boys playing.

“Lets play Batman.”

“Okay.”

“You can be Batman.”

“Cool!”

“F*ck you, Batman!”

I snuck away before they discovered I overheard them.

And? At least they weren’t fighting.

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