June 28th, 2008 | 17 Comments »

I arrived at Skinny Bitch’s house last night, after a long day on the bus. Hate the bus, but we did see a bear eating berries on the way. No pictures. I can’t upload pictures until I get my hands on the correct cable, which would be at home.

She looked so beautiful, about twelve years old. Really. So I immediately asked her if she had any work done on herself.

SB: I swear on my children, NO!

WP: *ahem* You had best be swearing on something that is really important to you.

SB: Okay. I swear on my new curtains that nobody is allowed to touch.

WP: That’s better.

But really? She would totally have told me if she had anything done.

Posted in Skinny Bitch
June 21st, 2008 | 10 Comments »

One of my artist friends is also an avid photographer. She loves to capture beauty and contrast, and sometimes does series to make political statements.

This is not the case here, as she is celebrating colour. Please visit her gallery to see more of her images.

Create your own puzzles at PuzzleBee.com!

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Posted in puzzles
June 19th, 2008 | 24 Comments »

My Grampie was an islander. Islanders are insular, even xenophobic people. He worked very hard in tough times, and froze an eye while caught at sea in a storm.

My Grammie married him when she was 17. I don’t think she ever loved him. But that’s a story for another day.

He, being from an island in the Bay of Fundy, didn’t have overly developed social skills.

I, being a child, didn’t recognize how inappropriate he was by times.

He once assured me that he could blow smoke out his backside.

Grampie: “You don’t believe me?”

Witchypoo: “Grampie, I don’t think anybody can do that.”

Grampie: “Well, I can show you the nicotine stains on my drawers.”

Strange sense of humour, Grampie had.

Posted in little bits, rellies
June 18th, 2008 | 15 Comments »

You people crack me up. I feel guilty that the comments are often better than the actual post, but I love it! And? It’s often really hard to decide how many to include. My laziness often makes that decision for me.

From Not Parallel Play

Knudsey

I don’t like batman either, those rich types think they can do what they like.

From June Peep

Krissa

Hey, I can relate to all poop stories, as living with an 86 year old, constipated, invalid, woman has taught me that EVERYTHING REVOLVES AROUND THE POOP. By the way, you keep me in stitches…even with all the, ahem, shit going on over here. (pardon the pun)

Jenny

Mylifeasmomma says . “I hear when you get old that the highlight of your day is when you go poop.” Are you kidding? The highlight to MY day is when I poop!!! When I’m 86 having a bm will probably move me to complete enlightenment. And I hear eating baked apples has a similar affect.

From Ask Witchypoo

LCeeL

Is everybody naked?

Memarie Lane

Well you certainly read my uterus.

From Sattiday in Maine

The Overthinker

I just typed a long comment and then my computer froze and I lost it. And let me tell you Witchy, it was pure genius. High-caliber humor. Funniness to the 10th power. You’re just going to have to trust me on this, it was going to be the best comment ever. Peep-tastic, if you will. Or, maybe I’m lying and all I did was post my time of 2:05.

From Just Lazy

Christy

I have blog-arrhea. Every time I do anything it seems blog-worthy. Then I READ it, and it’s like cyber-anesthesia. Oh Jesus. Now I want to blog about my blog bulemia…. HELP!!!

From Smite Me

Ass Burger Boy

I just want to tell you that his microphone would be a Suppository if he smacked me and refused to get it out of my face. Can’t stand people like that.

Nan

I just wanna tellya, Oh Lord, that made me giggle. And Lo, now I can stop feeling sorry for myself and go to sleep, yea, and possibly not wake up with the flu tomorrow, Oh Lord. Cause I just wanna tellya, Jesus, laughter is the best medicine. AMEN!

And the winnah is…

Texas Poppet

And the male congregates awoke with much oogling and gaping with awe as they beheld the sight of Witchypoos ta-tas and the just and righteous hands of their good wives did smite them in the pews. Praise be.

Posted in Peep of the Week
June 17th, 2008 | 23 Comments »

I was over at Christy’s site, and apparently, she was brought up on the lunatic fringe extreme southern type of religion. The kind where the pastor smacks smites you on the forehead and declares “You are healed!”

They fall into the category of the “Just wannas”. I just wanna tell you, Lord, blah, blah blah. I just wanna praise you, Lord, etc.

I was really, really sick one time, and a friend asked me to come to her church where a visiting healer was conducting his miracles. I figured what could it hurt, right? Right? Wrong.

I was fairly feeble, and extremely febrile, and it was summer. I made the mistake of struggling into what I thought would be acceptable church going clothes, a silk blouse with a modest skirt. It was too hot to wear a bra. Shaddap. In hindsight, I see my mistake. I was sick, okay?

Those who had requested a healing were to stand in a certain area. An area which I didn’t realize until later, was the prime focus of the video cameras.

I suffered through far too many Just wannas as I wobbled on my poor shaky legs. The fever had perspiration streaming off me, copiously.

Did you know that even dark coloured silk is kind of see through when wet? It had not occured to me. Strange. Fever. Blame it on the fever. Which made me perspire. Copiously.

By the time the anointed Just Wanna got to me, I was only standing with the assistance of my friend, who was feeling rather guilty for subjecting me to this in my condition.

Just Wanna mumbled a few words in tongues, and gave me an awful wallop on the forehead, recommended highly for those who are suffering an out of control sinus infection.

Was I grateful? I showed him my gratitude when he stuck a freaking microphone in my face. He asked me how I felt now, and smiled to his adoring congregation. I told him if he didn’t get that microphone out of my face right now, he would receive a similar smiting. There may have been snarling.

What? Pain doesn’t make you cranky?

My friend assisted me out of there immediately. We both feared I would be even more unpleasant.

Then I proceeded to sob from the pain and humiliation of being televised and smited while wearing a soaking wet silk shirt.

She took me to emergency, where I had to be admitted.

I totally get why people are skeptical of healers. Myself? I prefer to work entirely with energy and no smiting.

I just wanna share that with you.